변백현

❝All I want right now, more than anything else, is to be with him. The glow inside is brightest when he is near, and the pain inside hurts more when he’s away. I am happiest when I think about him, I am saddest when I think about him. He makes all my feelings more intense. That must be what love is.❞

Byun Baekhyun, that is the only name in existence with the ability to instantly fill my empty heart at merely its mention. The only name in existence to do the exact opposite, and push me over the edge, tear my heart to shreds. The name of a boy whose smile shines brighter than any star even in the darkest of night skies. The name which belongs to one whose eyes resemble that of the milky way, a complexion which none other could ever compare. The name of a boy who is so earnest and hardworking his mere existence is what drives me. The name of a boy whose laugh has not only resonated through mine, but the hearts of millions around him. The name of a boy I dream about, cry about, laugh about, think excessively about. The name of a boy who I will never reach, but a boy I will never give up on. The name of a boy who is never beside me, but takes up all the room in my heart and mind一his presence is inevitably the strongest out of all that I feel. A name that, when spoken, even if I happened to be drowning in melancholy, if I happened to be barely breathing, if I happened to be sobbing uncontrollably... it is the only name that will bring me back. The only name that will bring me happiness. It is the name of a boy who does not dream about me. The name of the boy who will never know the things i've done for him. The name of a boy who will never reach me. The name of a boy who my heart will never matter to, he will work hard, sleep, eat, live his life in complete disregard of the concept that is me. But that is enough for me, because what he has done for me is far more than what I could ever do for him. My feelings will never reach him, for he is lightyears away. It's so bittersweet, who is as fortunate as I to know and love someone so deeply, who is as unfortunate as I to love someone so deeply that your love itself is what causes you to unravel? Despite the sadness I feel, I cannot let go. I no longer wish to be by his side and my only wish is for us to both be happy in our own selves. Believing that our happiness is connected though completely separate, is my only way to keep going. It is my only wish. A notion such as itself, cannot help but be overwhelmingly, heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

When I first met you, I honestly didn't know you would be so important to me .... I didn't know you would occupy a place in my soul that no one has ever touched or even reached.

You are the most beautiful work of art that my eyes have seen, your face was carved by angels as well as your beautiful soul, forming the most angelic angel that could exist ... your aura is something fascinating that makes my eyes shine like it was the purest thing i've seen in my entire life. I could spend hours admiring you and still find endless things that I love about you.

You showed me all the good things in life, you showed me how I can try to see the good side of things for more than they are bad, you are and will always be the person who will hold me when I'm falling; you are the angel who helped me when I needed and screamed for help when no one can hear me, you are the light that guided me in the darkest moments.

You're my peace even when my head is a mess... you are like the sun, incredibly more beautiful every time I admire, you are my favorite song that I could listen tirelessly, you are like a sunny day with birds chirping as those clichés romantic movies scenes.

You taught me to love in the most pure and genuine way, you are my happiness; every precious thing that exist in me.

Your voice is my favorite sound of all the existing sounds, I never get tired of listening to your sweet and beautiful voice. Your eyes are like the galaxy I'd love to lose myself even though it would not return.

Every little detail of you makes me dazzled, sometimes I'm not sure whether you are real or just my biggest dram, the most beautiful dream I could imagine.

My love for you is infinite as the sky or the amount of stars that exist, is the most valuable asset that belongs to me.

My love for you is the fairest blossom which springs from my soul, you are my serenity, tranquility & guardian angel; you are the definition of all the beautiful words. Honestly... to me, you were the person that love songs & love poems were written about.

And I never felt so grateful for all the love I gave to you, the love that I always hide ... belong to you, only you, and no one and nothing will change that, even if the seasons change; I'm yours. my heart is yours.

You are the light that leads me out of every dark tunnel and surrounds me in warmth when I step out of the shadows. You entered my heart and have touched my soul in ways I never knew possible. You are truly everything that is good in the world and more. You inspire me in every aspect of life. You radiate warmth into the deepest crevices in the world. You are my light. You are my happiness. You are my everything.