I am the one they come to here when they need things, want things, fear things. In another time and another place, they would call me a queen. I built this from nothing. And none of it is real. […] Because it is built upon things I cannot control, cannot predict. It is built on sand. And when the day comes when that foundation shifts, when civilization returns, do you know what they will call me then? The whore that lost everything.

Well, one day you're there, and then all of a sudden, there's less of you. And you wonder where that... part went; if it's living somewhere outside of you. And you keep thinking maybe you'll get it back. And then you realize, it's just gone.

"I'm Abel," said Cain.

• abel | he/him | mid 20s | brazilian | college dropout lol

This weird thing happens, too, you have this minute where you're watching the fire and you're thinking, If I don't do anything. this place will burn down, and all my anxiety will go away with it.

And then you put the fire out.

Then you put the fire out.

Look. We all make our choices. And those choices... they put us on a road. Sometimes those choices seem small, but they put you on the road. You think about getting off. But eventually you're back on it. And the road we're on led us out to the desert and everything that happened there and straight back to where we are right now. And nothing... nothing can be done about that. Do you understand that?