• balboa pier: take polaroids of the beach, grab a cheap, sort of gross icecream cone/frozen banana from ridiculously californian tourist-trap shop, write obscure or soul-freeing messages in the wet sand only to have your words trampled on by a stranger, swept away and forgotten by the ocean, or destroyed by your own unforgiving self, or better yet- leaving it so someone can read it and think about it. best part- rolling up your jeans, listening to headphones, and kicking around in the surf.
• home: when no one is around, wearing the most obscure thing you own or better yet, your favourite old t-shirt and awesome panties, lighting all the candles, dancing drunk by yourself or better yet- sober, early in the morning, laying in bed because you don't have to work and listening to your record player.

• polaroids
• cameras
• darkrooms
• wooden piers (with planks so you can see the sea between them)
• sushi
• hello kitty
• jumpers
• pockets
• jelly roll pens
• records

food & snacks:

• sushi
• green olives
• da crab
• pad thai
• snapper jack's potato tacos
• vegetarian hot wings
• generic macaroni and cheese
• fried talapia with rice and tomatis
• sweet & sour fish
• miso soup that comes in a huge package from trader joe's
• kfc biscuits
• sour patch kids
• broccoli and cheese hot pockets
• wheat thins with nutella
• big ass bean cheese and rice burritos
• fruit snacks
• pocki
• red bean cakes
• japanese candy in general

• we - yevgeny zamyatin
• camera obscura - roland barthes
• blindness - jose saramago
• the wasteland and complete works - t.s. eliot
• 1984 - george orwell
• the master and margarita - mikhail bulgakov
• the city in which i love you - li-young lee
• wide sargasso sea - jean rhys

• when i was a child, i would go under my white sheets and try to pretend that is what nonexistence looked like, i imagined the colour of suffocating, billowing white all around me to be the colour of nothing.
• in class, i can barely hold my laughter when i look under the desks and see everyone's legs tapping.
• i'm usually nervous or anxious when i'm around people, even friends. i am so scared of being inarticulate that i start to stutter because of it.
• i bite my thumbnails and pinch the folds of skin behind my knee.
• i didn't know many english words when i was in 1st grade. i spoke a garbled mixture of tagalog and incorrect english. to this day i still carry that awkwardness.
• i have terrible posture because i'd rather look at my feet and adore the many impe...

older:

• snow country - yasunari kawabata
• jane eyre - charlotte bronte
• the portrait of a lady - henry james
• lolita - vladimir nabokov
• steppenwolf - hermann hesse
• portrait of the artist as a young man - james joyce
• breakfast at tiffany's - truman capote
• wide sargasso sea - jean rhys
• love in the time of cholera - gabriel garcia marquez
• flowers for algernon - daniel keyes
• the giver - lois lowry
• the tale of genji - murasaki shikibu
• a streetcar named desire - tennessee williams
• the crucible - arthur miller

newer:

• the virgin suicides - jeffrey eugenides