a. i was stupid and naive and you had enough power to break me into pieces so i didn’t hesitate in doing all of the shit you wanted. some nights i hear your voice calling me your little slave or asking me to shove up things up my body and god how much does that still fuck me up, every time I get touched i feel your fingerprints burning through my skin

b. you were the first girl i ever loved and life was butterflies and rainbows around you. one time you called me to spread out the news of the happiness your new boyfriend gave you so i had my first panic attack and my heart pumped thirty times faster. i loved the way you misspelled words and your silly laugh, you’ll never know how much you truly meant to me

c. you were fun and my best friend’s girlfriend. i envied the way her lips were always bitten by you. i craved you the way a spoiled child craved a toy at his favorite store; new and exclusively for him. we were nothing alike but you showed me a good time (only) when you gave up on her and then i gave up on you. even though we were both foolish i was glad we drank up more vodka than water during those five months if not it could’ve never lasted. not to lie, drunk kisses may be the only ones i like

d. you are a shy little darling and every word ever you ever said was a beautiful melody floating around my ears. you are so passionate and talented there should already be statues in temples to prove to others that some angels do still exist. perhaps i loved you too much or it wasn’t enough. my mind is still trying to process the thought that i might have lost you

29 Dec 2013