Must have, in this order:

• Really reliable, fast internet.
• Clean, nice-smelling, and reasonably quiet.
• Reasonable water pressure and water heating.
• Stove, oven, hood, refrigerator.
• Shower.
• Plenty of windows / ventilation, esp in the shower.
• Cell phone reception.
• Near UCSD bus route and safe, esp at night.

Preferably:

• Plenty of natural / artificial lighting.
• Sinks of reasonable depth and faucets of reasonable height.
• Reasonable counter, closet, and cabinet space.
• The bathroom away from everyone so I can poop and pee in peace.
• An in-sink-erator thing in the kitchen sink.
• Plenty of outlets.
• Washing machine.
• Utilities: Gas, electric, cable, heat, air conditioning.
• Near food, particularly groceries.
• Access to pool / gym / other amenities.
• Has greenery, like a porch / balcony / garden / small patch of grass, or near a park.
• Near the dumpster.

Bedroom:

• Bed frame / mattress base.
• Mattress.
• Sheets of appropriate size.
• Desk / table and chair.

Bathroom:

• Bath rug.
• Shower curtain.

Kitchen and common area:

• Dish rack with a drain tray.
• Garbage can and recycling can, maybe Costco boxes.
• Microwave?
• Couch / squishy chairs?
• Table and chairs?