• the night of Jan. 02

I dreamed about Spartacus but I was trapped inside a closet and there was a map, a map of the world that kept showing but it was some mysterious dream map that didn't make sense.

Then I dreamed about school. I had my IS math class like now but I was still enrolled at Kennedy and I had three classes- photography, a math class and an art class, I think. I didn't want to go to my classes and I just hid. Eventually, I went to my math teacher to sort everything out and everyone was so disappointed in me. There was also this old woman who brought me to this room with statues. She had a grudge against 'the king' and his house. She did this little bit of magic where everyone in her family basically went crazy and attacked his house. (By house I mean, "House of Snead", etc.) And yet, there was nothing strange about this.

• the night of Aug. 6th

I dreamed about visiting my dad. The house was like a maze and all sorts of people were there. In one of the bedrooms, I found my brown blanket and had to go find Lisa to explain that it was mine and I wanted it back, which was surprisingly not as awkward as I thought it would be. Then we visited this street festival and I bought a ton of weed b/c I thought, "What the hell! I've never tried it before, why not now!" Which was even weirder. Then we were running to catch up to my dad but everyone else started running too-we were going to the restaurant. Caught up with some of my relatives-I actually ran faster than Naomi and a girl who might of been her friend/another cousin. THEN IT GOT WEIRD.

I went into an Express while we were waiting for Naomi and friend for five seconds, came out and my dad was there, applauding us all. We walked on and suddenly we were like, frozen. We were being attacked by GIGANTIC mercenaries, I mean twelve foot tall mercenaries and we're all frozen in crouching positions. For some reason, only certain people could shoot at them. So then my perspective changes and suddenly I'm this mercenary guy whose one of the good guys and me and my relatives down there-we're his crew. So he's fighting the other mercenaries, who he apparently knows b/c this is a revenge attack. Then one of the guys tells him that his kid is dead, his grandma (I think) and his wife has been kidnapped. So now he's gotta go save his wife by following this shady bad guy mercenary to his own house where she might be hiding. I THOUGHT SHE WAS KIDNAPPED, PPL. Anyway, dude tells me to stick my sword into the mattress once we get to my/his house. I do it and lo and behold, on the other side is my wife with a cut on her neck. Apparently dude wanted me to kill my wife on accident and I was all like, "Yeah, let's try it!". So she's pissed and evil mercenaries are popping out of everywhere. I kid you not, these guys looked like toys. Bodies were SOOO out of proportion! I'm standing behind my wife, whose still on the floor and then, because my perspective is 3rd person, I see like, either the real wife or a clone standing behind him with a frying pan. She hits me/him on the head and I guess the dream was so trippy-I couldn't find a reason for why she hit him, etc.-that I just flashed onto the next one.

I don't remember the beginning of this one. I was a slave. But I was like, an educated slave w/honor and good morals. Basically, I was amazing slave. I was also a guy but that doesn't matter because my gender switched halfway. Anyway, chaotic shit happened. I think I was ordered to kill five people and I didn't want to so I was running away from like, my overseer who was also my brother? We lived in a clay mansion and it was like all the stereotypes of living in the middle east. Anyway, I'm an excellent fighter (the best) and I have to fight my brother. Somehow the five innocent slaves got killed and I'm pretty sure I had a split personality that killed them. Oh, hey there Jessica. Anyway, I jump down into this market place b/c we're like in the air shafts (which is huge and clay and SERIOUSLY THIS HOUSE WAS WEIRDLY DESIGNED). Anyway, my brother dude follows me and so do all the bodies, which we pile up. My brother is kneeling to this merchant dude and I'm behind him. Merchant dude is saying that we need to get the hell out of Mesopatamia b/c the Police officer may be dead (Did I kill him?) but The Italian is going to come and investigate and he is not the sniveling bastard that just died. Also, my brother tries to claim the slaves as his kill and I'm all like, "Bitch please. I killed those slaves. MY KILL." So anyway, I tell them that I'm going to America, which apparently exists as a 1600s/1700s colony even though I'm living in the B.C.'s!!! I head off to some city and this is when I turn into a girl and also where we experience some major leakage from the Lizzie Bennet Diaries.

I turn into a girl and suddenly I've got this blonde haired girl whose my bff with me. I'm still escaping to America but it's like everything is really distant from the last dream and it hardly even matters that I'm an escaped slave who killed five people in a split personality rage. Now, I'm sort of Elizabeth Bennet. Uh-huh. That's how weird my dreams get. So we're in this hotel and girlie is acquainted with Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy and she hasn't really said this but I'm controlling the dream so I KNOW and I know that she's going to wait until later and I'm all like, NOW NOW NOW. So we burst into their hotel room screaming their names like fangirls (which we are) and I'm like, "We finally saw Darcy!" because they haven't shown them on the youtube channel. Collins is this blonde dude who is totally charismatic and handsome (WHAAAAT??) and Darcy is...Colin Firth. THERE IS NO OTHER DARCY, YOU SEE???? Anyway, I don't really remember what else happened but all the sudden, I've got to get on my ship. Which is a boat that's like super tiny and there's another boat that we're connected to that's also super tiny and our luggage is on a other boat connected to our boat which is in turn connected to another boat. ANYWAY, I'm wondering whether the luggage dude is going to steal from me and then I lucidly add in that he only steals from the ones with hard stuff in them but I'm all like, "Wait, does my bag have hard stuff in it? I DIDN'T DREAM ABOUT PACKING!" Eventually, we take off really close to the city and I can see the hotel. My friend tells me that they won't be there. (Oh, on a side note, we discovered Darcy's age, which was 32 and apparently this wasn't weird for us, being teenage girls. As the dream was playing out, I sort of debated the level of weird but eventually just wanted a love story so idgaf.) BUT DARCY IS IN THE WINDOW. I wave to him and he waves and as we're going, he's running through the hotel finding windows and little alleyways to wave at me from, which is incredibly cute and, yes, ~romantic~. Somehow, he's giving me magazines and flyers and things because I had had a flash forward w/me in America holding the magazines he gave me lovingly (LOL, Whaaat?). So he's giving me stuff and my explanation for how he's doing this is "Canal systems. We're in Italy now." Um, okay. I guess I remembered this was a dream and that something illogical had to happen so I changed the boat into a not boat. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED. Suddenly I'm on land next to Darcy and he's giving me stuff and we're together and it's cute. While he's talking to some guy (Everyone started running ahead again and I had to run to catch Darcy and he started talking to a random) I find this photography magazine and I KNOW that Darcy took the shot. It's a million dollar shot but the mag is talking about how it's paparazzi and how it ruined someone's life and it's a total SCANDAL. So I'm all, "Darcy, how could you do that???" but stupid dude he's talking to won't let me get a word in. Eventually, I talk to him about it but I don't really remember any of it. Anyway, I get on the tiny boat again, and he yells to me his address of which I only got "Dervish Rd." out of but which I perfectly understand. Then I got on the ship and my mind started thinking about the dimensions, asking myself why it looked so like the Titanic. I even named the ship: the Sea Breeze. It was half the size of the Titantic and then I started thinking about the Titanic so that was weird. Anyway, I started wondering what she was going to do once she got to America and what time period America was in. I'd just experienced the B.C.'s, the Victorian Era and where the hell was I going? I knew I was going to write to Darcy but how the hell was I going to get money and how was sending letters going to lead to a romance when one of us was going to have to travel to meet the other person and I couldn't come back to this continent? That's basically when I woke up b/c when I start thinking too much, I wake up.

Also, at some point I wondered, "What did the boat turn into?" B/C we were all on it moving w/out walking while Darcy ran after me giving me things. My brain was like, "A bike" but then it was like, "OH so we were all riding on a magically large bike? MY FEET WEREN'T MOVING." and then it turned into a carriage and then I was walking/running b/c I thought too much about it and so it disappeared.

And all of that was one dream. For serious.

• the night of August something or maybe the end of July