I don't share my fanfiction on the internet, below you will probably discover why.

This is basically a collection of quotes from my fanfiction files, both the stories themselves and my rough outlines.

Also this is all completely out of context and out of order so have fucking fun with that.

IDK i thought this would be a funny list.

Mortal Kombat

• "So my co-worker has a hot date with Bi-Han tonight, and I have to look after her cat." "Aren't cat's usually independent animals?" "Really? That's the bit you picked up on? To answer your question however I am led to believe this particular cat has anxiety issues."
• "... Bi for god's sake calm down... You ARE an asshole."
• THEY THEN ARE IMPLIED TO GO DO THE SEX THE END
• Sounds about right for the spawn of Johnny Cage.
• "Why do you need a fake dick... You already have a real one, I've seen it, it's quite adequate."
• "So... He's googling you? ... I dunno man that sounds like he MIGHT have a crush on you!" "Oh come on. Just because someone googled someone doesn't mean they have a crush on someone. I googled how to make cheesecake once, doesn't mean I wanna go make out with one" "Admit it tho, you would totally make out with a cheesecake." "That's beside the point."
• "You're really that paranoid I'm going to suddenly jump on you and start making out with you?"
• "I can not think of any way to say this to you that doesn't seem awkward and out of context but... I need a photo of your dick..."
• "... You know I completely forgot you actually have other piercings. It's like whenever the subjects of you and piercings come together I think straight to dick." "Thats... Pretty gay actually." "I was about to try and argue with you, but then I read back that message and... Yeah that was really gay."
• "Have none of you watched horror movies?" Thomas interjected folding his arms. "Places named Crystal Lake are really bad news."
• "MILEENA HOW DO I GIVE MY BOYFRIEND A BLOW JOB" "YEAH YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY AN EXPERT IN THAT AREA."
• "I kind of freaked out about blow jobs and decided Mileena was the perfect person to discuss that with." "Uh." "Yes I realise now that I am sober why that didn't exactly go to plan."
• "dude thats rly gay" "Of colse it's gay we're both men, that is the definition of gay."
• "I guess after what we went through in the game, I see you as my friend. My annoying friend I constantly want to punch in the face. But friend never the less."
• "It was in the arctic. I kind of liked it and figured I could make home here." "Huh." "What? It's not like anyone else was living in it! Plus I don't have to pay rent."
• "Right back." "What was that about?" "Johnny Cage." "Say no more."
• stuff happens differently also everyone is basically a disney princess.
• LUI AND LAO ARE LIKE "YO ITS FATE" SONYA'S LIKE "YO DATS DUMB" JAX IS LIKE "YO WE GOTTA KILL SOME BITCHES" JOHNNY'S LIKE "OH GOD I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS WHAT THE FUCK" AND KUAI'S LIKE "NO BODY NEEDS TO KNOW I'M LIN KUEI... NO BODY"
• Raiden gather's his chosen warriors, and is in a bit of despair at the fact they're all fucking loosers. He's gonna make a fuckin' man out of them all.
• MEANWHILE SHANG TSUNG IS A TRAITEROUS LITTLE PRICK AND NO ONE WAS SURPRISED.
• then they get to outworld and it's like "well fuck this place is an absolute dump..."
• and Lui gets a boner.
• aka: Scorpion turns into christian gray and Sub-Zero makes a run for the nearest exit.
• They get back to outworld only for Raiden to be back and like "well... Mileena's in Earthrealm....... better get on that guys." and everyone's basically like "DICKS!"
• being the MASTER OF ALL ASEXUALNESS
• and that's all I have so far i'll find a way to wrap this up or something.
• "Oh my god, you broke it off again!" Johnny sits back looking scandalised. "That's why Tundra's been talking about dicks so frequently again isn't it?" "Johnny." I try to think of a way to reason with him, but the words can't come from my mouth. "Sweetie." Kuai starts bending across the table and holds his hand flat. "It's not your fault. Your Dad and I still love you very much. We just agree it's best we see other people."
• He's very concentrated, and unfortunately I am not as i find myself missing my footing going flying face first into the tread and being flung off and across the room.
• Cassie came in true Cage style. Unexpected and with a bang!
• "Johnny my water just broke!" I was silent for a few seconds. Talking to her later on at this moment I aparntly looked like a deer in headlights. "Your what did what now?"
• "Also let's face it..." I started. "Cassie Cage sounds fucking cool." Sonya scoffed, giving me and exasterbated look, before finally caving and laughing. I hadn't heard her laugh like that since the time we where dating. "Fine but if she get's bullied at school for that, your to blame."
• The problem with the world, is that the majority of it's inhabitance are, medically speaking, stupid.
• "Aw, Hanzo, you're growing up." "So are you." "Ah, yes. Soon this whirlwind teenage romance we have will have to end and we'll have to start thinking about settling down, with a mortgage and a house and a couple of dogs." "I am not ready for this commitment." "... But I'm pregnant."
• "This prison has a strangely large population of lesbians..." "Well yeah, have you ever watched Orange is the New Black?" "... WE'RE IN A -MENS- PRISON?"
• "Also, as a gay man, I hope you do realise that spit is not an appropriate lubricant!"
• "I think he likes you." Kung Lao says, smiling. I give him a disgruntled look and he raises his eyebrows. "No really. He only gives that sort of advice to people he likes." "He's never given me any advice like that..." Johnny sounds incredibly put out. "He doesn't like you." "Aw man."
• "Maybe he's trying to lull you into a false sense of security." "By punching me and generally making it obviose that he hates me?" "... Yes?" "Wow."
• "Nothing happened..." Tundra mumbles. "Well, I mean, he questioned the bruises that I had on my face courtesy of Prince Charming over there." He points at me and I shoot him a deathly glare at the introduction of such a nickname. "But other than that..."
• "Ah, I see." Tundra flips onto his side so he can look at me. "You're the kind who sucks metaphorical dick."
• In my musing I'd completely forgotten Johnny was actually in the room, and he too, from across the room is staring at the chocolate bar. For some reason my immediate reaction is to guard it with my hands, and I suddenly realise how childish a move that is.
• I turn my head to find Johnny suddenly next to me, got to give it to him, he's fast when food in involved. I go back into my defensive stance.
• "Well. I don't know if she's gay. Do I ask her out and just see or do I wait for the signs?" "What, like seeing her in a flannel shirt?" "That WOULD help!"
• They turn around, revealing it to be Hanzo. I sigh in relief slightly, the worst he'd do to me is punch me in the face again.
• "I can't resist long hair..." Tundra says dreamily. I suddenly feel a little awkward, considering the current lengh of my hair, my cheeks feel hot... I must be blushing. I think Tundra realises what I'm thinking, considering a blush comes across his face too. "Yeah well I mean... Your nice too, but don't let that go to your head."
• "Yeah but is he gay and are you going to tap that?" "Wow. Johnny." Tundra stares at him for a second. "Thank you for putting that so fucking bluntly."
• "I need a co-dancer... Could you..." "I don't know how to dance." "I can teach you it's no prob..." "Please no."
• I've only ever smuggled something inside once... And that was cake. For Kung Lao's birthday. And Sheeva caught me. She let it go because she was completely blown away by the dedication i'd gone to in order to smuggle a whole cake into the prison. I gave her a slice in thanks.
• "Have you ever watched hentai?" I give him a glance for a second, I know what he's getting at I just can't believe he's getting at it. "I think the worst thing is that I can't answer no to that question."
• How would having sex in zero gravity work? The idea sounds really kind of hot and I figure in a Sci-fi porn that kind of thing would fit hand in hand. But how exactly would it work? You'd be floating around? Would the thrusts propel you in different directions? Would cum just float around endlessly once climax was released? Has anyone ever had sex in zero gravity to answer these questions for me?
• My brother has done some... incredibly questionable things with his girlfriends over the years. He has almost always proceeded to then describe them to me in extreme detail. I know what a rainbow kiss is. I wish I didn't.
• "I need to get over the whole 'women are icky' stage sometime right?" "Most people get out of that in there teenage years." "Well excuse me for spending my teenage years thinking about dicks and how I want them up my ass."
• I decide to give him a minute before continueing, I don't want to overload his brain with homosexuality.
• How the fuck did this turn from me asking advice on how to write a hetrosexual relationship to an FAQ session on homosexuality?
• "It's Kung Lao isn't it? You two have done the do!"
• "Never!" Raiden shouts back, leaping up over the bench i sit on. "This blasphmous book must be destoryed!" He then throws himself back onto the floor, rolls slightly on contact before leaping to his feet and running off to the feild. I just blink, I would have never expected to see a move like that from a man like him.
• "God damn Cage your hunger for gossip knows no bounds does it?"
• For the love of god whatever you do, don't ask him to look at things Mileena he's fucking blind.
• "So... The floor is made out of faces..." "... That's... DISCUSTING! who would even DO that?" "... I'm going to step on one..." "DON'T YOU DARE!"
• chapter 1: which is subs and scorps making their deal, and stuff chapter 2: THEY DO THE SEX
• Mileena is trying to give Scorps a teddy bear but he's like naw son, and she's like yeh son
• "If we accomplish nothing else from whatever is happening right now, at least we'll get good blackmail material." Kung Jin interjected. "Jin!" Cassie scoulded. "C'mon, you where thinking it too." "Yes but I wasn't going to say it aloud!"
• Suddenly someone phased through Cassie again. "God dammit that has GOT to stop happening!"
• "Miss Cage? Apologies for bothering you, but I have a question... What exactly does the word "LOL" mean? Your last textual message has confused me." "Lot's of Love" "..." The dial tone rings. He hung up on you.
• You ask Quan Chi if he wants to go on a date with you. "... Are you still on that?"
• "Okay, listen, Bi has a phobia of flying... Don't... tell him I said that because he refuses to admit it's a phobia. You have nothing to worry about." "Okay." "Well I mean, unless this time we DO crash in which case, ignore me I'm an asshole."
• Quan Chi is dead except not really
• They set out with both child sub-zeros in tow (Hanzo takes to calling them Tiny-Zero and Tinier-Zero respectivly)
• "Grandmaster, how would your followers feel if they saw you acting like a spoilt child?" This seemed to get the Grandmasters full attention as he finally twisted his face around to view his visitor. The glare he gave was one that could kill, eyebrows furrowed into a frown and his lips shaped into a pout. Hanzo felt like he wanted to laugh at the expression, so unfitting and strangely adorable, but knew this would probably only make the problem worse.
• For an idiot, Johnny was observant.
• Sub-Zero just looked on, wondering what, other than alchohol, was going on with the ex-hellspawn.
• A sharp pain shot through Scorpions head, he groaned and burried his head into the pillow. Being dead for as long as he had been, he'd forgotten the absolute joy that was having a hang over.
• "... Wait. Where's Sub-Zero?" Meanwhile, in Gilneaus "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Five Nights At Freddy's

• Other stuff happens.
• You ask if his name is Springtrap. The rabbit seems frustraited you aren't understanding him but seems to figure 'Springtrap' is close enough and nods.
• You ask Springtrap if he likes pizza. "Circular tomato cheese?" You confirm that indeed, Pizza is generally circular and has tomato and cheese on it. He looks toughtful.
• Bonnie goes full “crazy ass person” and sets up camera's everywhere outside his apartment