- Never use “We were on a break!” as an excuse.
- Remember it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a big deal.
- Everybody has a Lobster.
- Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank.
- For space in bed, use the “Hug & Roll” technique.
- Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends.
- You can do a lot with just cups and ice.
- Always say the right name at the alter.
- Powder & lotion will not help remove hot & sticky leather trousers.
- “Man Bags” aren’t manly.
- Don’t count “Mississippily” while in a spray tanning booth.
- “How you doin’?” never fails.
- If stung by a jellyfish, pee on it.
- Never let a monkey near a TV remote.
- Only in prison do they “cup” whilst measuring pants.
- It’s not Smelly Cat's fault.
- Always read make-up letters all the way through, even if they are 18 pages long and FRONT TO BACK.
- You should leave your synth keyboard in the 80s where it belongs.
- A nap with your best friend could be the best nap you ever had.
- Never let it slip to a child that they are in fact adopted.
- Meat is not an ingredient in trifle.
- There’s no such thing as “shark porn”.
- Your first name is not your “family name”.
- Throwing your own wake is not a good way to meet women.
- A “Day Of Fun” is a good way to get to know someone.
- Everyone has an identical hand twin.
- Eating too much meat can cause “Meat Sweats”.
- It’s never too late to resurrect The Routine, just don’t change it.
- Regina Falange and Ken Adams make great false names.
- It’s possible to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds.
- When moving a couch upstairs, pivot.
- A silent auction is not a contest to guess the right price.
- Always double check your measurements when making an entertainemnt unit.
- Playing too much on arcade machines can lead to getting The Claw.
- Ugly, naked, and guy do not make for an attractive combination.
- Never pose for a VD poster campaign.
- “Pheebs” is short for Phoebe, it’s not just what we call our friends.
- Never let a duck & a chick near a foosball table.
- Wooden spoons & trucks make great massaging tools.
- Never put your head in a turkey.
- Taping oven mitts to your hands will prevent you from scratching chicken-pox.
- Never bet your apartment in a game of “Who Knows Who”.
- Don’t leave teeth whitening gel on for longer than recommended.
- W.E.N.U.S. stands for. . . Uhmmm . . . ?
- Everyone is entitled to a “Freebie” list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with if the oppurtunity arises.
- There are 7 basic erogenous zones. Start out with a little A 1, 2, a 1, 2, 3, a 3, 4, 5, a 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7……. SEVEN!
nov 9 2009 ∞
aug 28 2020 +