important things:

• lovely birthday of my friend :)
• BERLIN
• aaaaand berlin post depression
• oral exam in german
• dokomi <3

thoughts of a day:

• 01.05 - hellooo there may <3 i already looovee yoouu :D
• 02.05 - today's my friend's birthday aaaaaaaaaand we are going to the running sushi which is already tradition since.. well i belieeve 4 years <3 so lovely :) // this was such a nice evening :)
• 03.05 - ahh singing lesson today after such a loooong time <3 i am excited! // ahhh i just love this woman!!
• 04.05 - three hours of dancing lesson for the upcoming performance, afterwards rushing to a birthday of a friend again :) very nice evening. and a friend of my mum's came over today, who she befriended with when she was in treatment and she is so nice :) we are quite similar, i love that :)
• 05.05 - finally dyed my hair in a NORMAL RED! the pink is gone and i am fucking happy!! tomorrow off to berlin :)
• 06.05 - EVERYTHING IS AWESOME AND NOTHING HURTS!!!!
• 07.05 - took so many photos at the stage door before the show today.. soooo happy right now :)
• 08.05 - i finally did some things in berlin. finally went to the mauerpark, the siegessäule (and also all the stairs up there) aaand to tempelhof :) lovely day!
• 09.05 - YOUNG TICKET ON SEAT 5!!! // i just really, really, really, really, do not wanna go home. this trip was so nice. i feel bad.. and i cried the whole way back to my hostel. gladly had my mc cafe cake to make me feel better.
• 10.05 - asodoaijasd. gross day.
• 11.05 - FINALLY MY BLOG ENTRY IS DONE!
• 12.05 - i survived this day.. thaaaank god <3 not even as bad as i expected it to be.. D:
• 13.05 - worked a lot at my mum's shop today aaaand then slept and then worked again :D also voted for the landtagswahlen today.
• 14.05 - when you loose something you can't replace.. // oh god, i have the fucking wort backache eeveeer!! // i hate that constant conflict between wanting to loose weight and just loving sweets and chocolate sooooo fucking much. i was on such a good way but i feel like i'm loosing it..
• 15.05 - prepared our school for our "last day" tomorrow, then had a funny band practice :) and also finally played some wow again ♥
• 16.05 - i hate that i keep changing my mind about my future.. not really about my decisions but just that.. one day i am scared, one day i just feel lucky, then i feel lazy again and then i just can't for anything to start. uuuughhh. i don't want this.. just... gnahhhhr.
• 17.05 - playing legend of zelda and world of warcraft aaaaaaaaand being lazy INSTEAD OF LEARNING FOR MY ORAL EXAM. i did look at two topics today, but the ones that i already know pretty well. i am so lazy and dumb and i hate myself for it but i do not feel like changig it... i just want school to REALLY be over.
• 18.05 - that day was not really different.. then i wanted to do something in the evening but after dancing and band practice we just chilled at a friend's house..
• 19.05 - finally did something, but not really much. i still have the feeling, that i actually know everything! also had a singing lesson again, which was lovely. i sang "nothing stops another day" there for the first time and it went so well :) <3
• 20.05 - lots of WOW but also some stuff for my oral exam.
• 21.05 - it went pretty well - got 7 points, that is something i can live with. // I AM GOING TO TRAVEL TO NORWAY WITH AIDA IN AUGUST!!! FUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAHHHHH!
• 22.05 - such a bad stomachache.. i feel like dying and crying and idek..
• 23.05 - i feel better. dancing was so exhausting today. also the dress we have for one dance DOES NOT FIT ME. it's just this one weld which i cannot fit over my hips or shoulders. FUCK OFF.. fit what my grandma always used to say.. "strong bones".. YEAHHHH STRONG FUCKING BONES. this is why i can never be a fucking ballerina..
• 24.05 - finally been able to just stand up and clean the house. my god. and i watched a documentary of a boy who wanted to be a dancer and then he injured his foot and he could not do it anymore. it was so awful to watch. at the end he actually found something he had fun doing and he was happy with his life but i still felt like crying at the end. it makes me realize how much i want do to this, how much i want to be on a stage but also that this dream can be over so fast.. even if i cannot be on stage one day i at least want to dance my whole life long. i want to be able to do so. and i am just scared that something will stop me from it.
• 24.05 - doooo doooooooooo doooooooooooooooooo.
• 25.05 - singing lesson, so awesome <3 actually my teacher actually said that "nothing stops another day" is my song... awwwwwwwwww i feel so lucky. and toniiiight i am going out!! // it was really an awesome evening, except for the end..
• 26.05 - tired...
• 27.05 - DOKOMIII.. i got sailor moon books and a cup for only a few euros. haaa, so lucky <3 it was such a nice day and also a pretty awesome evening. i was in düsseldorf until 2am haha :D
• 28.05 - yeahh.. only slept until like 1.30pm D: haha.. needed some sleep yeah. and i finally FINALLY watched some anime again.
• 29.05 - i think i will go to r. after my dancing lesson. // hahaaaa, nope, of course i didn't :D
• 30.05 - exhausted.
• 31.05 - I NEEEEED to clean the house but i am too lazy.. ugh. // FINALLY OKINII AGAIN TOMORROW!! AND IT IS JUNE TOMORROW! MOOOONEEEEEY :D