I have found:

• N/A

I am looking for:

• Richard Castle
• Lanie Parish
• Javier Esposito
• Kevin Ryan
• Alexis Castle
• Martha Rodgers
• Jim Beckett
• Captain Victoria Gates
• Captain Roy Montgomery

About Me:

My life very closely resembled that of the show. The only difference being that things progressed a lot slower. The conspiracy surrounding my mothers' murder and the cover-up and corruption within the NYPD. And it took a lot longer for Castle and me to get together. It was... a long road to being happy.

I took a lot more time after I was shot avoiding Castles' advances and letting the fear of the sniper send me into a downward spiral than the show portrayed. I was hardly eating, I couldn't focus, I slept in my bathtub with a Glock in my lap for weeks. Nobody could reach me. Not Lanie, not Castle, not my father; Esposito cornering me and making me face the rifle that shot me took weeks. I was ferally terror-stricken over what happened to me and inable to deal with the PTSD. I already had to deal with the loss of my mother and now I had to deal with this and I just shut down. Javi knew he couldn't be gentle about it, the only way to get through to me at that point was to back me into a corner and make me face it. He was the only one willing to twist the knife in deep enough to set me free.

I was damaged goods and he helped me make that a strength.

Telling Castle I loved him was a lot bigger of a deal as well. By the time I'd told him he had told me no less than a handful of times (most of which were while I was dying). The one time I nearly died and he wasn't there changed everything and I realized how much I needed him and how much he meant to me.

Gates was also a lot more accepting of our relationship. She turned a blind eye for a long while. She loved the 12th precinct like it was her child and she was so proud to see me become Captain in her stead... Castle's family loved me too, so much, and they took my father in too. It was so wonderful and I had been missing a family for so long... It felt like coming home.

The show didn't cover much of it but I loved our children more than anything. We had such a wonderful life and watching them grow up was everything I'd ever wanted. Once I was able to nail Bracken for my mothers' murder and track down everyone that had ever been a part of it, I could move on. And when Castle came home to me after disappearing with his father, he could move on too.

And my writer and I lived a long happy life together with our little ones and his wonderful daughter Alexis when the dust had finally settled.