- Bring Me the Horizon
- I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim
- It's not a state of mind no, your head's just in a state
- What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead
- It comes in waves, I close my eyes/Hold my breath and let it bury me
- You must've made some kind of mistake/I asked for death, but instead I'm awake
- Every wound will shape me/Every scar will build my throne
- I've been climbing up the walls/To escape the sinking feeling/But I can't hide from the nihilist at my door
- Halsey
- If you wanna break these walls down, you're gonna get bruised
- My demons are begging me to open up my mouth/I need them mechanically make the words come out
- Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown
- Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine/I'm helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine/They rush me, telling me I'm running out of time/They shush me, walking me across a fragile line
- You're dripping like a saturated sunrise/You're spilling like an overflowing sink/You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece/And now you're tearing through the pages and the ink
- I'm bigger than my body/I'm colder than this home/I'm meaner than my demons/I'm bigger than these bones
- You can't wake up, this is not a dream/You're part of a machine/You are not a human being/With your face all made up, living on a screen/Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline
- Cus I've done some things that I can't speak/And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave
- If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes
- Every single night pray the sun'll rise/Every single time make a compromise
- And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same
- So I'm sorry to my unknown lover/Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me/Sorry to my unknown lover/Sorry I could be so blind/Didn't mean to leave you/And all of the things that we had behind
- Cus nobody seems to ask about me anymore/And nobody seems to care 'bout anything I think/And nobody seems to recognize me in the crowd/In the background screamin', "everybody, look at me"
- And I went tumbling down trying to reach your height/But I scream too loud when I speak my mind
- Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters/Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger/I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers/And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors
- I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be
- I'd like to tell you that my sky's not blue, it's violent rain
- Cus I don't need anyone, I don't need anyone/I just need everyone and then some
- Is it really that strange if I always wanna change?/And if only the time and space between us wasn't lonely
- I told you I'd ride this out/It's getting harder every day somehow/I'm bursting out of myself
- I spent a long time/Substituting honest with sarcastic/And I curse my tongue for being mean
- 'Cause I could never hold a perfect thing/And not demolish it
- And I know that it's unfair on me to make a memory out of a feeling
- If I could make you love me/Maybe you could make me love me/And if I can't make you love me/Then I'll just hate everybody
- I'm the worst of my enemies and I don't really know what to do with me
- And no one around me knows/Who I am, what I'm on/Who I've hurt and where they've gone
- And I try and I try to remember sometimes/If I breathe, it's alright, but some things don't change
- And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit/Well she told me she said, "Ashley you gotta promise us that you won't die/'Cause we need you" and honestly I think that she lied
- I lost all my faith and lost all hope/That everything means anything at all
- I want a beautiful boy's despondent laughter/I want to ruin all my plans/I want a fist around my throat/I want to cry so hard I choke/I want everything I asked for
- I know the parts of myself that I've hated/And I can't tell which ones are mine/And which I created
- Sabotage the things you love the most/Camouflage so you can feed the lie that you're composed
- PVRIS
- I feel these limbs are growing cold to numb/Take a good look at what I've become/There's a hole in my chest/And I don't think it's leaving room for anyone
- I can't breathe, I'm doing everything to bring this body back to life
- No matter how hard I try/I don't think I will make it through the night
- Shout out to the artist who took his heart and his soul and lost them both in the process
- Your built composure's wearing thin and all your walls are caving in
- Now don't you shut this down, no don't you give this up/I took all this love I found and I hope that it's enough
- This isn't violence this is just a war in my head
- You give me something to think about that's not the shit in my head
- It's hard to be what you need through a static screen/Been trying to speak for weeks and weeks/Open my mouth all that comes out is white noise and incomprehensible sounds
- I'm watching, I'm waiting, I'm aching, suffocating/I'm breathing, I'm speaking, can you hear me?
- I know you're dead inside but you make me feel alive
- Why can't you stay?/I'm up against these things I can't see/They don't compare/Make me believe, make me believe
- I'm sorry I keep pushing/Now you're up against the ghosts in my head
- You see, I want the world to believe that there's a light inside of me/But it's time that I come clean I'm not what I seem, no/Some would say I'm possessed, yeah, but I'll confess I've just been obsessed with life and death and emptiness, I guess/Can't you see all of the change in me?
- You took these starving limbs, tried to see, tried to see what they could be/But I thought I'd be something, I thought you'd complete me/That you'd erase all the pain that I felt in my brain/If you filled my heart with love then you'd fill my voids above/Now you see, that didn't change a thing.
- 2 years gone/Came back as some bones and so cynical/This skin don't feel like home/It's all overgrown but you'll never know
- Take the mirror from the wall so I can't see myself at all/Don't wanna see another damn inch of my skull/Forget the poems of saints and ghosts/I'm the one I fear the most
- Some days I feel everything, others are numbing/Can never find the in between, it's all or nothing
- I never wanted a body
- I feel too little and I think too much
- My body didn't like the way it felt last June/And it haunted me the whole year/Then turned into thinking I was dying/Wouldn't pull through to see 22
- You keep on saying that I've changed, I know that I don't seem quite the same/Don't know where, don't know where I went no, don't know where I went wrong
- There's always been a disconnect running from my heart to my head and no it's never made much sense
- Pull away the world from me, I don't mind/As long as they don't separate you from me I'll be fine
- Not numb but not feeling too much/Unfazed on the days I should break down
- You loved me suffering /But I could take the pain
- Dead in the summer/Started going under/I said it was now or never
- All my friends are doing fine/While I'm looking for a sign/Is this body even mine?/Feels good to be alive, but I hate my life
- Tablo/Epik High
- Carry the new day on your shoulder and run
- They say that time flies, but you keep breaking its wings
- Receiving love doesn’t mean you have it/Covering time doesn’t mean it passes/Breathing doesn’t mean you live
- Because I disliked the unfamiliar happiness more than the familiar sadness
- Taylor Swift
- So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something/And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted
- And you come away with a great little story/Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
- So how can I ever try to be better?/Nobody ever lets me in
- And I'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands
- And all we are is skin and bone trained to get along/Forever going with the flow but you're friction
- You call me up again just to break me like a promise/So casually cruel in the name of being honest
- Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it/I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
- And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me
- Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting/Silence, the train runs off its tracks/Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
- And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused/Cus you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.
- Rain came pouring down when I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
- The water filled my lungs/I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing
- 10 months sober, I must admit/Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it/10 months older, I won't give in/Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it
- Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
- I never grew up/It's getting so old
- I wake in the night/I pace like a ghost/The room is on fire/Invisible smoke/And all of my heroes die all alone
- 'Cause all of my enemies started out friends
- And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name/And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away/I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
- Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now/It's brighter now, now
- In my defense, I have none/For never leaving well enough alone
- But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss/I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs
- And I can go anywhere I want/Anywhere I want/Just not home
- I'm still a believer but I don't know why
- Please picture me in the weeds before I learned civility/I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted
- I've been having a hard time adjusting/I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting/I didn't know if you'd care if I came back/I have a lot of regrets about that
- Pulled the car off the road to the lookout/Could've followed my fears all the way down
- They told me all of my cages were mental/So I got wasted like all my potential
- I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere/Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here
- Time, mystical time/Cutting me open, then healing me fine
- Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason"
- Don't want no other shade of blue but you/No other sadness in the world would do
- You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart
- I don't like that falling feels like flying till the bone crush
- I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life
- There'll be happiness after you/But there was happiness because of you/Both of these things can be true/There is happiness
- Should've kept every grocery store receipt/'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me
- Hey December, guess I'm feeling unmoored/Can't remember what I used to fight for
- And I couldn't be sure/I had a feeling so peculiar/This pain wouldn't be for evermore
- Help, I'm still at the restaurant/Still sitting in a corner I haunt/Cross-legged in the dim light/They say, "What a sad sight"
- They expected me to find somewhere/Some perspective, but I sat and stared/Right where you left me
- Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?/Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it/She's still twenty-three inside her fantasy/How it was supposed to be
- Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?/Breakups happen every day, you don't have to lose it
- I cause no harm/Mind my business/If our love died young/I can't bear witness/And it's been so long/But if you ever think you got it wrong I'm right where you left me
- Twenty One Pilots
- I'm just being dramatic/In fact, I'm only at it again/As an addict with a pen
- I've been traveling in the desert of my mind/And I, I haven't found a drop of life
- Petrified of who you are and who you have become/You will hide from everyone, denying you need someone
- I don't believe my ears/And I'm scared of my own head/I will deny you for years/Then I'll make you raise me from the dead
- And if I said that I would live for you/For nothing in return/Well I'm sorry Mr. Gullible/But lying's all I've learned
- I'm so sorry but I do believe/That all my bridges, I have burned/And I've earned a policy of no return
- Why won't you let me go?/Do I threaten all your plans?/I'm insignificant
- Sometimes quiet is violent
- My pride is no longer inside/It's on my sleeve/My skin will scream/Reminding me of who I killed inside my dream
- There is no distraction to mask what is real
- I ponder of something terrifying/Cus this time there's no sound to hide behind
- And now I just sit in silence
- I don't wanna be heard, I want to be listened to
- And for some reason I smell gas on my hands/This is not what I had planned
- I'm holding on to what I know, and what I know, I must let go
- We all know somebody who knows somebody who's doing great/I know some people who know people who are flying straight/But I'll kindly enter into rooms of depression/While ceiling fans and idle hands will take my life again
- Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind
- While you're doing fine, there's some people and I who have a really tough time getting through this life/So excuse us while we sing to the sky
- You say I'm not alone, but I am petrified
- And the wrists of my mind have the bleeding lines/That remind me of all the times I have committed dirty, dirty crimes that are perfectly form-fitted
- I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink/But now I'm insecure and I care what people think
- "I'd live for you," and that's hard to do/Even harder to say when you know it's not true
- But I know a thing or two about pain and darkness/If it wasn't for this music, I don't know how I would've fought this
- Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless
- And now that my mind's out, and now I hear it clear and loud/I'm thinking, "Wow, I probably shoulda stayed inside my house."
- Scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity/Scared of my own ceiling, scared I'll die of uncertainty/Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety/Don't know what's inside of me
- Don't forget about me/Even when I doubt you, I'm no good without you
- A loser hides behind a mask of my disguise/And who I am today is worse than other times/You don't know what I've done, I'm wanted and on the run
- But right now the ocean's blacker than black, the sky is too
- I thought I could depend on my weekends/On the freezing ground that I'm sleeping on/Please, keep me from, please, keep me down from the ledges
- Can't stop thinking about if and when I'll die/For now I see that "if" and "when" are truly different cries/For "if" is purely panic and "when" is solemn sorrow/And one invades today while the other spies tomorrow
- Our culture can treat a loss/Like it's a win and right before we turn on them/We give them the highest of praise, and hang their banner from a ceiling
- I'm lighter when I'm lower, I'm higher when I'm heavy
- I keep on going back even though it's me I abuse
- This is the sound we make/When in between two places/Where we used to bleed/And where our blood needs to be
- The softest echo could be enough for me to make it through
- I created this world/To feel some control/Destroy it if I want
- I'm tired of tending to this fire/I've used up all I've collected/I have singed my hands
- I don't want to go like this at least let me clean my room
- He might have made it if he lived on a different street
jan 8 2017 ∞
aug 27 2021 +