Today, I walked out onto my front deck, and without noticing that the mailman was stopped in front of my house, I yelled "But where has all the rum gone?!". I was slightly embarrassed until he cackled, yelled "I'LL NEVER TELL!", and sped off in his mail truck. MLIA

Today before going into the grocery store, I jokingly said "spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch" to make sure I had everything I needed. My husband said "you don't have a watch." A few seconds later, he said "or testicles." MLIA

Today, I was playing a card game with a 7 year old French girl (I'm an au pair) and trying to teach her the names of some of the animals in English. When preseted with a peacock, she thought hard for a moment and then triumphantly shouted "PENIS!". I had to leave the room to control myself. MLIA

Today I got on an elevator with one of my professors and several other guys. I'm a little overweight and so one of the guys in the group made a comment about too much weight on the elevator. While I was preparing to cry, my 65 yr old professor turned around and said: "Actually, the problem for the elevator is you, because you are a humongous bag of shit." Chivalry lives on? I think so. MLIA