Frog is the nickname I have bestowed on my best pal. Frogisms are the pearls of wisdom spat out during periods of exhaustion or first thing in the morning, pre-breakfast...pre-conscious. Sometimes, they come out with no explanation. Consider Frog the Oscar Wilde of this era... only I'm not like 'that' with Frog.

• I think if Rob comes back as a swan, it would be hot pink. Not black. Or maybe those bleached, dead plaid pattern from his shoes.
• Betty White is the super glue between us.
• I'm humid.
• What's that hate I don't like?
• It's like jacking off to a Harlequin romance while eating a muffin.
• You know, that's why I stopped listening to music! Guns N' Roses started sounding bad on the "Fettuccine Accident".
• If I break my arm doing this, I'm gonna hold you reliable.
• What I hate about Starbucks is those fucking sizes. "I want a medium." "You mean Grande?" "Medium! I don't care if you call it al dente! I want a medium coffee! Fuuuck!"
• Lorraine Segato sounds like something you take for a cough.
• Nothing beats shoving your face in a tub of Jello.
• I'm not finicky! I'm choosy!
• Who the hell goes into a theater to watch someone climb Everest! Just take the helicopter tour!
• I'm gonna milk that cat...
• There's nothing in Winnipeg except nothing!
• If you reach over here, you'll be touched!
• I feel like a slug cruising over salt!
• I hate that word! It sounds like you gotta run off to the washroom. 'Dude! I got a nasty case of the apropos!’ I like the word isosceles!
• They have their letters all mixed up anyway. 'K' for 'Kompressor'. BMW stands for 'Bavarian Motor Wabbits'!
• This feels almost as good as pissing on a fire hydrant and claiming it as my own.
• ...not like a "PEEL-ME-NOW, LICK ME UP" orange...(on describing what a nice shade of orange was... this was not a nice shade)
• That car (a late model Honda Civic) looks like a suppository.
• (Upon hearing a fanciful description that Klingon women's breasts are spikey) Cling on? A Cling-on is a fabric that hasn't been dried with bouncey sheets. And then the static build-up makes the nipples pointy like spears.
• I'm looking for olives. PLAIN green olives. No fucking tormentos.
• Hey! Look! Nukashukas!

Frogisms; some with explanations. Click here!