I always write down hilarious things people say and never keep them. Time to start:

• "Your arms look very 'Hillary' today" - Sarah
• "Sometimes I feel like I'm calling some sort of 24 hour information hotline when I call you. Some completely reliable service you call for random facts and information on current affairs." - Sarah
• "How about these?" "No, too colourful." "They're black and white..."
• "White cheese is straight, and red cheddar cheese is gay, and then there's the mixed cheese, like you."