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some day, the cold rain
will become warm tears
and fall down, it’s alright
it’s just a passing downpour.

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— ❝Right, I’m living because I can’t die but I don’t have anything I want to do. I’m in so much pain and loneliness but people around me keeping telling me to regain my consciousness. I try to vent my anger but I only got myself so what’s the point of venting my anger. I’m scared to open my eyes everyday and start breathing. Even my friends and family are drifting away, I feel anxious as time passes by. It feels like I’m all by myself, I hope everything disappears when I’m alone. I hope things disappear like mirage, I hope things disappear, I hope my damn self disappears. I’m abandoned like this in the world, in this moment I’m drifting away from the sky. I’m falling.❞ so far away, agust d

— ❝Pretending not to be lonely, pretending not to be in pain. Pointlessly pretending to be okay, pointlessly pretending to be strong. Don’t climb over the wall I’ve built in front of me. I’m the island in this vast ocean, don’t abandon me.❞ 140503 at dawn, agust d

— ❝Maybe I, I can never fly, I can’t fly like the flower petals over there. Or as though I have wings, maybe I, I can’t touch the sky. Still, I want to stretch my hand out; I want to run, just a bit more. I’m just walking and walking, among this darkness. My happy times asked me this question: 'you, are you really okay', it asked me. 'Oh no', I replied, 'no, I’m so afraid'. Still, I hold the 6 flowers tightly in my hands.❞ bangtan, awake

— ❝Even if I glue my eyes shut, I can't sleep. My bed feels uncomfortable maybe it’s anxiety. I'm so far behind compared to others; the only thing that comforts me when I open my eyes in the morning I’m holding onto my smart phone, I hold out my hand but everyone has so many things in their hands that there’s no more hands left to hold out. my mom’s finger that is wrapped around tight until it becomes a cane. It’ll be hard, but what can I do? I have to keep living; sometimes when I wake up I wanna go back to when I was young, when I can’t gather up any strength. I need to overcome.❞ ilhoon, everything's good

— ❝Stands my weak self, it’s quite dangerous. Depression, OCD, they keep coming back again from time to time. Hell no, perhaps that might be my true self; damn huh feeling estranged in reality the conflict with ideal, my head hurts. Around the age of 18, socio-phobia developed in me; right, that was when my mind was gradually polluted. At times I’m scared of myself too, self hated and thanks to the depression that takes over me. I don’t understand myself well either, then who would understand? Friend? Or you? Nobody knows me well. The doctor asks me, I answered without any hesitation that I have done; habitual saying that "I don’t give a shit I don’t give a fuck" all those words are said to hide my weak self.❞ agust d, the last

— ❝I've had enough; there's a voice in my head, says I'm better off dead; but if I sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song I'll be alright. every now and again we get the feeling and the great big void inside us opens up. And I really wish that you could help, but my head is like a carousel and I'm going round in circles, going round in circle.❞ bmth, happy song

— ❝Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper and I can't take; it comes in waves, I close my eyes hold my breath and let it bury me I'm not okay and it's not all right. Save me from myself, don't let me drown.❞ bmth, drown

— ❝Cut me open and tell me what's inside, diagnose me cause I can’t keep wondering why and no it's not a phase cause it happens all the time; start over, check again, now tell me what you find cause I'm going out of frequency. Can anyone respond? It's like an avalanche; I feel myself go under, cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck; I never stood a chance, my heart is frozen over and I feel like I am treading on thin ice. Am I broken? What's the chance I will survive? Don't sugarcoat me, cause I feel like suicide; just give it to me straight cause I'm running out of time, I need an antidote now.❞ bmth, avalanche

— ❝And then I found out how hard it is to really change. Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in. I just wanted the numb inside me to leave. No matter how fucked you get, it's always there when you come back down. The funny thing is, all I ever wanted, I already had; there's glimpses of heaven in every day❞ bmth, hospital for souls

— ❝It’s like this every day in this big world, I know I’m like a particle of dust; Nothing is easy in this exit-less, maze-like world. Happiness is only a word, It’s just a dream that everyone wants but that doesn’t make sense. I don’t even wanna believe that; everything that makes me breathe, I want it to be simple. Until it goes far far away, until I can’t see; I call you baby, baby’s called my happiness. I just want it simple.❞ seventeen, simple

— ❝(...)And he can't understand these feelings. Why life is getting him down he used to smile now he frowns and cries inside; its been this way for a while and he can't seem to put things right; when life has been unkind and you're losing your mind, look in the mirror afraid of what you'll find, it feels like time's not on your side.❞ mcfly, the ballad of paul k

— ❝It's been so long now you've forgotten how to smile. and overhead the skies are clear but it still seems to rain on you, and your only friends all have better things to do. When your down and lost and you need a helping hand, when your down and lost along the way Just try a little harder, try your best to make it through the day. Just tell yourself "I'll be ok".❞ mcfly, i'll be ok

— ❝I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard; handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars. I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel; I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident 'cause you don't understand I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense; I am what you never want to say, but I've never had a doubt.❞ linkin park, faint

— ❝Hello, I’m just here. Why do you always expect something? I know you’re lonely too. Discomfort and a sense of belonging, I’m right in the middle but we only give and take lies, what a pity. I want to be me too, but I’m not that kind of person. I was weak and I fell, so I left myself behind; it’s been too long so don’t look for me anymore. Did I get lonely because I didn’t know how to love myself? Can’t the decisions I make on my own be the answer? Can’t I take the place of all the ones who are cast aside? When the time comes, will I be able to share my heart? When the lonely night comes again, again, your mood gets dirty and it tortures you, again, you block your own happiness; You keep looking for your medicine, but if you don’t stop, the music won’t stop either; your heart is still on a call.❞ woo wonjae, again

aug 19 2020 ∞
aug 19 2020 +