°˖ ⊹ ꒰♡꒱ ❀ : lucid | ✧ : scary

——ㅤj a n u a r y .

• ✧ 23rd | jalen was sick--like life-threatening sick sick. he knew that his time was near... that he doesn't have long enough to live. days after, he died. i was crying so hard in my dream especially when i saw a repost on his tiktok pertaining that it will be his last repost. during the funeral, i didn't want to be near anyone other than jalen. after the burial, i decided to leave the house, go somewhere where i can breath... to calm my mind and heart. but someone who knew jalen and i saw me, they said there condolences to me which resulted to me crying so hard that i woke up. the lingering feeling felt too real that i cried in real life. i immediately got out of bed, went downstairs to see j getting ready for work. he saw me crying, i hugged him tightly, he hugged be back even though he doesn't have any idea why i was bawling my eyes out and cried in his arms, unable to say what happened. i cried so hard and my heart hurts so bad.