• incredibly long crosscountry train ride AU
• police procedural AU
• bookstore AU
• reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
• platonic living together AU
• lawyers AU
• stuck-in-an-airport-becauco'
• i'm pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u' AU
• college professors AU
• on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU
• met at a ren faire AU
• sat next to each other on a roller coaster AU
• got locked out of dorm room AU
• camping in the same area AU
• hurricane during a beach trip AU
• met at a card game competition AU
• kids go to the same school AU
• little kids getting way too caught up in make-believe AU
• got involved in a heated game of Smash Bros. at a con AU
• cosplayed as the same character AU
• snowed in AU
• lives alone in the woods by a waterfall and finds a confused lost person walking around AU
• fighting a squirrel AU
• finding a puppy on the side of the road AU
• asthma attack without the inhaler in the middle of the night and the other one sings to calm them down AU
• spy AU
• con artists AU
• grew up as best friends but you got hot over the summer can i touch ur biceps AU
• war prisoner/captor who lets them go but they want to stay AU
• scared of flying AU
• x-men with powers of fire and ice AU
• your dog likes my dog you should date me or something idk i mean it’s only appropriate AU
• photographier/actor AU
• repairman AU
• strip club AU
• surfer AU
• private security AU
• Modern royalty AUs
• Accidentally read their diary AUs
• Egyptologists AUs
• Rockstar and groupie AUs
• Book club AUs
• Met at comic con AUs
• Lifeguard AUs
• 1920s con artists AUs
• Running from the police AUs
• Librarian AUs
• Rebels against the government AUs
• Internet friends AUs
• Time traveling AUs
• Struggling artists AUs
• found their phone number in a library book au
• hitchhiker ride au
• met through online rpg au
• disneyworld cosplayers au
• accidentally taking each other’s bags au
• camp counselors au
• antiques shop au
• called the wrong number while drunk au
• sex shop au
• found your their dog au
• crashed the their car au
• yoga class au
• public demonstration au
• accidentally picked the wrong seats in an airplane/theater au? 
• hugged the wrong person from behind au? 
• wrong person waved back au???
• TOOK THE WRONG COFFEE ORDER AU
• THE MAILMAN DELIVERED A WEIRD PACKAGE (sEX TOYSSS) TO THE WRON GHOUSE AU
• WALKING INTO THE WRONG DORM ROOM AU
• SAT DOWN IN THE WRONG CLASS AU
• CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER AU
• GOT INTO/WAVED AT THE WRONG CAR AU
• "we wore matching halloween costumes to this party" au
• "we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
• "tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help me out" au
• "we’re the only ones on campus who didn’t go home for christmas" au
• "we both got in separate bar fights downtown and now we’re waiting in the ER comparing stories" au
• "accidentally fell in your lap while standing on this crowded bus" au
• "can u help me sneak my cat into my dorm" au
• "accidentally got assigned the same library study room so I guess we’ll have to share for the semester" au
• "It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus" au
• "I rented the apartment above your flower shop and in the last two months you’ve gotten a new flower I’m allergic to so I keep buying bouquets until I can figure out which kind it is" au
• met at a charity kissing booth au
• sex shop employee and slightly flustered customer au
• highschool party au with spin the bottle
• neighbors au where person A goes over to person B to tell B to ‘stop singing karaoke it’s 2am’
• met in a line for a roller-coaster au (bonus: one of them is scared shitless)
• 'you were the only one at the party who understood my movie reference' au
• lifeguard/swimmer or lifeguards au
• tattoo artist w/ an incredibly nervous costumer au
• the ‘camp counselors at the same sleep away camp’ au
• the ‘my new fbi partner/consultant is really hot’ au
• the ‘we have to sing a duet together but i hate you’ au
• the ‘i should not be this attracted to the new intern’ au
• the ‘you accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment’ au
• the ‘my new best friend’s sibling is so hot’ au
• the ‘forced lab partners’ au
• the ‘you just joined the -sports team here- that i’m the captain of’ au
• the ‘we both tried to grab the last copy of that book in the shop’ au
• the ‘we went to a con/party dressed as a couple on accident’ au
• the ‘my roommate’s best friend is really obnoxious but also hot’ au
• the ‘we’re the only ones in this subway car and the metro broke down’ au
• the ‘new bartender at my favorite bar is unfairly attractive’ au
• Deep conversations and wow i wonder what you look like under that scary mask AU
• Everyone thinks we came to this party as a couple because our costumes match what’s your name AU
• Babe i know it’s halloween but we have to take my little brother/sister trick or treating before we can go out AU
• Working together in a haunted house AU
• You’re dressed as a sexy cop and oh god please arrest me AU
• FUCK! YOU SCARED ME i’m so gonna get you back for that AU
• Carving pumpkins AU
• Working at a halloween store together wow try on his costume for me?? AU
• Dare you to walk through this haunted cemetery with me AU
• Ouija board thinks we should fuck AU
• Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?? AU
• This haunted house is terrifying please hold me AU
• street performers AU
• got a crush on the hairdresser and now my hair is slowly getting really short AU
• we’ve been dating for three months and you’re only now telling me you’re a werewolf AU
• ended up adopting like three dogs because that pet shelter employee is really hot AU
• accidentally called a sex line AU
• we reached for the last box of chicken nuggets in the supermarket at the same time and there’s no way I’m letting you have it asshole AU
• met at a con where we accidentally cosplayed the fandom otp PLOT TWIST it’s our notp but god damn I wouldn’t mind making out with you AU
• wore the same obscure fandom shirt in public AU
• I was singing in public and you decided to join in and now we’re singing a dramatic duet together also what’s your number AU
• i keep callling tech support because you’re helpful and also your voice is really cute au
• rival ice cream trucks au
• you helped me get my kayak upright so we’re friends forever au
• competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
• pen pals who vent at each other every week au
• newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au
• working at a theatre together during the midnight premiere of a blockbuster au
• I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
• vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
• my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  • Riku/Sora 10/11 (or some version of it)
• it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
• hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
• hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
• I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
• all our friends are drunk
• it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
• we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
• humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
• we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
• GROUP PROJECT
• both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be
• waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late
• you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole
• we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window
• you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking (little-smartass)
• Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
• This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
• I found your USB drive still in the computer
• I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
• You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
• We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
• We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
• You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
• Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
• You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
• You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
• What are you doing at this table at the career fair
• Waiting for office hours
• I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
• Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
• You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
• We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
• You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
• my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
• we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
• Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
• Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
• Your school mailbox is right next to mine
• I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
• My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
• You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
• My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
• we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
• You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
• What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?
• its 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
• you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking
• I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking
• my shower isn’t working can I use yours
• RA mandated floor party
• I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab
• dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room
• hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just gonna disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise
• THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED
• 'i got caught staring at my adult neighbour raking up a bunch of leaves in their backyard and jumping into them and now have to awkwardly pretend i saw nothing' au
• met at a pumpkin patch fighting over the same perfectly round and picturesque pumpkin au
• 'me and my roommate decided to decorate our house for halloween but got really into it, and ended up re-enacting several scenes from nightmare on elm street so loud the neighbours called the police to investigate screams' au
• 'i ordered a pumpkin spice latte at starbucks and you made a heart with the foam and i decided to drink it here so i can smile at you some more' au
• 'this stranger on the street corner looks like they're severely unprepared for this cold weather, here, take my scarf, i was planning on donating it to goodwill anyways' au
• 'i was unaware that there was an organized zombie crawl going on and i didn't realize you were in a costume and i screamed in your face because i truly thought i was facing a zombie invasion' au
• "please for the love of god help you’re the only one here who speaks English" AU
• "i go to this restaurant every week and sit at the same table and suddenly you’re my new server" AU
• "i’ve been breaking my phone on purpose just because you work at the help desk" AU
• "i saw you taking selfies and i wondered if i could take one with you" AU
• "i’m the sarcastic techie who got dragged into running your stupid presentation" AU
• "we somehow ended up in charge of senior prank" AU
• "i’ve walked into your classroom four times by mistake can you please help me learn my way around this stupid school" AU
• "your music’s way too loud bUT THAT’S MY FAVORITE SONG" AU
• "bored single parents at a OneDirection concert" AU
• "mutual drunk friend called BOTH of us to pick them up from a party well this is awkward" AU
• "for the last time we do not sell hydrochloric acid I’M CALLING THE COPS" AU
• "your email address is one letter different from my friend’s so i keep emailing you by mistake" AU
• "you accidentally added me to this group chat and i don’t know how to take myself off" AU
• "i’m at a climbing gym and i need someone to belay me and hey you look about the right size" AU
• "good old fashioned pawn shop waffle iron bidding war" AU
• "Netflix support" AU
• "rival sandwich shops" AU
• "met at a panel at a convention" AU
• "we work at the same office and never really interacted but suddenly we’ve been taken hostage" AU
• "i thought someone was breaking into my apartment but it turns out you just forgot your key and thought this was your place" AU
• "you think i always forget pencils in this class but actually i just want to talk to you and now have a little over 200 pencils at home" AU
• "STOP BEATING ME AT THIS STUPID MMO" AU
• "actor at a haunted house/person who punches the actor in the face" AU
• "somehow we’re both closeted fans of the same stupid thing" AU
• "hate each other but got thrown in the same group during a team building exercise" AU
• "oh, these are your Birkenstocks?” AU
• "i know i stole your headphones but believe me I REALLY NEED THEM" AU
• "i need to knit my friend a present so can you maybe teach me how to knit" AU
• "does anyone here have an iPhone 5 charger? ANYONE?" AU
• "you’re my gardener and i hired you to plant some roses but would you like to stay and plant some sunflowers and stay and have some dinner" AU
• "is that REALLY what you want us to write on your custom-order cake?" AU
• "our stage got flooded, can we borrow your theater?" AU
• "at a concert and you kinda saved me from being trampled" AU
• "we work at opposite ends of a library but we have this book swap thing going on and somehow we started leaving notes in the books" AU
• "can i borrow your blanket? i need to cry." AU
• "OMG, you speak Klingon too?!" AU
• "THAT IS NOT HOW YOU HOLD A CHILD" AU
• "hang on a second, that’s my car you’re towing!" AU
• "singing along to the same radio station in separate cars with the windows open" AU
• “My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.”
• “I was imitating a fight scene off this anime I watched and accidentally hit you in the face.”
• “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry.”
• “I needed a drink of water after my shower but I forgot that I opened the blinds to my balcony and you just saw me walk into my kitchen naked.”
• “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
• “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
• “You have just witnessed me cry over the ending to my favorite game before class began please don’t ever tell anyone about this.”
• “I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting.”
• “I sent a selfie of myself in the tub to the wrong number and you responded back with another selfie. Holy shit you’re really attractive.”
• “You’re headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so I know you’re listening to educational children’s cartoon theme songs.”
• “You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you’re wondering how I can read this with a blank face.”
• “You accidently broke my arm when you fell from a tree and landed on top of me.”
• “I got my ass handed to me in SSB4 by this little kid and you were there to witness it.”
• “I’ve never talked to you before but the teacher just used us as an example for a scenario where we are married.”
• “Hello we are full grown adults fighting over this last balloon that’s shaped like a cats head.”
• “I’m running late to school and you just hit me with your motorcycle cause you’re also late and no I don’t want to go to the hospital instead because I cannot miss this test just please give me a ride instead?”
• “Please don’t tell anyone that I carry a stuffed animal around with me and even talk to it.”
• “Hello I’m your boss and you’re the new employee who just saw me shove an entire cupcake into my mouth.”
• “I’m watching The Lion King on my phone and I’m trying to hide the fact I’m sobbing uncontrollably but you notice anyway.”
• “I was trying to ask for directions and you accidentally pepper sprayed me cause you thought I was your stalker.”
• “Hey you called this number at like 3AM and we talked about some pretty heavy shit do you remember any of that?”
• i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up au
• we have the same luggage and didn’t check the tags before we left so i’m calling you to exchange suitcases (and you also had some interesting things in your bag so i’m excited to meet you) au
• author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au
• bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person on our plane that we’re both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about au
• you fell asleep and i started making funny faces at your kid to keep them amused and the steward mistook us for a couple au
• actually, any mistaken for a couple au
• i’m afraid of flying and you were incredibly helpful and tolerant and sweet about it au
• i made a horrible first impression at the gate or in line for airport food but now we’re sitting next to each other au
• Letter found in an old notebook AU
• Road trip across the country and accidentally crossing paths AU
• Work at the same shitty restaurant and have all the same shitty shift times AU
• Record store AU
• basically just like a coffee shop AU but with music
• Always getting the same cashier when checking out at Target no matter what day it is AU
• 1950’s diner AU
• GREASER/SOCS AU OH MY GOD
• 'What the fuck are you doing it's midnight why are you playing 'My Heart Will Go On' on the piano' AU
• Alternatively, ‘I’m going to lean out the window and sing along until you fucking stop and wonder who else is singing’ AU
• Youtubers AU
• Found the phone number of an old childhood friend in some box at the back of you closet and decided to call it to see if it still worked AU
• 'I live in the apartment below yours and I keep getting your mail this needs to stop dammit' AU
• Going up to the mountains for Christmas and getting stuck at the ski resort bc of bad weather AU
• ENGLISH LOVE AFFAIR AU
• Going to the fair and rocking the Ferris wheel seat so the person sitting next to you clings to you like a lifeline AU
• 'Maybe if we met before the apocalypse I could have loved you properly.' AU
• Walked into the wrong classroom and didn’t realise until halfway through AU
• Hugged to wrong person from behind AU
• Waved back at someone who wasn’t waving to you in the first place AU
• Model who looks and acts really professional at the photo shoot but is actually a huge nerd AU
• 'Your cat keeps getting into my house and I don't even know how would you care to explain' AU
• 'I forgot to do my homework so I'm just going to copy off of you and hope that you didn't get the answers wrong' AU
• Stole a car with someone sleeping in the back seat [Turns out that the car had already been stolen so basically you just stole a stolen car] AU
• "I tried to rescue you from being mugged but instead I got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after having your wallet stolen" au
• “Yeah yeah I’m the person who tripped and fell on their face to get to the podium on stage for the welcome speech at freshman orientation” au
• “You crashed into me on your bicycle but I’m actually okay, you on the other hand look like you need some first aid” au
• "You live across the courtyard from me and saw me dancing and singing enthusiastically to my collection of 90s pop and Disney tv show music and now you can’t look me in the eye without laughing” au
• "You take my parking spot every few days yes I know they’re not assigned but that one is mine” au
• "You just watched me slip on the ice and wind up sitting in the snowbank beside the parking lot. You’re laughing and now it’s you slipping and your face in the snowbank across from me" au
• "I purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again" au
• "We’re both sick and we both grabbed for the last can of soup at the store" au
• "I broke your nose at a mosh pit" AU
• “I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU
• “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU
• “You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU
• “You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver” AU
• “We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
• “I get really sick on roller-coasters and you had the misfortune of sitting in front of me so, uh… sorry…” AU
• “You’re the bastard who keeps parking right in front of my house so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me” AU
• “I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU
• “You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU
• “My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that” AU
• “You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU
• “This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” AU
• 'i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that's why you're here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger's backyard in the middle of the night' au
• 'i'm an ikea employee and every day for the last week i've had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter' au
• 'i don't know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and i'm actually looking forward to our next meeting bc you're annoying as hell but gdi you're hot as fuck and its kind of fun to argue with you' au
• 'i'm in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the fuck' au
• 'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn't either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us' au
• 'last night was supposed to be a one night stand but we drunkenly got each other's names tattooed on each other's ass cheeks so now its kind of hard to forget you' au
• 'you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don't want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don't want to go to jail and also you're kind of cute we should make out when i'm not clinging onto your window ledge for my life' au
• we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
• we kind of got past the point of ‘taking this game of gay chicken too seriously’ when you took your pants off but I really do not mind at all.
• I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
• a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
• you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
• we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
• did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker
• “wtf you’re not my roommate, how did you get in here? oh sHIT you’re really drunk aND NOW YOU’RE CRYING OKay okay it’s okay shhhh, you can stay here i guess??” au
• “mY CHIPS WOULDN’T COME OUT THE VENDING MACHINE AND I GOT MAD AND TRIED TO GRAB IT BUT NOW MY HAND’S STUCK AND PLS STOP LAUGHING AT ME THIS IS V SERIOUS IM GOIG TO CRy” au
• “yes, i know this is a bar but you’re a rlly hot bartender and i panicked and said “cHOCOLATE MILK” when you asked me what i wanted to drink, now i just want to crawl away and hide forever” au
• “idk you but i also know nothing about camping and ur the only other person i’ve seen here will you help me i think i heard a bear” au
• “thats the third fucking toy you’ve played with and didn’t know how to turn off in my store pls don’t just try to awkwardly walk away i cAN SEE YOU” au
• “i wanted to give you a warm welcome to the neighbourhood by baking you a cake but turns out you’re hella allergic to something i put in and yOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIE HOLY SHIT I FEEL HORRIBLE” au
• “idk you but you fell asleep on my shoulder on the bus and the only reason i’m letting you stay there is bc you look very comfy and i’m a good person - it’s totally not bc you’re also possibly the cutest and most precious human being i have ever seen hahah okay maybe a lil” au
• “i lost my little brother at the grocery store and you found him and now it seems like you two are best friends and he doesn’t wanna lose contact with you so it seems like i’ll have to get your number - at least your hella cute” au
• “your best friend and my best friend think we’d be really cute together and keep trying to set us up i am so sorry” au
• “i forgot my umbrella and you offered to walk me home in the rain and i thought this would be the beginning of a cute love story but you’re really shit at this oh my god my shoulder is so wet, hold the damn thing properly wth man” au
• “hOOOoooOo shit, so you’re the older sibling my best friend always talks about hahah wow tHEY NEVER BOTHERED TELLING ME YOU WERE THIS HOT” au
• “my friend thought you were cute so she tried to take a picture of you for snapchat and her flash went off but when you looked our way she shoved her phone into my hands and nOW YOU THINK IT’S ME AND OH GOD PLS DON’T BE MAD” au
• "i just committed a crime and i need to use you as a hostage i am so sorry" au
• you were my rival in first grade and damn you’ve gotten really hot since then au
• i was shrunk to 4 inches tall by a witch and now i kinda live in your kitchen without you knowing au
• i am actually good at math but the math tutor is really hot so i’m pretending to be dumb au
• two strangers locked inside a grocery store at three am together au
• i’m mute and you’re the lead singer of my favorite band who just pulled me on stage to sing with you au
• who can sell the most cookies contest au
• we’re strangers but i absolutely hate your music taste and i feel the need to tell you this on a crowded subway au
• i’m a fisherman and you’re a mermaid who got tangled in one of my nets au
• i purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again au
• we’re both sick and we both grabbed for the last can of soup at the store au
• tree climbing contest but we both got stuck up on the top branches and now we have to wait for the fire department au
• you’re singing my favorite song but you’re singing it wrong au
• you’re the crazy cat person next door and your cats keep on wandering into my yard au
• i’m a ghost and you’re a ghost hunter au
• you’re my siblings’s best friend and i absolutely hate you but pretend to be my boy/girlfriend to piss off my family au
• you look exactly like the main character in my novel au
• “hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher” au
• “we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not” au
• “im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask” au
• “we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???” au
• “im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???” au
• “i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???” au
• “we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au
• "im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit"au
• “its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au
• “i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party” au

reincarnation aus

• I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life (jk yes I am)
• I’ve met you in every single lifetime and I always hope it will work out but it doesn’t but I’ll still keep finding you again because those few days/months/years together with you are always so worth it
• I meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time I’m meeting you when we’re the same age and I’m horrified that I might fuck this up
• I skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and I know you’re pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn’t my fault please please will you take me back
• We only remember each other in alternating lifetimes so every lifetime we have to find one another and convince each other that we’re soul mates but half the time I won’t believe you and half the time you’re already dating someone else
• I don’t know how to tell you this but the reason you didn’t see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some fucked up reason I was reincarnated as your dog
• We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime
• “Wait right there, don’t move!"
• "That’s a good look for you."
• "Could you repeat that?”
• “Hey, have you seen the…? Oh.”
• "Everything’s going to be fine."
• "This isn’t exactly what I had in mind."
• "Are you flirting with me?”
• “Must be a day ending in y."
• "Stop trying to cheer me up!"
• "You want me to do what?”
• "It’s never too late.”
• “Please stay.”
• “If there’s one thing the world needs more of…”
• “I’ve got one word for you: sing-along!”
• “Are you fucking kidding me?”
• “Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?
• "That is one hell of a mess.”
• “There’s something I’ve been meaning to say…"
• "Come on.”
• “I need this.”
• ”Don’t make it into a big deal.”
• “You forgot to say the magic word.”
• “Where the fuck did that clown come from?”
• “I’ll never unsee that."
• "Can I tell you a secret?”
• “This one’s on me."
• "I’m lost.”
• “Give me a hand.”
• “I think you missed your calling.”
• “we live in different countries and got paired up as pen pals for a project for school” au
• “i crashed your family member’s wedding for the free food but hi there” au
• “i’m a techie, you’re the lead actor in a show” au
• “the person running the rollercoaster is really hot” au
• “sorry that text was meant for someone else but hi there who are you” au
• “we’re in a breakfast club style all day detention” au
• “i don’t want to go alone to my ex’s wedding and our mutual friend said you’re free that night” au
• “i signed up for a dating website to get my mom off my back” au
• “we’re in the same rocky horror troupe” au

“hey asshole quit kicking the back of my seat it’s a 10 hour flight” au

• “your dad is my least favorite teacher” au
• “my significant other cheated on me with you, wanna team up to destroy them?” au
• “i’ve been coming to this club for years but you’re the best performer i’ve ever seen” au
• “i’m rich and i’m not supposed to talk to servants but the person that scrubs my floor is really cute” au
• “i was hitchhiking and you picked me up and WHOOPS YOU’RE A FAMOUS ROCKSTAR” au
• “we met on a reality show” au
• “my family owns the hotel your family is staying in” au
• “someone tripped me in the hallway and you’re the only one that helped me up” au
• “my parents kicked me out and you’re the only person that bothered to ask the crying, obviously lost kid with a suitcase if something was the matter” au
• “you accidentally left your ID in a library book” au
• “i had a one night stand the night before i started a college class and WHOOPS I ACCIDENTALLY BANGED THE PROFESSOR” au
• “i’m on a school trip to another country and one of the locals is seriously hot” au
• “i’ve never met you before but i went to a huge party at your house with my significant other - who then proceeded to dump me” au
• “you’re the cutest waiter at my favorite restaurant” au
• “we didn’t come to this anime convention together but we dressed up as characters that are a couple in the show and people keep assuming we’re together and asking us to pose for pictures so hi there what’s your name” au
• “you rescued me from the creepy person that was hitting on me in the bar” au
• “You rubbed my lamp, I am your genie but I kinda suck at using my magic so bear with me here” AU
• “I was digging in my garden and I found your time capsule with a bunch of weird stuff in it, sorry I went through it” AU
• “Yeah yeah I’m the person who tripped and fell on their face to get to the podium on stage for the welcome speech at freshman orientation” AU
• “This is the tenth time this week we’ve had a fire alarm go of but uh… this time it was my fault” AU
• “You crashed into me on your bicycle but I’m actually okay, you on the other hand look like you need some first aid” AU
• “Hey classmate, I’ll be telling some jokes and puns during my presentation but I’m not sure if anyone will laugh so can I count on you to laugh so I don’t look stupid?” AU
• marching band “you’re in the drum section and I play trombone, this is a scandal” AU
• “I tried to rescue you from being mugged but instead I got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after having your wallet stolen” AU

we're bad at dating

• I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
• One of us thinks this is a date but the other thinks it’s an informal job interview
• I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
• We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
• We took each other’s underwear from the laundromat by mistake
• I got drunk and sent a sexy naked pic to my ex but I sent it to you instead by mistake
• We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
• I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…
• We had sex at the office party but we’re both workaholics so we don’t normally date
• We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
• You bought me at a charity auction and you’re probably a serial killer
• You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
• Your appointment with a sexual therapist was right after mine and we got talking in the waiting room
• We’re on a blind date, but wait a moment… aren’t you that guy who gave me a hand job at a Renaissance Faire a year ago?… what do you MEAN “WHICH ONE”?
• We both picked the same power ballad at karaoke so we sang a duet
• We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings?

some au ideas that have been floating around my brain:

• you both grab for the last pint of ice cream at the supermarket and end up arguing over it au
• i keep setting my kitchen stove on fire and you’re the long suffering firefighter on call au
• my dog won’t stop barking at your cat in the waiting room at the vets au
• you got stood up on a date at the coffee shop i work in here let me get you a drink on the house au
• your mail keeps coming to my house even though you don’t live there anymore how the fuck do i return it to you au
• we get the same train to work every morning and you always take the good seat so i glare at you until you let me sit there au
• i’m scared to walk home in the dark and its really late so i called a random number and got you au
• you left one of your shirts in the washer and it got mixed up with my stuff and i didn’t realise until you shouted at me from across the street au
• i desperately need a birthday cake and my friend told me you could bake really well au
• i hit you in the balls in a paintball match i’m so sorry oh my god au
• the walls are really thin and i can hear everything you’re saying could you please shut the fuck up new neighbour au
• you jog shirtless past my house every morning au

i walk in on you correcting people’s misspelled bathroom graffiti au

• you write me a bad restaurant review and i force myself into your kitchen so i can cook you my food until you admit it’s good au
• you live across the hall and hide in my apartment when you want to avoid your one night stands au
• we’re the only single people at this wedding table lets get drunk and bitch about everyone au
• someone in the dorms makes amazing cookies and you’re trying to figure it out and walk in on me baking at four in the morning au
• my best friend has a popular youtube channel and drags me into their videos and people comment on how we seem like a couple isn’t that awkward au
• we both get lost at disneyworld and somehow stumble across each other and decide to be lost together au

my kite got tangled in your kite at the park au

• you’re sitting in my spot in the library what the fuck dude get out of my seat au
• you’re gesticulating violently and accidentally hit me in the face au
• we’re both desperately trying to buy something for our relatives in the airport shops because we forgot to when * we were on holiday maybe we could help each other out au
• you fell over in the subway car and landed in my lap au
• you sit behind me and poke me every time i fall asleep during 9am lectures thank you can i buy you a coffee? au
• our suitcases look the same and we accidentally picked up the wrong one at the airport au
• you’re in the hospital bed next to me and we fight over what to watch on the shared tv au
• we never talk but we make eye contact whenever anyone says something incredibly stupid during class au

awkward teenage seven-minutes-in-heaven au

• you’re shouting in my face about your society at the freshman fair so i sign my name just to shut you up au
• we’re on the same ‘travel-across-a-continent’ holiday plan why don’t we just stick together for the whole trip au
• foreign exchange student au
• i always see you in the library and i think you’re really cute so i leave you little post it notes on your work whenever you go and get a book just to see you blush au
• you’ve-got-mail au
• my mum knows your mum and they’re trying to set us up but all i can remember of you is that time you stuck gum in my hair when we were seven so i automatically don’t like you au
• i accidentally open the door right before you knock and smack you in the face au
• there’s a really cute new intern at your place of work and your friends bully you into talking to them au
• our school is doing a secret-santa and i got you au
• the-princess-diaries au
• we’re the only two people left who are single in our friendship group and they all decide to try and set us up with each other au
• “i’m a horror game developer and you’re well known for playing my game and your face looks really stupid when you scream” au
• “i’m the band teacher and you’re the choir teacher and we take our rivalry more seriously than our students do” au
• “i found your number in a library card on a scrap of paper with some really confusing random words i’m intrigued and i’m calling you so you can explain” au
• “you’re my theatre department rival for this lead but we got cast as love interests instead” au
• “we’re both hired as disney world royalty and our characters never intermingle but that won’t stop me” au
• “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au
• “you’re a celebrity who just broke up and i tweeted you a selfie with the caption “date me” as a joke but you thought i was serious?” au
• “we’re cosplaying at comic con dressed as a pair and we didn’t come together but people think we did and i have yet to meet you?”
• “you’re an extra for my superhero movie and you clearly have no idea how to do this” au
• “i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can’t stop watching you do one armed push ups that’s so hot” au
• “this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au
• “you’re the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you don’t believe me and tease me constantly about it” au
• “okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au
• “okay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face now” au
• “my parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now i’m back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?” au
• “i’ve been travelling a lot and somehow you’re in every single city i go to seriously what the fuck who even are you how are you doing this” au
• “we’ve been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with you” au
• “ngl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you’re still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me” au
• “my guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly you’re really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throat” au
• “it seems we’re the only two people in this class that actually know what the fuck is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybody’s lives” au
• “we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date” au
• “i’m the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what up” au
• “i came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didn’t even know anything was wrong but we’ve known each other for months what gives” au
• “i’m the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops you’re all kinds of adorable with her and also i think she’s growing attached to me is this good or bad” au
• “i meant to text the contact one above you in my phone’s contact list for a booty call but i didn’t realize i hit your name until i sent it so now i’m just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging me” au
• “we started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now we’re trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distance” au
• “so not to be rude or anything but i’ve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and i’ve always been alone up until now seriously what the hell” au
• “it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au

Job AUs General

• ‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU
• ‘I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU

‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au

• ‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser AU

• ‘You’re my regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU
• “Rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

• ‘Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU
• ‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU

Florist AU

• ‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’ AU
• ‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end up giving me a lesson’ AU

Jewellery shop AU

• ‘You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU
• ‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

• I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU
• ‘You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU
• ‘You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU
• ‘Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ AU

Bakery AU

• ‘Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU
• ‘Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back out seriously just buy something already’ AU

Drug Store/Chemist AU

• ‘You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your items were actually overpriced’ AU

Bartender AU

• ‘You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ AU
• ‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU

Teacher AU

W* e’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years’ AU

• ‘Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Writer AU

• I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay’ AU

Fast food Chain AU

• ‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU
• ‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone’ AU
• ‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

• ‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU
• ‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6 gallons of milk why’ AU

Restaurant AU

• ‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU
• ‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

• ‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU
• ‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama and you practice at my expense’ AU
• ‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU

Firefighter AU

• ‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
• “No that’s impossible how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU

Sex Line Operator AU

• ‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU
• ‘I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

• You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU

Other aus

• just a list trashy aus to consider
• “i play literally the straightest character to ever straight on television which is why everyones super surprised when in reality i came out with my boyfriend/girlfriend bc what do u mean your gay now / well im not my character” au
• “im not saying you cant be a stripper and that youre lying im just saying you act like too much of a ball of sunshine to be a stripper so i might need to see physical proof of this job” au
• “THE APOCALYPSE IS HAPPENING WOULD YOU STOP LIVETWEETING ABOUT IT FOR TEN SECONDS AND PASS ME THAT KNIFE JESUS FUCK” au
• “so we bumped into each other in the dorm hallway and some how i picked up your dvd full of porn and you picked up my favorite romcom, so this an awkward exchange” au
• “we just spent 20 minutes fighting over whether or not advanced algebra is important to know in society, in french class” au
• “how am i supposed to be a good new roommate and not act annoyed when you buy store brand greek yogurt what are you a savage” au
• “i want to blame my young child from accidentally breaking your window with a baseball, but it actually was in fact me, and i was aiming for your roof i am sorry” au
• “listen i didnt mean to walk in on you trying on lingerie but i want you to know that is not your color, pls try this on instead, also if you have any other questions, im at the cashiers desk ok sor — oh my god pls put that back its our worst thingin this story, ok no im sorry im sorry im leaving pls dont be mad at me” au
• “sorry i accidentally time traveled from the future and ended up some how transported into your shower while you were actually showering, i apologize but your hair does smell nice” au
• “so i stole a car and you were asleep in it, still, oops” au
• “im not telling you i found a baby dragon, but i found a baby dragon, and i cant just hide it in our shed so i need you to help me hide it, i’ll trade you that potion youve been asking for this help, liKE LOOK HOW CUTE” au
• “my kid might have stole your wallet/purse, and then spent the money in there on candy bars while i was checking out, im so sorry, let me buy you coffee to make it up for it?” au
• “we catch the same bus home and i always fall asleep, but you always wake me up at my stop”
• “you come into my 24hr diner at the oddest times bc of your weird job but you keep forgetting that we talk because youre always sleep deprived”
• “my neighbour keeps ordering weird shit but they dont want to face the mailperson’s judgement so they keep using my address instead”
• “i run the night slot on campus radio and some jackass keeps calling in to insult my music taste and request high school musical songs instead”
• “escaped to the laundry room to avoid hearing my room-mates having extremely loud sex only to find you’re here doing the same thing”
• “sorry i knocked you out in that bar fight last night, but i brought you to the hospital and stuck around ‘til you woke up to apologize”
• “you were trash talking my favourite character in the cinemas and obviously i need to show you the light, even if i have to buy you a burger to get you to listen”
• “our mutual friend dropped out of this trip at the last minute, so hi i guess we’re spending the next two weeks together”
• “you forgot to remove your snarky sticky note comments in this textbook and since i got kicked out of the library for laughing too loudly, im going to reply to each and every one”
• “i lost my asshole friends in this club and im kinda drunk and youre kinda gorgeous, please help me”
• “since there’s only one can of energy drink left in the store, which we both need to survive the disgustingly boring lecture we just discovered we both have, how about we share it”

http://makoharuheartandsoul.tumblr.com/post/116343358541/michael-cliffoblue-master-post-of-aus-that-need