- Niles: would u like some fruit? Nanny: Well you're gonna slide a cheesecake under that right?
- What does that mean? Niles: I dunno, I'm depressed, I've been in the brandy
- Niles: Happy hour doesn't start till YOU go home!
- here's a towel, go ahead and throw it in
- CC: hahahahahaaaa..stop it
- Niles: I'm taking the night off. If I'm not back in the morning: yay!
- lets hope ur recovery is faster than ur metabolism
- next time u give ur old clothes away, why don't u just stay in them?!
- CC: I knew u were a high roller...those shorts u wore to the beach were a huge gamble!
- I'd pay to see that! Sure u would, ur used to paying aren't u?
- What the hell is he doing?! Um, probably steroids
- CC: She's not as young as she looks. Niles: I agree, she could be close to ur age. CC: That's right, she could be close to for...get it Niles!
- (CC doesnt answer when max calls. He asks Niles what happened to her) Niles: I dunno sir, a horrible accident at birth?
- What's wrong with her? Oh that's far too long a list 2get into now...
- CC: Shit her boyfriends gorgeous! Niles: Oh cheer up, perhaps he's got a friend for u...here boy (whistles)
- Niles: I want my money back, ur car is a piece of junk and it smells like some animal died in the boot! CC: Ooo...(worried) Oh, no, he's at the vet :)
- Sheesh, I've seen death row inmates walk a corridor with more enthusiasm
- Niles: I'm glad this thing between u and him is over, he was beneath u. CC: Not anymore.
- CC: Great news, I have a friend who wants to buy our show and turn it into a tv series! Niles: Woah, back up, u have a friend??
- Niles: Why is she acting like such a lunatic? CC: Well have u gotten a load of the birth mother?
- At the risk of sounding like the doctor who delivered you, this could get ugly
- How does he keep in shape? Nanny: Running from commitment
- Nanny: If u think holding me tight is gonna get u outa this one mister, ur just gonna hav to move ur hands a little lower
- Max: Every time I ask u to do something u screw it up. Fran: And yet u continue to ask me...u need help mister!
- You sleep in ur makeup? Nanny: Honey, do u see a ring on this finger?
- Nanny: What did I tell u about snooping?! Maggie: That there should always be a lookout? Nanny: Good now go wait in the hall
- Niles: (seeing CC on the floor) cheers, it must be 5o'clock somewhere
- Maxwell: You are goin to rectify this situation. Nanny: Wow that sounds painful
- Nanny: In my house it aint over till the fat lady grabs a knife and says "fine, why dont u jst cut my heart out" Niles: well in my family we never say a cross word to each other...we just all die early from colon disorders
- Nanny: Do I sound like I'm coming down with a cold? Niles: Constantly
- Nanny: Can I talk to u for just a minute? Niles: I doubt it.
- Too bad we didnt hav this conversation in the garden...the plants wouldve loved the fertilizer
- Nanny: What we need here is a compromise. Max: U mean I do wat u want and compromise my integrity? Nanny: Yip, that's democracy in action
- Brighton: Why does everyone assume the worst of me? Niles: It saves time
- Nanny: Haven't u ever done something nice for someone? CC: Well once I gave a guy directions... Nanny: see there u go, that was nice of u. CC: I told him to go to hell.
- CC: This is none of ur business, my love life involves me & me alone. Nanny: Well if u enjoy that, wait till u add anotha person!
- Niles: She's seeing the doctor tryin2 find out why she hasn't stopped vomiting since I proposed to her...do u think mayb its happy vomit?
- CC: I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress! Niles: You'd hav to be dead 6 months to fit into it
- Do blondes really hav more fun? or are they just easier to spot in the dark?
- CC: I'm very busy right now... Don't u think I could ignore u some other tym?
- Keep talking, some day u might actually say something intelligent
- Don't u ever wonder?... What? What life would be like if u weren't deprived of oxygen at birth.
- This is no laughing matter...so forgive me... Hahaha
- CC: Suburban 7th graders have more sexual experience than you.
- Nanny: ur so cold-hearted! I mean when they shot bambi's mother, did u find that moment sad at all? CC: Well I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.
- Can u keep a secret? Nanny: Well I'm good until I run into another person...
- CC: I just heard the most exciting news! Niles: Oh how wonderful, why don't u run, make a friend and tell them all about it!
- Max: What are u doing in my room? Nanny: Well I heard moans & screams coming from ur bedroom so I figured...I should be part of it
- CC: Do u know wat makes me feel better when I'm sad? Niles: A fifth of scotch and a fresh pack of batteries? CC: No! ...wait?!... No!
- CC: Don't u hav something to dust? Niles: How about the left side of ur bed?
- So ur pretending to be an actress? No ur thinking of Paris Hilton
- I'll bet my reputation on it. Oh sorry that won't do...there's a 5 bucks minimum.
- Niles: Accidents happen. Exhibit A
- Do u like a sensitive guy? CC: Yes, I used to be one
- He wears the same thing everyday. He's like Fred Flintstone.
- Ur so beautiful, I don't understand, are u single by choice? Niles: yes but not hers.
- CC: Oh please, of course "seeing a man" means ur intimate with him...when I see a man, u don't think I'm intimate with him? Niles: Not if he sees u.
- Nanny: I know its gonna b hard 4u 2see her go seeing as u 2 were romantically involved. Max: We were not! Nanny: Just checking!
- Just relax. Stop and breathe. Nanny: I can't, there's no tym 4 oxygen.
- CC: Oh I didn't recognise you! Wait, quick, stand in Maxwell's shadow!
- U look pretty today! Thanx I was just thinking the same thing myself
- I like ur outfit...but on somebody else.
- CC: "Of course I know its strictly a business weekend. In fact, right now I'm on my way to get a wax. I mean fax!"
- "My back goes out more than I do."
- "Why are u here?" "I dunno, everyone was walking this way."
- "I can barely make ends meet." "You can barely make meat."
- "Please don't talk with ur mouth full, it looks like the sink backed up."
- "Yes, I'd love to come in but do u have those breathe-right strips coz u look like a snorer to me"
- "Have u ever been in love?" "Once." "Did it end badly?" Hopefully it never will."
aug 30 2012 ∞
sep 22 2012 +
sep 22 2012 +