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  • i often clench for some seconds before i start crying.
  • i think of too many fantasy things being real.
  • i get very emotional while watching good movies, tv shows, musicals or reading books. too emotional.
  • when i really like a musical i cry at the closing applause and/or prologue (when i already saw it).
  • i think you should either tell people about your secrets and show them that you are sad or just keep your muth shut completely. everything else looks like seeking attention to me. if you always wear a mask you should not wonder if the people cannot see your tears.
  • all in all i love all my scars. whether they were on purpose or not.
  • i hate humans. i hate how they act and what they say. and yes, this is including myself, as every human has some of these ugly characteristics i just hate!
  • if i notice that a friend of mine does not care about me the same way i care about them i build a wall around myself. i will not get too emotionally attached with him/her then because i know i will be hurt because i except more of them.
  • even though, for my personal opinion, i have already been in love, i think that, at the moment, there is no man in my reach that i could really fall in love with. and i am okay with that. i gave up on a proper relatiobship already a few years ago. and i think up until i have finished school and moved out of this city i will not be together with anyone.
  • i have had no best friend for years. i have friends that i can tell my secrets if i want to but is not a duty. i think if you have a best friend, it is hard to keep a secret that you just do not want to tell anyone. and i just like to keep most of my thought for myself.
  • i hate dreaming. i hate it so fucking much. i do not dream a lot of unlogical stuff anymore but real stories. and all my dreams mirror my longings and when i wake up i am always unhappy. sometimes i am afraid to go to bed at night because i do not want to wake up sad again.
  • i like to end what i have started. i don't like stuff being incomplete.
  • i am very lazy, when it comes to stuff for school. but when i really want something i can be very ambitious though.
  • i am obsessed with fulfilling my ideas, dreams and wishes.
  • i hate being wrong. sometimes, even though i am pretty sure that my answer is right, i won't say it because i am too scared that it is wrong.
  • since the accident of my father i have a problem with watching movies or anything else where close family members die, have accidents or are in a coma.
  • i am so damn afraid of death, i just can't take it. if i start to think about it i start crying immediately. i just can't believe that things like death are real and not only that i will die at the end of it all but also that there will be a life without my parents. the problem is i can't imagine that life is actually finite and one day it is just over. it is not the process of dying or what will happen after it. it is just.. it's the end of life.
  • i do try to be a better human, not by being very nice to people but by trying to avoid to do things myself which i criticize about other people. i also always try to see something of the perspective of someone else to understand them and also for my own contentment!
  • i get easily annoyed by.. everything. people, music, shows. i really have to be careful to not be together with someone for too long, to not listen to a song too often and watch a show too often because then it will annoy me pretty soon.
  • i think of bad accidents that could happen any moment in everyday situations.
mar 18 2011 ∞
dec 25 2012 +