Things I do when I get home (5 PM):

• Put dinner on
• Change (mostly just remove bra and socks, and switch to pajama pants)
• Take contacts out
• Wipe makeup off with Neutrogena Eye Makeup Remover, rinse face, put on Clean and Clear salicylic acid toner if necessary, otherwise just put on moisturizer
• Grab now-done dinner from kitchen
• Do eyebrows (once a week)
• Veg out in bed, eating and watching police/crime/detective dramas on Hulu all night

Things I do before bed (9 PM):

• Brush teeth
• Make sure alarm is set

Things I do in the morning:

• Check time (6:00-6:15 AM)
• Grab towel, face wash and scrubby, and toothpaste and toothbrush
• Get in shower:
• Take braid out
• Brush teeth and wet hair under shower stream simultaneously (Crest whitening on sale; the answer is always Crest)
• Shampoo (switching between the two I'm trying to use up: a mid-range Pantene two-in-one smoothing shampoo and an inexpensive V05 cleansing kiwi-cucumber one I honestly like better)
• Scrubby face wash (Neutrogena 10% benzoyl peroxide one)
• Shave (inexpensive St. Ives cocoa butter body wash, which will run out soon, but Jake's aunt gave me more than I need now; usually only legs once a week, occasionally pubes, almost never armpits)
• Wring out hair and put bobby pin in to clip bangs out of the way
• Get out of shower in towel (6:30-6:45 AM)
• Put contacts in with clean hands as quickly as possible
• Moisturize before skin dries out from shower
• While moisturizer dries:
• Put bra and underwear on
• Eyelash curler (using ancient rusty Revlon one that barely functions), and
• Eyebrows (using a light brown eyeshadow from the excellent Wet N Wild Comfort Zone palette -- Wet N Wild is one of my go-to drugstore makeup brands (eyeshadow and nail polish), along with Neutrogena (foundation and concealer)and Rimmel (eye and lip color)) with an ancient watercolor paintbrush (sorry; at least I wash the thing obsessively)
• Put Neutrogena foundation on with fingers
• Press ELF HD powder on with provided powder puff
• Get dressed the rest of the way (tank top or button down, cardigan or V-neck sweater, work pants, socks, shoes)
• Grab purse and keys + leave house (7:00-7:15 AM)
• Upon arrival at work parking lot: (7:15-7:30 AM)
• Tightline upper waterline (Smashbox felt tip liquid liner in black)
• Mascara upper lashes several coats (Maybelline The Falsies Volum' Express)
• Lip balm for the terribly drying air con (Burt's Bees pomegranate tinted lip balm)
• Put work ID on belt loop
• At my desk:
• Coffee
• Comb out almost-dry hair with medium-tooth plastic comb
• Cut split ends with nail clippers (if I see any) (yeah I know that's ew)
• Braid