Sam: I swear I'm not high! Me: PASS THE BLUNT!

"I'm your slutmuffin!" --Sheen

"Sweetheart, this East-West goes north!" --Bus Driver

"I wonder if they sell sperm-shaped confetti at Party City..." --Kathleen

"...and THEN I broke his nose!" --Sam

"I will have beautiful thighs at the end of this." --Me

"I have to go move in now." --Anyone from Debate

"Yeah, this elevator is gonna totally bypass the Creswell lobby and descend straight into hell." --Me

"Auburn University: Where men are men and livestock are nervous." --Daddy

"You can never get lost! You can only go on a tour and end up where you started about 20 minutes later!" --UGA Transit

"Our hallway smells like someone poured a keg in it." --Blake

"Why is the pork fuzzy?" --Me

"Do you know what I'm covering up with those pins? A PENIS!" --Kim