most important:

• hey there february, please make me feel better...
• dancing, dancing, dancing
• best of schülerrock ♥
• started to work on my anime mural again. the last time seriously was in august. before i went to berlin. like.. what?
• grey's anatomy
• watching some anime again - all the yay's ♥
• world of warcraft
• hair
• smash
• i miss berlin.. so much..
• rocky horror show and henrik fucking wagners frank'n'furter
• my brother's visit

thoughts of a day:

• 01.02 - wow, i should really delete everyone i know from berlin (because of hiho) from my facebook list.. even though i am happy for them and what they experience, i can't hide my envy and jealousy.. and i especially just can't turn off that deep stabs it gives my heart. who am i to fucking miss a musical? this is so ridiculous.....
• 02.02 - blaaaarrrg. // "berlinale" break starts and i am kinda happy about it because it means no more photos, information etc. for three more weeks. ahh god. and then it is only one month left and i can bring back my own photos and everything again. so i hold my head up high :) // i can't believe how happy dancing (and really let yourself go!!!!) makes me sometimes ♥
• 03.02 - NO SW TODAY FUCK YEEAAAAHHHHH!!! // that was the last time, i swear. at least for a very long time!!!!
• 04.02 - will bum around the whole day and in the evening my dad and me will eat out :> // i also baked another cake today - chocolate, which tastes absolutely AWESOME, just to compliment myself. // FOOD WAS SOOOOOO GOD! oh my god! also talked about a lot of things with my dad, which was really nice :> i can't really tell you how much i love him.. seriously... :')
• 05.02 - MURAL ALL DAY LOOOONG! and grey's anatomy. and i did the laundry for the first fucking time. all on my own. haha. // and i did too much things wrong, actually, which hopefully doesn't have too much of an effect for the laundry.. otherwise i'll probably get killed when my mom comes back.. oh damn. // there definitely is something not right with me at the moment.. but at the moment i don't have to care. i don't have exams in school. i can keep living in my dream world because that just makes it all feel a bit better at least.
• 06.02 - i''ve booked my bus to berlin today ♥ YAAAAY I AM GOING TO BERLIN IN MARCH! XD okay.. i mean, this is old news, but anyway xD // hahahaah MAYBE I AM GETTING A FUCKING SOLO!!!
• 07.02 - started the "day" (well, the night of this day) with world of warcraft... for the first time in my life and i have to say... i really like it :) i am very curious what is next to come! // owwwwjslkajdsdf.kdsjkd.. i've been playing almost the whole day. ahhhh. and i loved it :3
• 08.02 - i am still confused if i want to go to my prom or if i want to do the dance performance on both days.. i..i just. also my dancing master would be so happy and maybe there really would be a solo for me. i just.. i love it till nowhere.. and school is just sooo.. "i am happy when i am done with this".. seriously.. ahaahahahahhah....
• 09.02 - KEIN PARDON TODAY! also been playing world of warcraft again. i never thought i would once play this but now i am in love and once i like something so much, i just... do it aaaaall the time. haaaa :D ♥ // kein pardon really was nice, roberta was there and i was able to meet her. a really nice evening, but it was late so uhm.. ;)
• 10.02 - today will be a good day :D SUSHI!!! // THE FUCKING SUSHI TASTED SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD! MY GOD! // ahhhhhhhhhhh
• 11.02 - done nothing all day, actually :D
• 12.02 - i don't really care at all, actually.....
• 13.02 - oh god i have such a soar throat. dying :(
• 14.02 - HAIR TODAY! i am so fucking excited to see henrik again! awwww, it's been half and a year, gosh ♥ // it was soooo fucking good, really. i enjoyed this evening so much and i probably go again!
• 15.02 - dancing was sooo exhausting again but so fucking much fun ahhh!!!
• 16.02 - tirrreeeed, but last day of school for five days ♥ // "Warte, ich habe DIE Idee für dich: Du vermietest an Eise unter, dann muss er immer weg, wenn du HiHo guckst!"
• 17.02 - oh my god, a free...free...free day ♥ ALSO FOR THE NEXT FOUR DAYS! i went grocery shopping with my dead.. little things i love to do :)
• 18.02 - doing what i am doing every year on carnival - N O T H I N G !!! and i love it :'D
• 19.02 - bla bla bla.
• 20.02 - you have to fill out the empty spaces others left behind..
• 21.02 - i wish i was your favourite girl.. i wish you thought i was the reason you are in the world.. // mistake of the day: waking up. // i will never forget how all this started and what we had & what it felt like. i don't know if this will ever be the same but as long as i can keep the memories i feel good. i'm just scared that i will loose you and one day i know that it will happen. you got me out of a stage of emptiness and i knew i couldn't get out of it alone. but i never thought that someone like you would be able to save me. i didn't thought that it would be so easy, that someone would just.. just.. heal me with his whole presence. it's just something very special i really don't want to loose...
• 22.02 - once again i realise how fucking much i hate dreaming.. // i just watched the last episode of 'der bachelor' and i really don't feel like sleeping now :( // i just really thought that i was out of this mood already, but i probably partied to early. i really don't know what's happening and i wish it would all go away..
• 23.02 - a new day but i still don't feel better :( yesterday evening was one of the worst i had in weeks and i wish that i wouldn't feel so bad about this but i do.. // i feel dumb for feeling like this. // singing lesson was so awesome again, oh myy gooood ♥
• 24.02. - ROCKY HORROR SHOW TODAY!!!!!! // wwwooooooooowwww, what a show. wow, wow, wow. i really enjoyed it but still hair is the best of the ones i saw in the past weeks :)
• 25.02 - trying to forget it all for a few days again :) five weeks until berlin! and my brother is coming tomorrow yaaay :3 // coool, not feeling better at all. yay.
• 26.02 - my brother is here now :)
• 27.02 - bla bla blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bla bla blaaaaaa.
• 28.02 - waking up sometimes really is a bad decision. // sooo i just read that josie won't be there when i'm in berlin. it was conjecturable.. still i am a bit disappointed and aaaaas always i am making up stupid plans.. huuuuuh.
• 29.02 - woooahhh final day of february. THANK YOU. 31 days till berlin :) haaa. // ich habe unsere träume längst verkauft... // okay ich hab jetzt noch ca. einen monat & ICH BRAUCHE GESCHENKE! ich brauche sie wirklich! also zumindest eins, weil ich will ihm schon seit jahrhunderten was geben, aber wem anders auch. ALSO STRENG DEINEN GEHIRNZELLEN AN UND ÜBERLEG DIR WAS GUTES. wäre es zu viel für die person, die mich ja eigentlich schon kennt ein paar muffins oder kekse zu backen? i don't know, man schenkt darstellern doch eh am besten immer essen :D sonst any suggestions? :D