I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.

And I will not be afraid of your scars.

I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane.ve.

I’m often difficult to love. I go through dark periods like the moon and I hide from myself. But I promise I will kiss your wounds when they’re hurting. Even if they’re in your soul, I can find them with the light in my fingertips. I will lead you to the river so you can remember how beautiful it feels to be moved by something that is out of your control. And when our dark periods match, we can breathe with the grass and look at the night sky. The stars will remind us of the beauty in our struggles and we won’t feel lost.

Long distance is not easy. It is not easy to watch someone through a screen instead of your eyes tracing the curves of their face while they’re standing in front of you. It’s not easy to have a bad day and not be able to see one of the only people that can make it better. For something exciting to happen and not be able to celebrate about it that night. To not be able to have brunch on Sunday morning, or make dinner plans for when you get off work, or snuggle up together on the couch for one of the nights a tv show comes on that you both love. Sometimes you miss them so much and it’s like you can’t get relief from it. Sure, you plan times to see each other but some nights are bad and you need them right now and you need to touch them or you’ll die and your heart has never felt so lonely. Long distance is not easy but one day it will be worth it. One day you’ll live in a cute apartment together where you can wake up next to each other and a see you later means see you tonight when we get off and it’s time for dinner. Long distance is a choice. It’s a commitment to say, "I love you more than all of the distance between us."