I'm over you, and I'm so better off because you...

• had bad breath
• had a fat ass
• had a hairy back
• smoked too much weed
• self-medicate
• broke up with me 4 times our first month of dating
• manipulated me
• used me for money, cigarettes, sex, etc
• always got jealous if I talked to any other guy
• fucked me like a pornstar
• told me we were having a menage a trois
• broke up with me July 4th, got drunk, then asked for a ride
• said, 2 weeks of us dating, basically, "No BJs, no dating"
• said "I love you" just because I was crying, Day 7
• refused official relationship, though we were together still for 3 months after
• slept with 8 people before me
• never used a rubber before we had sex
• took my virginity within the first month of dating
• never talked about feelings
• always called me too serious and sensitive
• haven't contacted me in almost 3 months
• are a fucking whore
• told me to "shut the fuck up" several times
• said, "just because we're not dating, we can't have sex?!"
• said, "well if you won't have sex with me I'll have sex with someone else!"
• always made empty threats
• hurt me way too much
• don't care, and probably never did
• found someone else 5 days after I left you
• now live with your whore boyfriend of 7 months
• can live without me
• never apologized in person
• asked me to have a threesome with your new boyfriend
• are obsessive, jealous, and controlling
• have read 3 books in your life
• never cared to make a good impression on my family
• let me do so much for you and in return you did nothing
• pulled me into your addictive codependency
• fake cried whenever I told you we were done
• dropped out of community college
• work at a gas station at 20
• live in the slums
• are bitter
• said, "ask anyone, I'm a fucking asshole."
• were so hot and cold
• wouldn't ever let me go
• refused to fight for me
• only said "I love you" when things were bad with us
• made me feel special, and you didn't actually think I was
• are completely OK without talking to me for 3 months
• weren't even that attractive
• are shallow
• made me think you actually wanted me
• never really loved me
• were possessive
• broke my heart
• took my virginity as if it was nothing
• bragged about how I was the 3rd person whose virginity you'd taken
• have no life goals
• are an illiterate jackass
• probably cheated on me
• have no impulse control
• might be an alcoholic/drug addict
• don't like books, and I'm a WRITER
• won't ever show up on my porch, to tell me how much you miss me
• whenever I used to say that I missed you, you said, "I know"
• never introduced me to your family, even after 4 months
• were embarrassed to be seen with me
• whenever I kissed you outside, your eyes darted around
• wrote me a love letter full of lies
• promised me you would quit smoking pot, but didn't mean it
• told me you only said that because you wanted to make me happy
• when I called you after two months of not seeing you, I asked you to tell me that you sometimes missed me, too, and you said, "Ryan, it's been 2 months..."
• probably never even think about me
• lied to yourself and me
• never could take care of me
• tried to ruin my life
• made me an emotional mess
• made me cry over you for almost a year
• said our song was "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks
• move on like a Greyhound bus
• are white trash
• threw a fit whenever I didn't give into sex
• expected for me to "let shit [you did] go" over and over
• told me you had never felt this way about anyone before
• wouldn't even feel anything if I were dating someone
• probably won't ever contact me again
• are so fucking dumb
• made me realize how much I need independence
• never came back to me
• won't get out of my fucking mind
• made me realize I need better
• left me all alone to pick up the pieces
• replaced me within days
• never could express your feelings
• weren't capable of saying "thank you"
• never said "sorry" for anything
• are a sacrilegious skank
• made me feel like shit
• never drive by my house, work, or Starbucks
• would never get coffee with me
• even said I deserved better than you
• told me to be "the Ryan you fell in love with"
• saw 2 movies with me over 4 months when I get in for free
• would sleep with your back to me whenever you were made, which was often
• often refused to sleep with me in your arms
• wiped your lube-slathered anus on my towel
• told people I was "so annoying"
• said, when I asked you if you loved me "not anymore! because you pissed me off like no other."
• pretended like you'd never leave me
• have made my senior year hell
• won't even say goodbye before I move to Chicago
• haven't said you missed me or anything since September
• never wanted to be friends
• wanted to use me for sex, even when you have a boyfriend
• would fuck anything that walks
• have a terrible taste in music
• wrote me so many messages, making it seem like we had something amazing
• could never match up your actions with your words
• hate me
• called me "a nagging, depressed bitch" or something similar
• don't need me
• don't want me
• don't love me
• don't think about me
• deserve to be hurt
• should get done to you what you did to me
• moved on, so it's fucking time I do the same