- Bob - he was hanging around in the playground reading a stolen copy of the Sun with James Berresem. Rob was looking at Sam Fox's tits and James was trying to learn the lyrics to "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits. I didn't know who Sam Fox was and they took the piss out of me. We've been mates ever since.
- Rupert - I walked in to the drama kitchen at school, as James Isles said I had to meet this cool new guy who'd got kicked out of his old school. Alexis was sitting on Rupert's knee, cutting class. Rupert acted like a twat because he'd got a girlfriend and thought he was the daddy. I thought he was a cunt. We've been mates ever since.
- Matt - he was dweeby, hyperactive, had no personal hygiene whatsoever, was so much better at maths than me that I thought he might be from another planet, played link up Doom on his two ancient 486's and wielded various foam weapons while shouting "double". He shat himself every time I threw a daddy long legs at him. We've been mates ever since.
- Emma - she was so pissed she could hardly stand, on the wrong end of a 48 hour speed binge, lurking by the cash machine. I said she was "broken goods" and advised retiring to a safe distance. She spat acid at me. We've been mates ever since.
- Pat - I was in Rupert's room at college getting reefed. He told me a about this brilliantly chilled bloke he'd met who I absolutely had to meet because we'd really get on. Pat came in. I instantly thought he was a cunt. We've been mates ever since.
- Tom - I was in the Windeyer. Tom walked in with Nina. I though they were both twats. We've been mates ever since.
- Alison - everyone kept saying how lovely she was. I got her stoned on Rupert's blow and she threw up in the gutter. I followed her back home after an unlinked piss up and slept in her bed with no pants on. Alison crapped herself for 8 hours and kicked me out of bed with a cup of tea. I'd never had tea in bed from a girl that wasn't my Mum. I've loved her ever since.
- Kathryn - she knocked on my door on the day before term started while I was desperately trying to get my Mum and sister to stop crying and leave. I instantly forgot her name. My Mum thought it might have been "Brenda". We talked to each other in the dinner queue later even though neither of us like strangers. I thought she was the first girl I'd ever met who I could have a conversation with or didn't want to hit me. She hated my stripey weight lifting trousers. We've been mates ever since.
- Morgan - in the basement of the anatomy building, first day of term, we all went round in a circle saying what we liked. Morgan said she'd been travelling in the states. I said I played the guitar and liked cycling. She thought I was a damn hippy. I thought she looked like a man. We've been mates ever since.
jun 21 2006 ∞
jun 21 2006 +