You should have known this was coming...It's basically the whole movie in a nutshell, not quite in order though.

• Bender: Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other?

Claire Standish: (nods) Bender: Wouldn't I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?

• Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics club too.

John Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about? Brian Johnson: Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club, uh, the latin, and the physics club... physics club. John Bender: Hey, Cherry. Do you belong to the physics club? Claire Standish: That's an academic club. John Bender: So? Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. John Bender: Ah... but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club? Brian Johnson: Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics. John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?

• John Bender: Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
• Allison Reynolds: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.

Andrew Clark: Wow. Are you psychic? Allison Reynolds: No. Brian Johnson: Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me? Allison Reynolds: I stole your wallet.

• Richard Vernon: Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?

John Bender: Yeah. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

• Allison Reynolds: I don't have to runaway and live in the street. I can runaway and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan.
• Brian Johnson: I'm a f***ing idiot because I can't make a lamp?

John Bender: No. You're a genius because you can't make a lamp.

• Brian Johnson: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is.
• John Bender: Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

Brian Johnson: Uh, no. Mr. Johnson.

• Richard Vernon: What if your home... what if your family... what if your dope was on fire?

John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

• Andrew: What do you need a fake I.D. for?

Brian: So I can vote.

• Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.

Bender: Who cares? Allison Reynolds: I care.

• Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?

Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus? Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus. Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?

• Bender: (running through the halls singing) I wanna be an airborne ranger / I wanna lead a life of danger / Before the day I die / There's five things I wanna ride / Bicycle, tricycle, automobile / Vernon's mother and a ferris wheel...
• Bender: (after Claire kisses his neck) Why'd you do that?

Claire Standish: 'Cause I knew you wouldn't. Claire Standish: (pause) Did you really think what I did with my lipstick was gross? Bender: Honestly? Claire Standish: Yeah. Bender: (nods) No.

• Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete... Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case... Claire Standish: ...a princess... John Bender: ...and a criminal... Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.