- My perspective had narrowed, as if I were looking down the hallway through a viewfinder. The fluorescent lights flickered, and the walls tightened claustrophobically around me. As the walls caved in, the ceiling stretched sky-high until I felt as if I were in a cathedral. I put a hand to my chest to quell my racing heart and told myself to breathe. I wasn't frightened; it felt more like the sterile rush of looking down from the window of a hundred-story skyscraper, knowing you won't fall.
- cold roses
- impressed with my chutzpah
- bewildered by my own ineptitude
- she laughed, revealing a few charmingly crooked incisor teeth
- walked through the tourist clusterfuck that is Times Square
- hearing the worry in their voices made me start to rethink my laissez-faire attitude
- accosted by the billboards' garish colors
- enervating
- histrionic
- her frenetic energy was palpable
- lobbing question after question at Stephen about the night at the hospital
- he was animated with his closest loved ones, gesticulating wildly with his hands and laughing a contagious guffaw; with outsiders, he could be quiet and aloof, to the point of seeming rude.
- the normally muted green of the couch grew noxiously garish
- the ruse
- we had exited the Holland Tunnel and were entering Chinatown, with its sidewalk fish, swarms of tourists, and fake designer bag salesmen. The whole sordid scene disgusted me.
- barbarously nudged an elderly lady out of the way
- flight risk
- thrashing my arms as my mother caressed my hands, trying ineffectually to calm me
- I was acting even more mercurial than in recent days
- my tantrum receded
- "labile," meaning prone to mood swings, and "tangential," meaning that I skipped from topic to topic without clear transitions
- Capgras syndrome
- answered caustically
- postictal fury
- remained disengaged, bottling up his anguish the way he always had
- exhortations
- invocations
- wringing her hands, a nervous habit
- death with interruptions - jose saramago
- all the names - jose saramago
- apoplectic
- catatonic
- agnostic
- persona non grata
- rhubarb
- emotions that I once felt so profoundly, so viscerally
- I struggled to conjure the loquaciousness that had once been a primary aspect of my personality, but in its place found a deep blankness
- summon up breezy conversations
- holding tightly on to an amorphous grudge against her for reasons that seem so meritless now
- blur, residual anger from that time remained somewhere in my subconscious
- childlike and prosaic
- umbral
- nebulous recollections
- dour
- with those conflicting feelings percolating in my mind
- posits
- chasm
- placebo
- piles of gluttonously rich, fat-encrusted French fries
- I like to believe what Friedrich Nietzsche said: "The existence of forgetting has never been proved: we only know that some things do not come to our mind when we want them to."
- somewhere in the recesses of my mind, waiting for the proper cues to be called back up
nov 12 2013 ∞
jan 8 2016 +
jan 8 2016 +