• all that wanting, right?, por devin kelly ⸻ i wanted just a bit of grief rather than despair. &, in my shame, i wanted my childhood back. i wanted to walk backward out of the room where i kept my secrets. i wanted to say i’m hurt before my hurt became a character trait i told no one but myself. when i wanted unknowing, i was given certainty, & when i wanted the hard & fixed line, i was given mystery. sometimes, i wanted to give it all back, but to who, i wondered, & how? i wanted a life to come out of my life, but instead i was left with my life.
• the goldfinch, por donna tartt ⸻ but sometimes, unexpectedly, grief pounded over me in waves that left me gasping; and when the waves washed back, i found myself looking out over a brackish wreck which was illumined in a light so lucid, so heartsick and empty, that i could hardly remember that the world had ever been anything but dead.

• uma flor: flor esqueleto (diphylleya grayi) .
• uma cor: marrom.
• um livro: o pintassílgo, por donna dartt , a redoma de vidro, por sylvia plath e a canção de aquiles, por madeline miller (e totalizam três, mas ei, esse listography é meu!) .
• um animal: coruja.
• um sentimento positivo: ternura.
• um sentimento negativo: angústia.
• uma estação do ano: outono.
• um planeta: vênus.
• um cheiro: limão siciliano.
• uma palavra: gentileza.

• delírio de cristal, ✉.
  • delírio de cristal é uma manifestação externa de um distúrbio psiquiátrico registrado na europa, principalmente no final da idade média e início do período moderno (séculos xv a xvii). pessoas temiam que fossem feitas de vidro "e, portanto, poderiam se quebrar em pedaços."
• dilema do ouriço, ✉.
  • o dilema do ouriço, ou dilema do porco-espinho, é uma metáfora sobre os desafios da intimidade humana. descreve uma situação em que um grupo de ouriços procura aproximar-se uns dos outros para partilhar o calor durante o tempo frio, entretanto eles devem permanecer separados, pois não podem evitar ferir uns aos outros com suas espinhas afiadas. embora todos partilhem a intenção de uma relação est...

that unwanted animal, the amazing devil .

• oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours / and our screaming joins in unison, i cry out to the lord / 'cause if we join our hands in prayer enough / to god, i imagine it all starts to sound like applause.

america, sufjan stevens.

• i have worshiped, i have cried / i have put my hands in the wounds on your side / i have tasted of your blood / i have choked on the waters, i abated the flood / i am broken, i am beat / but i will find my way like a judas in heat.

punish, ethel cain.

• whatever's wrong with me / i will take to bed / i give in so easy / nature chews on me (...) in the morning i will mar myself again / he was a natural plauché, say...

• are you the flesh, the machine, the rot, or the divine?
  • the divine.
• what color are you? but it's my synesthesia talking
  • green · you are not a plant. yes, you may have laughed, but you feel stuck and stuck in the same place, a weed ignored by everyone. looked at but not seen, you are there if they remember you. favorite when useful.you are life, you are energy, you are an important pillar. don't let people walk all over you just because you want to fit in, just because you don't want conflict, just for those who want peace. you are unforgettable.

aponemia, from an-, against + echoes. pronounced “an-uh-koh-sis.” .

• n. the peculiar quality of never having chosen to be born, which is shared by everyone else around you; the curious awareness that even though earthly life might be the most exciting party in the universe, somehow everyone in attendance had been dragged here by a friend or stumbled in by accident.

anthrodynia, ancient greek ἄνθρωπος (ánthrōpos), humanity + ὀδύνη (odúnē), sorrow, anguish, pain. pronounced “an-thruh-din-ee-uh.”

• n. a state of exhaustion with how cruel people can be, freely undercutting each other in ways that seem petty and gratuitous—which can sometimes trigger a counterva...