• "I wonder why Ben felt bad about the gift he gave Jose for the Secret Santa exchange."
    • earlier, "Gee Ben, I hope you don't pick my name next year!"
  • Girl in office notified that her dad died, she rushes out of the office. "darn it, I bet she forgot to clock out."
  • "why doesn't he have any friends?" (whispers) " Is it because he's skinny?"
  • Waiting at a stop sign near a freeway ramp, panhandler nearby. "Is your door locked? Make sure you lock it, he might try and open your door."
  • "You should marry him, his dad's a doctor."
  • "If you bring that kitten home I will drown it in our pool"
  • "Do you really need to eat that ice cream sandwich?"
  • "U kno ur dad gets ready like a girl been ready since 10"
  • to a 9 year old, "Lauren, go get me a water or else you won't be my favorite niece anymore"
  • to my father, referring to me "john, your daughter is being annoying... I mean your son ."
  • not a quote but she typically vacuums on sunday mornings as soon as she wakes up..... at 6am.
  • "what kind of pizza do you want? Would you rather have a half hot Hawaiian and half combo or half hot Hawaiian and half combo?"
dec 23 2011 ∞
jan 19 2018 +