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“I wrote a poem about it, and then threw it away, because that’s the last thing I need right now: More words dedicated to people who will never dedicate a single thing to me.”

sophia follows:
*pauline products (skin)
autobio (TOP FIVES)
television (2019)
books (2019)
ʝ books

currently reading:

  • Warcross - Marie Lu
  • We Are Never Meeting In Real Life - Samantha Irby
  • Circe - Madeline Miller (physical)
  • The Martian - Andy Weir (audiobook)
  • Normal People - Sally Rooney (audiobook)

library books out on loan lol:

  • Skyward (Skyward #1) - Brandon Sanderson
  • The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet (Wayfarers #1) - Becky Chambers

read:

  • Carry On - Rainbow Rowell ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - oh, my heart ... this book took me by surprise in all the best ways. i had seen that it had (1) a really high rating & review count on goodreads, (2) been heavily praised by people who love harry/draco, and (3) had gorgeous cover art, with a second printing drawn by kevin wada. knowing it was a spinoff from the fake-fanfic-ship characters from fangirl (a book i didn't love) and also that a LOT of randos compared it to harry potter, i had Doubts.gif that it'd be even decent. and yet, it ... was ... a joy. without spoiling it, i'll just say, the first 10% i was comparing it to hp ... and then suddenly i wasn't comparing it at all, to anything else, and i couldn't stop reading even to eat.
    • also i feel like i really need to mention it but people do this a disservice comparing it to HP when it's very clearly a satire on the "chosen one" trope in all of media. on top of that the magic system rowell throws at you is all at once a joke and an incredibly deep wonderful thing? i love this book please read this book.
    • she's writing a "what happens after the chosen one's story is over" sequel to this i couldn't be more fucking delighted.
  • The Disasters - M.K. England ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3 1/3 stars - i actually started this right before the christmas hols, and had planned to read it while on vacation, but family uhhh was more disruptive than i'd expected :') instead i got to about 60%, and then didn't get around to finishing the last 40 until months later. this book was exhilarating to read and super lush in it's world building, definitely made me laugh, and was a joy with it's characters and especially cultural representation. that all being said, it felt a little cliche at a few points and by the last 80% i was sort of ready for it to be over, and i don't think i'd end up reading it again, but i WOULD rec it, so i'm leaving it at a solid 3 stars.
  • Top Secret - Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3 1/3 stars - rounded up to 4 on goodreads, but i'm on the fence on whether i'd reread this or not. since i loved their other m/m collab so much, i def expected a lot from this, which maybe isn't fair. i love how sarina and elle write dialog and alternating perspectives, i really SUPER enjoyed the frat house stuff (idk why, maybe because i also loved Greek? lmao) and the boys were cuuuute af. i was also TOTALLY RELIEVED when the thing w the girlfriend came to a head and it never went into a cheating story, which would have made me immediately DNF. but around 60% and on there were a few parts that felt a bit like they were out of step, or missing something? i just wanted a wee bit more from them i think. update 8/28: rounded down to 3 stars on goodreads.
  • Red, White, & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - the ABSOLUTE SWEETEST most fun and heart-wrenching romp i've read to date, also the author totally plucked the bi-awakening from my brain and that alone made it a 5-star read for me. it's also precious, hilarious, exciting, and intense. every character is lovely. i'm so grateful this book exists and is honestly flawless, we need more of this kind of romance in the NA romance genre!
  • Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2) - Leigh Bardugo ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 4.5 stars - rounded up to 5 on goodreads.
  • In Other Lands - Sarah Reese Brennan ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - what. is. there. to. even. say. ABOUT MY SON ELLIOT??? WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN??????? apparently nowhere, read this book or we're not friends and i'll never speak to you again. (i wrote an in-depth review for this but then took it out bc Spoilers. just trust me, read the book w/o knowing anything about it. come talk to me after.)
  • The Unhoneymooners - Christina Lauren ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3 1/2 stars - rounded up to 4 on goodreads! this writing duo is so hit/miss for me, i've DNF two of their books, but this was a really fun read. i had no problem suspending belief and just enjoying it, i really liked both olive and ethan and the fact that they kept calling each other anything but their real names was hilarious. the last like 20% felt a bit off in tone from the rest of the book, but it wasn't bad, just rushed and missing some depth to what they were trying to pull off at the end. i'd read it again, which is why i rounded it up. legit tho ethan has no right being that realistic and emotionally well-adjusted, what the heck lmao.
    • as a side note (and as a bi) sometimes i legit feel like i'm not even attracted to men at all when i read het romance like this bc i'm like not even slightly turned on by the Female Gaze scenes HAHAHAHA but olive in that red bikini ...
  • The Bedlam Stacks - Natasha Pulley ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3 1/2 stars - rounded up to 4 on goodreads. i ... don't even know where to start. i feel so conflicted with this book. it was beautiful. it was engrossing. it was sweeping and lush and deep and full of longing and softness and incredible moments and incredible characters. and yet ... it also disappointed me deeply at the very end, and i feel really hurt by it? but i probably would read it again? what kind of ... ridiculousness ... lmao. i think if i hadn't seen it tagged with lgbt, and i hadn't seen it touted as an actual mlm romance, i wouldn't have built up such an expectation of payoff in my head and i would have been less disappointed. i don't think i would have been less sad at the end though. but the book was so beautiful and i KNOW it will stay with me for a long time, so. i just don't know. i cried when i read the last paragraph. i just don't know.
  • Gathering of Shadows (Shades of Magic #2) - V. E. Schwab ◉◉◉◉◐
    • 4 1/2 stars - rounded up to 5 on goodreads. tbh it's hard to rate this w/o spoiling anything since it's #2 in a series, so all i'll say is: i still love lila with my whole heart and WHEN (PERSON) REALIZED (PERSON) WAS (PERSON) IN THAT FIGHT I JUSTTTTTT SQUEALED OUT LOUD FRIENDS anyway expect my review of book #3 right below this soon lmao
  • A Conjuring of Light (Shades of Magic #3) - V. E. Schwab ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - ANOSHE!!!!!! FIVE FLAWLESS STARS. 5000/5. READ THIS SERIES.
  • The Flatshare - Beth O'Leary ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - WHY AM I READING SO MANY INCREDIBLE MIIND-BLOWING 5 STAR BOOKS IN A ROW I FEEL SPOILED
    • okay real review: this book is beyond precious, is both wildly unrealistic and WILDLY realistic, and it balances the line with true perfection ... and i loved every second of it. maybe my fave het romance i've ever read? i loved both the main characters so so much, they were so lovely on their own and then when they got together it just was pure joy. i loved this even more than the hating game ... i need to buy a physical copy asap.
  • Recursion - Blake Crouch ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3.5 stars - rounded up to 4 on goodreads. i changed my rating from 3 to 4 back to 3 back to 4 before forcing myself to stop and just stay on 4, but my fingers are still itching to change it again. this book was a ride. i think it could have been a solid 4 stars, but during 55%-80% the book veered a little off the tracks for me, and then i was just glad to get to the ending. which was good. i think part of why i liked it and it was successful is that i, surprisingly, connected with barry. even though i normally hate stories with straight white males, he was an interesting character. the main criticisms i see about this book are talking about how unrealistic it is, which. it's ... if you can't suspend your belief for a book like this, you shouldn't be reading it lol. if you're here for real science you've come to the wrong place. also this book is way less shocking/full of surprises as it is full of tension and terror. anyway i'd rec it.
  • Noteworthy - Riley Redgate ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - during my hunt for more bi leads during 20biteen (and during my whole life, tbqh) i found this randomly a few weeks ago and everything about it sounded right up my alley. and i was RIGHT. i have so much to say about this book but i also don't know how to say it without spoiling, so i think instead i'll just say: please read it, it was funny, witty, smart, genuine, AND real, and i can't stop thinking about it.
  • Born A Crime - Trevor Noah (audiobook) ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - oh wow. this was not what i expected at all, i thought it was going to be lots of funny stories honestly. and yeah you can tell how funny he is, and some stories ARE really funny, but it's mostly just an incredible unfolding of a life story. it's hard to rate a memoir anyway, but this was incredible. i listened to it also on audiobook, narrated by trevor, and i think that made it even better. i was thinking i'd rate this 4 stars until i got to the very end, which was just so powerful and intense. this guy is only 5 years older than me.
  • Off Campus - Amy Jo Cousins ◉◉◐◎◎
    • 2.5 stars - i'm rating this at 75% because i feel like i already know how i feel about this book. i'm definitely still gonna finish it, but i'm also like ... just ready to finish it, yk? i might have played myself by picking up too many books at once, but anyway. i think my copy of the ebook has some typos/mistakes, which took me out of the story a few times tbh, and while i actually loved tom from the first moment, i had a hard time really getting into reese's character. maybe it was because of the narration being only from tom's pov? it's also a LOT slower and a LOT angstier than i expected. i'd def rec it as a fun m/m read, but i also wouldn't really care to read it again. i AM interested in reading the 3rd book in this series now tho, with cash and steph, so there's that. 9/3-bumped down to 2.5 stars.
  • Girls With Sharp Sticks - Suzanne Young (audiobook) ◉◉◉◎◎
    • 3 stars - i started this audiobook a month back when i was in new york and it was so slow i had a hard time really getting into it. decided today to try it again but on 2x speed and i actually think that helped a lot, especially with the first half. unfortunately i guessed the twist barely 15% into this book, but it was still really interesting to see HOW it would unfold, as the action picked up and the story revealed itself. i did enjoy it. i'm not sure if i'll pick up the second book though. also the feminist angle felt a little contrived to me, though i can't quite get my thoughts together on why specifically just yet.
  • Prince Charming - Rachel Hawkins ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 3.75-4 stars - i didn't expect to love this so much!? it was so much fun, sweet, and enjoyable. the publishers blurb is not at all a good representation of the book or plot itself which is so disappointing, but i'm glad i read it anyway. it was a lot less of a 'romance' novel as it was just a really fun story of a 'normal' girl who gets thrown into the life of messy royals because her sister is engaged to the crown prince. i loved daisy, she was sharp and witty, and i just enjoyed her perspective and narration so much. critically it's not a perfect book in any way, but it was a great light read and i'd def recommend it.
    • as an aside, the only heavy criticism i seem to see about it on goodreads is the 'scottish representation' and how unrealistic it is and i ... am kind of like ... lmao really? first of all, i'm dutch/american so i can't speak on the legitimacy of the scottish cultural details specifically, and yet i CAN say, as a person who is from two misrepresented cultures in novels by authors who are not from that culture AND that culture being western & white, there is more than enough in this book from scottish culture to make it believable and realistic, it's fiction, and if there ARE some discrepancies ... it is harming literally no one.
  • Her Royal Highness - Rachel Hawkins ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - WHO WROTE THESE SUMMARY BLURBS. GO HOME AND RETHINK YOUR LIFE. THEY ARE SO MISREPRESENTATIVE OF THE CONTENT OF THE BOOK ITSELF ... anyway this is the same in tone as the companion novel before, and i'm glad i read the first mostly bc it was really fun to see the cameos, but also bc i think if i hadn't, i would've HATED flora until like ... the 60% point. it's such a slowburn and soft unfolding of just a sweet story. i loved it. if it wasn't sapphic i might have rated it more like 3 stars? but yeah. not even ashamed to say i rated it higher bc of that. i need more sweet wlw romance, i want to be buried in it.
  • Snotgirl vol 1-14 - Bryan Lee O'Malley ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars avg - decided to binge snotgirl, went back and reread the first 4 chapters and then read all the way up to the latest chapter. some are def stronger than others, but i think on average i'm still really interested and the art is incredible and i love lottie and caroline so much, so. 4 stars. i think if i hadn't read o'malleys other works, i ... probably would be really frustrated by the story itself. but i already know his style of HUGELY unreliable and unlikable narrators, magical realism, and jumpcuts? i still think ... i'm not sure if i think this format of actual serial comics is the best way for this story to be told. i'm on the fence. i like the idea of the bindups better, and will probably be buying them at some point.
  • Heartstopper, vol 1&2 - Alice Oseman ◉◉◉◉◐
    • 4.5 stars - these were an INCREDIBLY quick read, like quicker than i even expected, and it feels a bit like cheating to log them as book reads lmao. but anyway, they were both so sweet and precious, there's literally no other words. i love nick so much. if you have 15 minutes to spare pick these up!!! the only reason why they're not a full 5 stars (i actually rated vol 2 5 stars on gr but anyway) is bc the art, while really cute, is a bit crude and unrefined. it works, i just don't know if it's worth like. Talking About, which feels a bit mean lol.
  • Pumpkinheads - Rainbow Rowell & Faith Erin Hicks ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - i feel like maybe i should've waited until halloween to read this just because it's an absolute perfect halloween-mood cozy read, but i couldn't wait and it was precious. it also makes me miss the US and all things theme park and fair-related, haha. i REALLY want to try a pumpkin bomb ... this is a 4 star read for me just because it felt a LITTLE too shallow/light until the last like 30 pages, which wasn't BAD it just wasn't for me, i always want more depth lol. but it wasn't pretending to be a deep or heavy read, so i can't fault it for that.
  • The Poet X - Elizabeth Acevedo (audiobook) ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - wow. wow. i'm ... this ... gutted me. i literally have no words lmao. i remember when i picked this up thinking it would be good, but i wasn't expecting to feel so ... moved. i don't even know how to explain it. i cried three times, teared up a million more. the teenager me AND adult me felt this in a way that was soul-wrenching. if you're feeling intimidated by the prose format, i cannot recommend the audiobook ENOUGH. elizabeth acevedo's voice and delivery reached deep inside me and she squeezed out my heart in her hands. and i thank her for it.
  • Fake Out - Eden Finley ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - listen. i love the fake dating trope, i swear i'll never be tired of it?? and this was perfectly done. *smashes cup* ANOTHER. on top of that i loved the banter between the two mcs SO much, it never felt stale and it was so natural and fun. the buildup of the relationship was great, it wasn't insta-love which is a huge pet peeve of mine. another really good choice this book made: alternating perspectives between the two main characters. both of the main characters are able to help each other get through their past relationship hangups, but not because they were escaping it or saving each other from it, but instead because they helped each other come to terms with it and realize their new partner isn't their old partner. that message alone is SO healthy and i loved it so much. plus there was no unnecessary or drawn out drama, and they both grew to understand AND compromise with their partner almost in an unconscious way and i loved that too. i had one minor criticism, but i put it on goodreads under a spoiler tag, and idk. anyway i really enjoyed it and will probs read the rest of the companion novels in the series!
  • Carry On - Rainbow Rowell (audiobook) ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - this was a reread and i think i somehow loved it more the second time around oh my god
  • Wayward Son - Rainbow Rowel ◉◉◉◐◎
    • still can't even believe this book is real. thoughts so far, 35% in: um i love this. if this book is literally just cute scenarios and also some hard stuff where all FOUR of them have to come to terms with themselves and learn I. WANT. 200. MORE. BOOKS. OF JUST THIS. my heart keeps breaking as simon pulls himself back and gets overwhelmed about being vulnerable with baz ... i love him so much ... i love them both ... i hope they just are happier by the end ....... that's honestly all i want from this book and it's already delivering on parts of this and i hope it follows through ... also penny and agatha too ... w e h
    • 4.5 stars - OKAY REAL REVIEW: for a middle book, this book was ... near flawless. i didn’t go into this thinking it would tie everything up neatly with a bow, what i EXPECTED was a book that would basically do the opposite of what JKR did with her ending and epilogue: explore the reality of what the aftermath and trauma of a 'chosen one' story looks like, after it's over. and boy did this book DELIVER. one criticism is rowell needs to either bring on sensitivity readers or stop writing poc altogether bc it's obviously uninformed and it's harmful. full review up on goodreads
  • Artemis - Andy Weir (audiobook) ◉◉◉◎◎
    • 3 stars - this was enjoyable, but if i hadn't read the audiobook, narrated FLAWLESSLY by rosario dawson, i probably would've given this only 2 stars. the main character jazz was a bit grating, the plot felt confusing at times, and it really could've gone a lot of different ways in the end. but i really liked how smart it was, and the sciencey world building was super well done, described really well and it felt real. still not a super strong book. maybe even more of a 2.5, but dawson honestly REALLY sold it for me.
  • Renegades (Renegades #1) - Marissa Meyer ◉◉◉◉◐
    • 4.5 stars - i feel like i can't give it a full 5 stars simply because the pacing was slow the first 25-30% of the book and i legit put it down and picked it back up again so many times during that part of the read for like ... two weeks. BUT i did keep picking it back up bc it intrigued me! and once it picked up pace, it really got me. here's the thing. this isn't a unique or groundbreaking book in ANY capacity. it also doesn't PRETEND to be. i went into it knowing that, and i think because i did, i was just honestly so entertained. i love nova, i love adrian and oscar and ruby, i love fuckin leroy acid hands, and adrian's gay dads, and really like every single character tbh? they're all fun, have depth enough for the first book in a trilogy with the promise of more, and the story is good fun and well thought out. i also i went into it with my personal side as a lover of all things x-men and mutant stories and what it means to be a wholly marginalized/widely hated group because of something you were born with that also lends you power/makes you "scary". i think it's a FASCINATING moral dilemma, and i literally will never get tired of reading it. this really ticked every box for me and i can't wait to read the rest.
  • Archenemies (Renegades #2) - Marissa Meyer ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - oh my god i'm so glad i don't have to wait another year for the finale of this series. this was definitely paced faster than the first book, but it was still a bit of a slow story, action-wise? i'm actually kind of glad i didn't go into the series expecting anything, because i might have been disappointed if i'd thought it would be a certain way. i think if you're expecting a LOT of fast paced marvel-style action story, this isn't it. there's a lot of exploring of morality in both books, and two main characters dealing with generational/inherited expectations, their own fears and traumas, and the entire weight of morality. and honestly i love every second of it!
    • i also love both adrian and nova and their arcs so much??? and i love seeing the very slow but deep progression nova has made while being exposed to the renegades for a while now. how she's starting to get actually angry against her internal monologue, clinging to the threads of her previous belief system fed to her from ace for so many years. i'm ready to see it all break the surface!!!! FUCK IT UP MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!
    • theories for book 3: phobia is adrian's bio-dad, ace's helmet was made for nova from the start, max took adrian's mom's power WHICH MEANS ONE OF THE (FOUNDING?) RENEGADES BETRAYED HER, ace betrayed nova's parents in some way possibly by sending the hitman after them bc her dad was making stuff for the renegades incl the bracelet, idk idk idk so much more i can't wait to read it and find out
  • Conversations With Friends - Sally Rooney (audiobook) ◉◉◉◎◎
    • 3.5 stars - i rounded this down to 3 stars on goodreads bc i'm not really sure how i feel about this book or how i want to rate it? the story itself has a very personal feeling that almost feels wrong to rate, until i remember it's actually fictional. i also really loved francis and her thoughts through this, and even the characters i didn't like, i liked bc they had depth? ... but i dunno. my thoughts are super tangled lol
    • 2 days later - okay i thought about it some more and i def think this book is just ... alright. 3 stars is generous though and i might nudge it down to 2 lol. it's written really well, which is why it's "just alright", instead of "not great" or "bad". but no one in this story grows or changes in any meaningful way. by the end, it was excruciatingly frustrating. i also, not at the start but by the end, hated nick, like, a lot. i don't really care to read about emotionally constipated white privileged men, even if the writer themselves has him being self-aware of his privilege? because he's not owning it or taking responsibility for it. it was literally just a "well, these are the cards i've been dealt, and sure it's unfair, but what can you do" feeling, and by the very end i wanted to punch him in the fucking face. it wasn't witty or interesting, it was just annoying. the only part of this book i liked in regards to the emotional relationships were: francis and bobbi. everything else just had me thinking "why?" constantly.
  • #Junkie (Gearshark #1) - Cambria Hebert ◉◉◐◎◎
    • 2.5 stars - first 60% of this book: thinking emoji, eye rolling emoji, unamused emoji. last 40% of this book: heart-eyes emoji, The Scream emoji ... and also eye rolling emoji again if i'm being honest here.
    • overall thoughts on this book: tfw you forget you ran yourself a bath and you rush into the bathroom only to realize the bathwater is lukewarm by now but you get in anyway bc you don't want to waste it and spend only like 10 min soaking until you get cold and get back out. but at least you got to enjoy 10 min of a bath instead of no minutes of a bath? i guess???? i'd probably rate this a little higher if i didn't hate the writing so. goddamn. much. i have not cringed and rolled my eyes this much at a book in a long while. (who the fUCK says "hells yeah?" unironically? multiple times??? sometimes i wish i was jared, 19 ...) by the end i was legit happy to be done reading it, even tho i really loved the friends-to-lovers aspect and thought drew and trent were both really cute and sweet. that's the only reason why i didn't dnf it tbh. also i literally did not once feel like i wanted to highlight anything, and that alone tells me a lot bc i'm a serial highlighter/notation writer.
  • #Rev (Gearshark #2) - Cambria Hebert ◉◉◐◎◎
    • 2.5 stars - why did i read this when i knew from the first book that i hated the writing, you ask ... god listen i just wanted to know how their story ended after investing so much already, sue me. i finished it and i know i have no one to blame for my own frustration except myself. i’m making this sound like it’s unreadable, but it’s really just SO annoying and frustrating and cringey, and made me roll my eyes, scoff, and laugh AT the book countless times. but the characters are solid enough to bring entertainment and engagement, which is why i wanted to know how their story ended in the first place. just. at the expense of my sanity i suppose??? my own frustrations with the writing aside, i'm sincerely tempted to dock an entire point because of the biphobia. i felt SLAPPED by it at the end. i legit hoped the author, over the course of two fucking books, would stop wasting my time and allow drew to maybe consider himself bi. i'm ... i ... I EXPECT NOTHING AND AM STILL DISAPPOINTED. the bar is literally so low it's on the ground. jesus. i'm tired. the homophobia from their families in this book really hit me hard though. it was a lot, and actually very raw and surprisingly realistic, and drew's parents especially ... i felt that. i also really did feel their friendship and love for each other. (tho they def were way too sexually comfortable for two previously """straight""" dudes in such a short amount of time, and even just too ... proficient at dick sucking LMFAO but that's a minor detail)
    • anyway at least i satiated my curiosity and got to the ending. why this was dragged out into two books i’ll never know. jokes on me because i read them both so idk. we're all losers here i guess.
  • Trick Play (Fake Boyfriend #2) - Eden Finley ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - (i'm rating this here before logging it on goodreads bc i wanna make myself finish 2 other books before logging this, but i did finish this at 6am this morning LOL)
    • WHAT A BREATH OF FRESH AIR AFTER THOSE LAST TWO BOOKS ... as much as i loved the characters from #junkie, i didn't realize how much i needed to just scrub that writing out of my brain until i picked this up. and this was actually the perfect choice. what a great book. it's no secret one of my least favorite things is insta-lust, but i do think there's a realistic side to it, and this book did it SO well. i absolutely believed all of it and i was shocked that i ended up really liking both matt and noah, separately and together. i totally understood their hangups and what they were struggling with, and while there was something that could be categorized as "misunderstanding" in the plot at one point, again i thought it was so REALISTIC. because people definitely DON'T say certain things irl and make assumptions, but most books end up taking it too far/too stupid. this was so realistic, just. chefs kiss. ALSO FUCKING FUNNY just like the book before this in the series, i laughed a lot at so many funny lines, and the dialog was just so good. 4 stars because i had a few times where i just thought "wait how much book is left, where is this going" but it wasn't a bad thing, just that i had no idea what it was gonna do? also i have a hard time giving 5 stars out to any m/m books tbh for a myriad of reasons, and the very ending made me laugh a bit (in a bad way) (but it was still cute). but anyway i really love eden finley's writing and now i can't wait to read the rest of her books in this series I TRUST HER WITH MY LIFE???
  • Deke (Fake Boyfriend #3) - Eden Finley ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3.5 stars - can you tell i'm avoiding finishing other books ... what's my problem lmao. anyway. this was lovely. i'm rating it a tiny bit lower than the other two simply because i honestly didn't feel as much of a connection with the two mcs until the 60%ish mark, and that's an entirely personal problem, so i still rounded it up. but the plot and all the side characters were so fun that it almost didn't matter and kept me going. this was SUCH a slow burn, especially compared to the book right before it! the themes explored in this book were so fun, the "fake boyfriend" aspect was different than the other two (which was ALSO BRILLIANT?? HOW SHE DO IT) and i honestly love this author. bless. i also loved the hockey aspects, and the family dynamics which was a really fun/different thing (especially after matt's family in the last book omg) just a v solid read honestly. i'm so in love with this author lol
  • The Binding - Bridget Collins ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - holy shit this book??? what the fuck????? WHAT THE FUCK??????? WHO WAS I BEFORE READING THIS BC I CAN'T REMEMBER. this gay historical magic realism eternal sunshine of the spotless mind au got me ALL TYPES of fucked up!!!! in the best possible way lads!!!!!! i've been trying to think about how to review this for a few days now and i'm still reeling and recovering so idk maybe i shouldn't even try.
    • let me just say these things: go into this book knowing nothing, it's the best experience. if it sounds like something you'd like: READ IT. but that being said, this book follows *TYPICAL* magic realism tropes. this is not about the mechanics of the fantasy/magic. this, in the end, is a romance. if you expect something else, you might be disappointed. OKAY NOW GO READ IT.
  • Supernova (Renegades #3) - Marissa Meyer ◉◉◉◉◐
    • 4.5 stars - what a great ending to a super fun series! damn that epilogue tho. after finishing this and letting my emotions settle a little, i think i had two things i looked back on and was like "hmm" about, so i feel like i can't rate it a full 5 stars even though part of me wants to. no spoilers, but it was just relating to a few plot choices. also maybe it was my own fault but i kept looking back at the cover waiting for a scene like that to happen and it distracted me a few times. that being said, this book was FAST. PACED. considering i think it was actually longer than book one (which was THICC) this went by in a flash. so much happened, and it kept me guessing, wondering what would happen next, and i really loved it, i couldn't put it down. i'm kind of sad it's over tbh because i really enjoyed reading this and loved all the characters so, so much. except ace. fuck that guy.
    • spoilers: two things that bothered me - nova. oh dear nova. i understood why she did what she did and thought what she thought at each point, i couldn't even fault her for her choices, but i got so FRUSTRATED with her by the near end (tho i loved the ending where she does finally figure it out ... it just felt like it took SO. FUCKING. MUCH. to get there, i was exhausted) and it was frustrating. the OTHER thing - while this book was so fast paced, it also gave me whiplash a few times, and i felt a bit exhausted by it at the 50% point like "where is this gonna still go/what was the point of the first 50% if that's all undone now?" and that frustrated me a bit. looking back, i kind of can't help but feel like ... that could have been part of book 2, and so much in book 1 and 2 could have been cut out instead. idk. it read SO fast. i think overall this series suffers a tiny bit with pacing issues. it's not a huge detracting factor tho ... but looking over it as a whole, it is there. so idk. i did really like this trilogy tho, legit the characters were *chefs kiss*
  • Blindsided (Fake Boyfriend #4) - Eden Finley ◉◉◉◐◎
    • 3.5 stars - damn i ... wanted to love this more than i did. i think it was my own fault though, because i binge read book 2, 3, and 4 so quickly that i burned myself out a little on reading about the homophobic nature of mens organized sports. it was actually really well written and in each book it's used differently and perfectly handled, i think i was just sort of worn out by it. i should have waited between reading this and the other books. THAT BEING SAID. i absolutely loved talon and miller. the way they balanced each other out was so good. also that ending, i loved it 10000x more than noah and matt's ending haha. (ah another thing i didn't love/personal hangup was just. i wanted more exploration and rep for these two bi guys. it was well done but it just felt so much like a footnote? which is fine ... idk what i wanted. just want more bi stuff i guess. story of my lifeeeee)
  • A Thousand Mornings - Mary Oliver ◉◉◉◉◉
    • 5 stars - idk maybe i just have no clue how to rate poetry but for me a poetry collection is either 5 stars "i loved it" or 1 star "i hated it" and there is no in between. this was lovely and i want to run away to the woods now bye.
  • Hat Trick (Fake Boyfriend #5) - Eden Finley ◉◉◉◉◎
    • 4 stars - i definitely wish i hadn't read all of the books in this series in a row like this, because i burned out a bit on them which is really my own fault, but i also just really wanted to finish it and be done. that being said, this book brought back a few things i didn't realize i felt was missing from the last two and that was: BANTER. i suppose it's partially because both jet and maddox are more talkative i guess, but i also think it could have been done for all of them in diff ways, and i just sort of missed it in lennon and ollie & miller and talon's books (it wasn't completely missing. but it was so much less than the 1st and 5th books, ya feel?). i was also so happy to finally take a break from the whole homophobia-of-mens-sports thing, but then the book threw this whole ... homophobia-of-the-music industry into it, and i kind of was just tired of it. it wasn't nearly as intense since none of them were struggling with coming out publicly in this book (thank god) but it still was kind of annoying. ALSO i'm tired of reading about celeb status people by this point. bleh. that all being said, i really loved soren AND jet, they balanced each other out sooo beautifully, and i thought the unfolding of their relationship was really well paced! and so healthy!! SOREN IS A FUCKING ROCK. also i normally don't like age gaps but this worked really well and didn't leave me with the squick factor, i think because their relationship really was so well balanced. anyway it was good, but i'm glad i'm done with this series too lol.
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jul 3 2019 ∞
nov 18 2019 +