• The Article

By 30, you should have ...

• One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
• ✔ A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
• Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
• A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
• A youth you’re content to move beyond.
• A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
• The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
• ✔ An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
• A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
• ✔ One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
• A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
• Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
• The belief that you deserve it.
• A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
• A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know ...

• ✔ How to fall in love without losing yourself.
• How you feel about having kids.
• How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
• When to try harder and when to walk away.
• How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
• The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
• How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
• Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.
• That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
• That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
• What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
• That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
• Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
• Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
• Why they say life begins at 30