• "They say size doesn't count, but my heart is a house."

Kevin Drew (Gang Bang Suicide)

• "I'm tired of feeling alone talking to you."

Bette (The Marriage of Bette and Boo)

• "Have you all wondered why sexual intercouse sometimes makes you want to commit suicide? That is a universal feeling, isn't it? Or is it just me? Can I see a show of hands?"

Woman (Laughing Wild)

• "It's just a friend who walked in, but didn't say hi...now he's waving...now he's walking over...but he's going to stop to talk to someone first...now he's coming over...Hey..."

Katherine at Lucca's