• Why Won't You Date Me Podcast by Nicole Byer; The Cost of Being 'Cute' with Cat Hollis July 9, 2021

39:01 Nicole Byer: So your job is like inherently being sexy, and I know I have to be myself when I'm approaching people in the dating world, but like, you serve a fantasy. So what can I borrow from the fantasy that you serve, to then serve it to a gentleman that I'm trying to date

Cat Hollis: That is such a good question. If I was going to bring one piece of advice from what I've learned as a dancer, it would be: get ready for a 98% "no". I like to say that 'you have to ask ten people to get one dance', and so if you get four 'no's that is not a sign to give up, that is a sign to ask six more people. Because you want to get those 'no's out of the way. Statistically speaking, you get more and more likely to get a 'yes' the more that 'no's you get.

So just not to lose faith in your product because you got a 'no'. Don't lower your price, don't lower your expectations, or your standards because you're getting 'no's, that just means that you have a niche market and once you find that market, it is so worth it to have gotten the 'no's and not compromise. Because who you are to those people who say 'yes' is exactly what they want. And if you change yourself and mediate who you are in order to fit that mass-marketability?

You know, it's-- 20% of your customers provide you with 80% of your profits, but 80% of your customers don't provide you with any profit. And so understanding that when you get those 8 'no's, those two 'yes'es become really valuable. So to just keep asking, and ask people what they're looking for. And if it's not you? That's not a bad thing. That doesn't mean that you're unworthy of making the bag. That doesn't mean that somebody's not coming in to make it rain on you. There will always be those 'chaotic good's out there who will find you and see the superhero in you. But that doesn't mean that you know, you gotta Clark Kent it up for some so-and-so.