- February 16: I am FINALLY 22 Years Old! Let the fun begin!!
- February 17: My boyfriend dumped me via email. I feel the last year and a half of my life has been a LIE.
- March 22: I know that he is one of my oldest friends, but I really can't stand that he has changed so much. He is no longer my Superman.
- March 23: My mother is a pretty cool person. We actually had a good day!!
- March 24: I got to see my niece Maggie today. It really made me reconsider my thoughts on children. I REALLY want kids. Even though they give gross poo surprises.
- March 24: I know the truth about you. I want to stop crying about it, but I CAN'T. I don't want a future without you.
- March 25: Nothing new to report. Just floating through the day with a major HEADACHE. The headaches are becoming more frequent. I hope nothing is wrong.
- March 26: I REALLY love My Sailor still and he loves me too. I had a good time with Wife number 2 watching I Love You, Man. Kentucky went back to the Hawaii ex. (No more stand by.)
- March 27: I really don't want to talk to Mr. Closet right now. I am still mad. I know that I am suppose to be friendly with him, but I just need my space right now. I spent the day feeling the most uncomfortable I have ever felt. Even though I have never done anything with My Seth Rogen, his girlfriend thinks I did. So she was our chaperon for the day.
- March 27: I was left alone with My Seth Rogen. We kissed. I kissed Marked property. It was passionate and amazing.
- March 28: I spent the day with my Seth Rogen alone!! I have never been happier. Now I have two men fighting for my affection (My Seth Rogen and My Sailor). Mr. Closet is just fighting to stay friends. I don't know if I want that anymore. Nevermind, I do, but I why do I hurt so badly when I read his texts? Turning off my lights at 8:30PM!! Save the Earth.
- March 29: The guy of my dreams landed to me two days ago. He is so crazy about me. But he is a friend. I am scared to death! I don't want to lose another friend because we decided to jump into a relationship. Plus, My Sailor really loves me. I am really confused. How do I do this to myself all the time? I am single for awhile and then all of the guys in my life come out of the woods wanting me. Another Update to follow later...
- March 29: Today marked the end of my Spring Break. I didn't get to accomplish a lot of the stuff on my Spring Break list, but maybe next year. I thought that for sure I would be able to accomplish sleeping in until 8:30, but between my varies appointments and the stupid gardeners and the trash dumpster people. No luck!! On a HIGH note: I just spend the last 2 hours making out. I haven't had so much fun since high school. No sex, just a good make-out session. Too bad I will not see him until the end of May. Gives my lips more time to heal.
- March 30: Today was the first day back to school. I feel like a slacker. Astronomy was really hard tonight. I have no idea how I am going to pass the next test. Only 5 more weeks until school ends. I am a wreck!!
- March 31: Okay. I was prepared to give up on My Sailor but he always seems to come back in when I think that he has left me. School is moving along. I am more determined than ever to get passing grades this semester. I am not going to worry so much about relationships. I have been thinking that I want something more. My Seth Rogen has decided to break things off with his girlfriend. I told him not to, but he wants to be with me. It's nice to have someone want you, but I wish that the situation was different. He tells me that I am PERFECT everyday. I keep telling him that I am TROUBLE. But he doesn't believe me. So in 6 months, he is going to wind up with a broken heart and I am going to lose another friend. Don't say I didn't warn you!!
- April 1: I do not feel good at all. He finally broke up with her for me. I always imagined that this would happen but I didn't know that I would feel so guilty. I want to sleep the rest of this year away. This year is not shaping up the way I thought it would. I will not see him for another two months. Maybe things will be better soon. I don't think so.
- April 2: Today is Mr. Closet's sister's birthday. She got her belly pierced. She is 17 years old. I almost had a heart attack. She is a lady now. I miss her being in pigtails and wanting to follow us everywhere. Now she is a bisexual pierced lady. Where did the time go? I am slightly injured at the moment. I think that if I cause another blow to my knee, it's finally going to give out on me. I looked like an ass trying to get around campus today. Damn those hills!! I think icing my knee made things worse. I felt worse after doing that.
- April 3: I am having second thoughts about my potential new relationship. Granted I have until May 23 to make up my mind. But I know that he isn't the guy that I want to marry in the future. All he talks about is the future. It's really scary. He reminds me of Mr. Closet, which freaks me out even more. He is sweet and nice. I know that he is STRAIGHT. He wants to do everything to make me happy. Then that really scares me because I am going to get used to that again. That being the feeling of security and love. I don't want to think about the letdown. I don't think that I am going to be able to take it again.
- April 4: Nothing new. Another lonely Friday night with popcorn and Comedy Central.
- April 7: School is moving along. Astronomy is confusing. Not too sure about anything else in my life. I miss my best friend!! And LENT is over on Saturday. Probably will STOP taking phone calls after 8PM. FYI.
- April 9: Be careful what you WISH for because you just might get it!! What do you do when a guy that is TOO clingy? Usually that is MY problem. I am the needy one. The Earth has shifted and I don't like it. I wanted a guy that liked being in contact with me ALL the time, now I want him to find something to do. It's tiptoeing on obsession. At first... it was cute, but now it's annoying. I don't have something to say everyday. I lead a boring life. But have better things to do than to talk on the phone for an hour.
- April 10: Good Friday. Okay another Friday night alone. I am adding and deleting songs from my iPod. Accomplishment.
- April 11: I am happy. I spent the day with my best friend. The beach is an awesome place to clear your head. Talked to Sarah about WHY vibrators are better than Men. I will start that list soon. Found a GREAT mix for shave ice (Melona, Lime and Pina Colada). I cried today again. This time it was during "I Hate This Part" by The Pussycat Dolls. I want to be over Mr. Closet already!! It's been two months. He is fine and I am still a mess. But I know that I WILL NOT be FINE until May. So let the tears keep falling.
- April 12: Happy Easter!! After watching all of these relationship shows, I realize that I am scared of being in a relationship. My Seth Rogen is really awesome! He is caring and giving. I just need more closure from Mr. Closet. More closure?? Just FUCKING closure would be great.But back to school tomorrow. Only 3 weeks left!! Down to the wire...
- April 14: New Dating Rule: My vagina is like a vase. If you’ve had sex with me, it’s time to send flowers.
- April 17: School is moving along. I don't really care at this point. The truth is today has been very... difficult. My mind has been preoccupied with SEX. I don't know why. I came home and started working on homework and I had to stop because I could not concentrate. I have a ten page paper to do and I cannot do it. If I don't fix my problem soon, things are going to be bad.
- April 17 (Part two): i just finished watching the Millionarie Matchmaker. I just saw my perfect date came alive. The millionarie took his date to Dodgers stadium. He totally rented out the place for them. He also had a chef make dinner for them. It was beautiful. I am not a baseball fan, but I would totally love a date at Qualcomm Stadium (where the San Diego Chargers play).
- April 18-19: Saturday was pretty cool. I got to meet my family members. My cousin Undra from Arizona. She has the cutest little girls ever and they both love their cousin Andi. So yay!! Undra and I are friends on Facebook now. My first real family member on Facebook. Sunday I have to admit started off good and ended badly. I did the AIDS walk. It was truly amazing. The people there were so spirited and they were amazing. I was so glad to be apart of it. My team raised $200 dollars. I was so proud. Then the night came and I had stupid drama. I was sitting on the couch watching Tough Love. I was eatting chips minding my own business. My mom comes into the room and starts yelling at me for eatting chips on the couch. I made the comment that I clean up my mess what is the big deal? She comes back at me with I am going to take the cable out of the living room. She goes to the bathroom and then she slams the door to her bedroom. I went in to her room hoping to resolve the issue. She just tells me to go away. She is now giving me the silent treatment. This should last for about 48 hours. It's the most ridiculous thing that I have ever witnessed in my entire life. It's fucking childish. IF we have a problem lets solve it. Don't go to bed angry with me. You are fucking 50 years old. I just started cry. I texted the only person that I could think of, Mr. Closet. He was helpful and I wish that he was here. I miss him.
- April 26: Nothing new to report. I am currently sick. Chaminade ends on May 1st. And then I take my last final for the semester on May 11th. Then on the 13th I will be in Washington to see Mr. Closet. Things are good on the boy front. I think that I have finally met someone that I can really be comfortable with. I get to see him on the 23rd of May. I am really excited about it. He wants me to meet his dad and the rest of the family. It's an honor. I hope that I don't mess anything up. Cross your fingers. Okay... back to work for me. I am seriously HATING the massive amounts of homework.
- May 24: Has it really been over a month since I have updated? Crazy. School finally ended. My end result (grades) are 3 B's and 2 C's. Mom was okay with the grades. Not exactly over the moon. I am taking the summer off, and I start back in school on August 25. Well, I just came back from Spokane, WA. The trip was a mix bag of emotions. The trip ended well. No fighting. We did have a big fight on Sunday after graduation. I found the truth about Mr. Closet. Journals are really heartbreaking to read and you tend to learn a lot of a person from there DVD collection. That will haunt me for the rest of my days. I had no idea that he was such a freak. Mr. Closet graduated. I am so proud of him. I still love him very much, but I am finally able to move on with my life. I have been spending most of my time with my Seth Rogen. I have been loving every minute of it. I really feels good to be treated well. His family likes me and his dogs love me. Is this what it feels like to be adored? I hope that he works out. Or better, I hope that I don't FUCK up this relationship too.
mar 23 2009 ∞
jun 2 2009 +