• having arbitrary strong beliefs about something they know nothing about, i.e. "gelato is definitely healthier than ice cream," "they never check the two-hour parking, so it's fine if you leave your car there all day"
  • the belief in "open relationships" when it's really code for "let me do whatever I want with whoever I want"
  • being secretive eaters but making a big show of eating healthy in public
  • pretending to know a lot about literature, history, or politics (and pretending they're better than everyone else because of it) / acting as if they watch the History Channel a lot just randomly
  • failing to make references to literature, history, or politics
  • trying to ease awkwardness by saying "well, this is awkward"
  • repeating the same story multiple times, but changing it slightly every time
  • thinking "foreign" ~cinema~ (or indie film) is sooo superior to Hollywood movies / thinking anything is better because it's relatively unknown, i.e. indie music
  • the phrase "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual"
  • honking when picking people up instead of getting out of the car and knocking on the door
  • having an obsession about food from a particular area that really isn't that different than food you can get anywhere, i.e. "you haven't lived until you've had a Boston hot dog"
  • blaming all lies/discrepancies on their old place of residence, i.e. "well, in Texas, you can actually go the other way down a one-way street"
  • insisting things be called "holiday" or "winter" instead of Christmas / attempting to be politically correct but coming off really pretentious
  • not being able to laugh while watching TV/movies alone
  • Americans who claim to live a "European lifestyle" just because they recycle, drive a green car, and wear scarves
  • apologizing profusely in general
  • calling all people "hun," "sweetie," "baby," "boo," or some other ridiculous pet name
  • being too lazy to type out real words while texting/instant messaging
  • not being able to like (not even ironically) something that's not really meant to be taken seriously, i.e. '80s teen movies, Gossip Girl, Britney Spears
may 23 2009 ∞
jun 5 2009 +