- no one even saw.
- he kept shoving me back.
- and i felt like i was just falling more invisible as everyone ignored it
- every bad name in the book was shouted at me.
- and from the audience, still nothing.
- i looked in a panic to make eye contact with anyone but it was as if they didn't want eyes to meet.
- i wanted to sink into the floor.
- down down
- i later went to the bathroom, alone.
- i curled up in the corner and cried.
- and cried and cried.
- i left the bathroom to where i found him standing with another girl.
- i got jealous and walked to another room alone.
- i then heard his voice echoing through the halls saying how annoying i was, and how much he disliked me.
- emptiness filled me.
- later i followed him to his car.
- i asked for a ride home since all of my friends were too gone to drive
- he said "one rule: no talking the entire way."
- i sat there up high in his pick up truck.
- i knew he was quite intoxicated. but if it were anyone i wanted to die with, itd be him.
- the one who hurt me.
- it was snowing too.
- once we got to my street his truck slid down the road.
- for once i wasn't scared. unlike all the other times i was scared of his unsafe truck.
- the truck swerved the other way and i felt my stomach flip
- he said "woah that was close did you see that?"
- no shit.
- i didnt respond.
- "okay don't respond to our near death experience"
- "you told me not to speak."
- we got to my house and before i opened the door i turned to him and looked him in the eyes.
- all i saw was anger hidden.
- i thought about earlier when he had said to me, "whenever im having a good time, you ruin it. you ruin everything."
- i ruin everything.
- "thank you"
- "no problem"
- before i could reach for the handle he pulled me back
- he hugged me tightly
- something i couldnt fight back
- i was so weak to have put up with all this shit
- but it felt so nice
- i left in hopes that he returned home safe.
- i went to bed with my cat.
- and suddenly i got a text
- "safe." from him.
- i responded with "good."
- and that was it.
feb 12 2012 ∞
feb 12 2012 +