• NASCAR -- Cars racing around an oval track for basically an entire day. Great. The fans say that the more you watch it, the more subtleties you will pick up, but the same can be said about staring at a pile of poo.
• Football -- They play for 5 seconds, then stop for 30. For 3 hours! Also, when anything exciting happens, there is about a 50% chance that it will be called back (and erased) because of a penalty.
• Golf -- It's not even a sport. Never mind
• Soccer -- The field is too big and nothing happens.
• Tennis -- Fun to play (for a little while), but not fun to watch.
• Bowling not quite a sport, but its pretty fun to play, if you and the people you are with are not very good.
• Basketball -- It's too slow paced (in the NBA), and there are too many fouls. It's fun to play though.
• Hockey -- Hockey is almost not lame. Almost. Its fast-paced, brutal, and the ice skates and sticks adds an interesting dynamic. But its still pretty boring because it's still just guys trying to get a thing into a goal.
• Baseball -- In every other team sport, the objective is to get a thing into a goal and prevent the thing from getting into your goal. Baseball is more like a live-action board game, which makes it not quite as action-packed, but FAR more interesting than the other sports. It is not very fun to watch though; it's only fun to play.

I used to say that sports are a simulation of war. That is false. Now I realize that sports, with the exception of baseball, are a simulation of two dudes struggling to sodomize one another.