Even in my most happiest days, even in those moments; if I thought about my whole life in that moment, I would still feel like I want to die. I didn't want to leave Japan because I do not want to be exposed to the unfixable problems I have in my home country.

This week was rough, it left me completely drained, tired and sad. I wondered if I am such a horrible and terrible human being to receive these kinds of hardships. I didn't really do anything so extreme so why is all this happening to me? If suicide wasn't a sin, I would already be dead by now.