• 01.10 - theatre again. i do think i belong here. i don't even think it is sooo beautiful here, too many tourists actually. but a as a musical fan you just feel so home ♥
• 02.10 - okay, seriously. stupid idea from one of my friends - "why don't you go see another musicals". bam, sitting in the theatre on 3pm again, "the wizard of oz". 30POUNDS FOR THE FIRST ROW. I LOVE YOU LONDON.
• 03.10 - i can't walk anymore, i can't stand anymore, i can't think anymore. i am happy to go back home but i will seriously miss all this theatre feeling in london...
• 04.10 - back home yay. school again today nay. but only two lessons and the rest of the day i was just chilling at home. luckily!
• 05.10 - haaa i slept in, what a good feeling. only two lessons again, nothing exciting happened.
• 06.10 - first exam of the year, went pretty well but i was in bed way too late again yesterday evening. ugh.
• 07.10 - no school today, still i woke up pretty early, which made me feel bad all day.
• 08.10 - awesome zumba performance // i love my musical friends FOREVER :D // parlor games with my dad this evening! yeees!
• 09.10 - NUCO TODAY!
• 10.10 - baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad but kinda funny day. i don't really know what to think about it actually....
• 11.10 - i have a strange feeling today. like a sickness. in my heart. or something like that. i don't even know. i keep thinking too much about my upcoming berlin trip. god, makes me absolutely sick to my stomach :(
• 12.10 - worst day since.. i don't even know. why do you make me feel like this?
• 13.10 - it's getting better. but only a bit. right now it feels like drowning again. god, what's wrong..... as if i don't know. sdfjdfjfjd. and i can't change a fucking thing about it...
• 14.10 - feeling a bit better, wrote a quite good exam and my awesome shoes came today AND THEY FIT. perfect.
• 15.10 - concert from the volksbank - einmal spielen mit den profis. nice experience.
• 16.10 - tonight's dream made this day horrible.
• 17.10 - oaah good, today's german exam was awful since i had 3 lessons to write but i needed like 6 lessons or something. i started with number 2 when he said 8 minutes left and i didn't even finisished number 1. SUCKED. FUCKING SUCKED OKAY!
• 18.10 - i wrote one of the.. for me personally.. most important messages of the year or maybe of my life today. i feel like puking. whatever will be the outcome - everything is okay.. OKAY SELF?
• 19.10 - seriously some teachers are just not born to be teachers. really. also 14 days left until berlin ♥
• 20.10 - PERFECT DAY I LOVE IT! FINISHED MY LAST EXAM BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS AND GOT LOVELY INFORMATION ABOUT MY BERLIN TRIP!!!!! OMG!!!!!
• 21.10 - oh god seriously. awesome day again, cannot believe it. got an good grade in an exam, which i never expected. so happy. also i have holiday from now on. awesome new musical cd (more or less), installed new sims 3 games & got drew sarich's new album. happy as shit right now. god ♥ life is so good to me atm.
• 22.10 - first day of my holidays. dvd evening. bla bla. too lazy to write.
• 23.10 - DIED MY HAIR TODAY AND IT LOOKS AWWEEEESOMMEE!
• 24.10 - still loving my hair oh good.. and gaming night tonight. so excited :3
• 25.10 - rough day. nothing to do. too much thinking. just.. ugh..
• 26.10 - SUPPOSED TO WATCH THE FUCKING KOMMISSAR REX EPISODE WITH SERKAN TODAY AT 7AM AND WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK HAPPENED? ALLLLL OUR TELEVISIONS GAVE UP, ALSO THE ONE WHICH RECORED IT! I COULD JUST FDLKJLDKSJFSDKG UUUUGGGHHH WHYYYYY? WHYYYY THE FUCK? // everything changed for the better!!! melly, the best of all, helped me and now i got the episode recorded. waaah. don't even know how to thank her!
• 27.10 - six days left, it's getting better.
• 28.10 - today was a good day. time went by quickly, i think. even though i did not do a lot today. but started "brave new world". reading is always good. also finally watched "love actually" in the evening ♥
• 29.10 - getting ready for the halloween party in dd. going as amber from the tribe. yaaay :D
• 30.10 - party was lovely, but i am very tired. but - you know - i am getting such a good feeling since i don't drink any alcohol anymore on any parties. feels absolutely awesome. i will still be drinking beer with my friends on a nice evening, but that's it.. probably :) so good.
• 31.10 - the final days before my berlin trip start and i am drowning in all different kinds of preparations and wasting time so i won't go crazy. finally got one of the presents - still need one, but i just really can't figure out WHAT i want to gift. ahh god. // fuck you. today's information i got about my berlin trip makes me want to fuck it all. i seriously just want to die right now. BUT i am strong and i will fight to have what i want.

everything awesome about this month:

• london
• wizard of oz
• new shoes
• good information about my berlin trip
• very unexpected good grade
• dyed my hair
• chess cd & drew sarich cd
• parlor games
• kommissar rex
• halloween

everything shitty about this month:

• writing exams
• uncertainty because of my berlin trip
• liking someone a bit more than i actually should

obsessions:

• serkan kaya
• drew sarich
• food
• sleeping