i don't know the exact date i started to stream stray kids content, but i know it was mid-april/may 2023. the first video i watched was skz family. then i proceeded to watch the survival show, and finding skz. then it all went downhill (lol). as much as i try to explain why i like them, and there's truth to all the reasonings, i think i should stop seeking a reason for everything. it simply happened, clicked.

june 2 marks one year of 5-STAR release. i remember traveling back home and going to my colleague's house so we could see it together. it was weird. because it's not common to me watch a comeback as soon as its released, nor having someone to share my interests with. we watched the mv, listened to the album. i think that day is one of my most vivid memories. it sorta looked like a liminal space but not as uncomfortable as i usually feel whenever i see one. actually, i remember every time i'd go to her house and she would show me their content. it looks like #536878 to #c2b280 bottom to top, arum-lilies, light academia. somewhere along these lines. sorry, off-track.

it was definitely weird to follow their schedule at the time. and, i don't know, 5-STAR and ROCK-STAR didn't seem like eras when all of them were 100% so it made me feel bad for watching them. i really should stop looking too far into things. it's not like i sulk over not being there in their past eras (especially noeasy and maxident), i think everything happens in according time for a reason. i just don't think stray kids is a group that i primarily follow because of their concepts or comebacks in general. i like their personality, group chemistry and bond, the songs. 4th generation media play is off-putting, i really don't like it. still, i am happy whenever they achieve something big. they're great.

oh, it's one year denying being a stay too. (you might look at my fandom list and be surprised, but my listography is an exception. it's the only social media that allows me to be a loner). i don't feel comfortable around stays, can't explain why. i interact with my colleague and that's enough. i don't know if it's because i never had somebody to share or rant about my interests, but i don't know. i wasn't made for fandom life in general. my fandom consists of me and my favorite artists trapped in a bubble around my room. and i feel very content like that, thank you very much. off-track. my denial also comes from the fact that i think it's too early to call myself a fan... how does it feel being 20 and feeling like you're 60 or something. i think like old hags. don't perceive me.

i think that's all i wanted to share right now. completely off the mark but today i was like "it's someone's birthday..." and it was exo suho. and i laugh everytime i remember EXO SARANGHAJA! exo-ls, don't be mad at me, but it's a catchphrase my brain shouts whenever i want to laugh off feeling dismotivated. i'm actually quite happy i endured one year following skz so my brain screams EXO SARANGHAJA nonstop with a pen&pixel skz edit on the background that looks like you made it on blingee. for more years to come, i guess?!?!?!