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What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all round the sun. What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye and be gone from me. Let me hold it close and keep it here with me. And one day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea. But for now we are young, let us lay in the sun and LIST every beautiful thing we see.

listography TERMS
Ryan activities (Hikes + Trips + Outdoor Activism)
books (reading, read, bookclub)
movies (In theaters, TV series, or docs)
  • Poor Things

Polite society will destroy you. Philosophy is a waste of time 
Bella. This improvement through philosophy is people trying to run away from the fact we are cruel beasts. Born that way, die that way. We go down there, they’ll quite rightfully rope us, rob us and rape us. And if they were here and we were there we would do the same to them. Don’t accept the lie, of religion, socialism, capitalism; we are a fucked species. Know it. Hope is smashable. Realism is not. Protect yourself with the truth." --Harry Astley - The Cynic

  • Baby Reindeer

I used to think that what you’re seeing here was, like, breaking the mold. I was so naive in thinking that this was something special, that when a writer sweeps you off your feet and says, “Hey, you’ve got it, kid. Let’s make you famous…” you believe every word he’s gonna say to you. ‘Cause it’s the words you’ve wanted to hear your entire life. “I believe in you… as much as you believe in yourself.” And you’ll do just about anything in the world he asks of you because… because fame encompasses judgment, right? And I… I feared judgment my entire life. That’s why I wanted fame, because when you’re famous, people see you as that: famous. They’re not thinking all the other things that I’m scared they’re thinking. They think, “It’s the guy from that thing.” And isn’t getting groomed magical? Before you realize you’re actually getting groomed. And you know it’s wrong, deep down, what he’s making you do. But you just keep going back. And you start to think, “Is my self-respect so fucking low, is my lust for success so fucking high, that I will repeatedly go back to this man’s house and let him abuse me?” “Oh, you’re a victim. You mustn’t blame yourself.” Good sentiment. But, no, I just had to keep going. My confidence is so low, right… I let this fucking mad bitch into my life. I knew she was growing attached, but I still went along with it to satisfy my own stupid need for attention. You see… that’s what abuse does to you, you know? It made me this… sticking plaster for ALL of life’s weirdos. This…this open wound for them to sniff at. I knew she was mad, and I knew she was dangerous, but she flattered me, and that was enough. I met this trans woman. You should see her. She’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever met, and I just couldn’t…love her. And I see it now. I see what it was that I lost in her. It’s because I loved one thing in this world more than I did her, right? One thing. And do you know what that one thing was? Hating myself. I love it. I’m addicted to it. I don’t know anything else. Because God forbid ever taking a chance at life. God forbid ever taking a chance at happiness. And that’s why I messed it up with her. Because I hated myself so much more than I loved her. And I loved her so very much. I’ve spent my whole life running away. I’m gonna stop running now.

  • Good Boys

You made us ditch school, run around with drugs, and lock a cop in a convenience store with what I now suspect is a dildo!

mar 6 2024 ∞
jun 22 2024 +