- jan
- (24/1) sitting with shi, evan & charlene. it's been such a long time. but i know my heart still connects with theirs. i truly long to see them grow up in Christ and be influencers for our generation. it's one small step i'm taking lord, but it's gonna open me up to more.
- a conversation with a fellow staff. my inquisitive mind always pushes me to risks. i asked a pretty sensitive question and that led me to a surprisingly heartfelt answer. i'm truly blessed by her openness.
- feb
- (9/2) 1st m/c of 2010. argh.
- (CNY) Fruitful but tiring. Deepen my understanding of chinese cultures, traditions and the conviction of staying together.
- (23/2) talk with rcs staff. insightful i must say. heartfelt. lord thank you for bringing the ppl to him.
- mar
- (28/3) coming to the end of the month. can't believe it what happened in btwn? prayer meetings, disappointments, tears, getting in touch with not just what i feel but why i feel. i didn't realize hw much mutuality in friendships mean to me until today. the talk with her made me realize the crux of the issue - if she didn't trust me or see me a good friend (which i thought she did), the working r/s wouldn't work. another aspect of learning i got today is not just the stake of leadership: how implicit influence is, how leadership needs to be earned, but also mistakes of leadership: how to deal with them.
- (29/3) another "mistake". was there any logic to the decision or was it purely based on emotion? i haven't been hearing you clear, feeling you near, yet i still made such a decision. WHY? And i hate to feel like i'm jus like one of them, nt able to make a full stand like how i used to be.
- jun
- (22/6) fast forward things got busy, i couldn't find time to process. now that the storm is ovr, i seem to be left with the pieces. i'm desperately trying to find moments of sanity, moments of quietness. just to put myself back together. but despite it all, i'm still so so thankful to YOU. YOU made the miracle happen. i'm so glad that things are looking up for him ;)
- (30/6) feeling terribly lonely and insecure. i need to count my blessings and acknowledge once again that i can't have everything in this world. and the friend doesn't validate my existence. let everything flow naturally.
- jul
- (3/7) i need to dream again. i've lost that, i've lost part of myself
- (6/7) one defining conversation. let beauty flood right back in. let the innocence of love fill me up. let light overcome the darkness within my soul.
jan 24 2010 ∞
jul 8 2010 +