Things I loved:

• his silly toothbrushing songs
• the way he would wave like a two year old
• the crinkles around his mouth when he smiled
• his silly shit-eating grin
• his big blue eyes
• his sexy sexy stubble
• the fact that he owned like a million bottles of cologne, and some of them reminded me of my grandma
• the fact that he graduated from harvard and was super smart
• he was older than me by quite a few years
• he was a professor and a good and respected one
• plus a lot of my friends were his students
• his super cool apartment with the bathtub in the bedroom
• that he let me cut his hair
• how he would sing the gummi bears theme song for me
• how he said i was way better at sex than his ex-wife :)
• how we wore the same size clothes and shoes, and how one night we switched outfits in my living room
• how he kept a toothbrush for me at his house
• the fact that he was fucking gorgeous
• his non-existent ass, and the fact that he literally COULDN'T sit indian style
• the fact that he had tattoos and they didn't suck
• the way he'd try to say awake when we were talking on the phone and he'd fail miserably and start talking nonsense
• how we'd talk on the phone for hours
• how we'd cuddle on the couch all day
• how perfectly my chin fit on his shoulder
• his smell
• how handy he was - like when he bought me a better showerhead and installed it for me
• getting sweet emails from him during the day at work
• getting random 'i miss you' texts
• how he'd drive to visit me whenever he could and even if he could only stay for a few hours
• his sexy nerd glasses
• how he wore totally tight t-shirts
• how he loved to cook (so i hear)
• how he'd surprise kiss me in public
• how when we sat a table in a restaurant, we'd sit kitty corner instead of across so we could be closer
• how he always brought condoms when he came to visit (he never forgot)
• the fact that people sometimes assumed he was gay
• and the fact that he didn't get offended by it
• he was so well-spoken and articulate
• but he would swear a lot
• he visited his parents a lot
• and would call them once a week
• he had a dark room in his laundry room
• he biked to work
• he would go running with me and he liked it!
• he stayed up and picked me up from the airport and 3 am when my flight was delayed back from new zealand
• he comforted me and didnt freak out when i cried about my anxiety issues
• he went on a trip to chicago with me to hang out with MY friends
• the fact that the first time i visited him i got food poisoning and threw up and he brought me glasses of water and rubbed my back
• the fact that the magazines in his bathroom were wired and national geographic and not maxim or sports illustrated
• the fact that he didn't care about sports and didn't watch them
• the fact that he didn't look at porn (that i knew of) or obsess over supermodels or tits or checking out other girls
• that we would drink PBR at fancy beer-snob bars
• that we could sit for hours watching its always sunny or flight of the conchords or planet earth
• how much he liked it when i went down on him
• how good he was at sex
• how he scrunched up his face and made a funny noise when he came
• how i peed with him in the room and he was cool with it
• his silly high-pitched singing
• the fact that my parents loved him
• his decorating style - minimalist and modern
• that he promised to teach me to drive stick (never got around to it though)
• that he was captain of a waterskiing team in college
• when he told me that he always felt happy with me cause he could be himself and be weird and goofy and he didn't feel like he had to hide anything and he hadn't felt that in a long time
• the fact that sex wasn't the first thing on his mind, he told me on our first date that he wouldn't have sex with me cause he wanted to get to know me first (even though i was dying to sleep with him). we just made out a lot.
• how much he missed his dog that his wife had got in the divorce
• how nice and genuinely friendly he was to waiters, the people at the check-out counter, people in the service industry in general. He would always look them in the eye and ask them how they were and say please and thank you and smile.
• his perfect flawless skin
• how he gave me keys to his apartment so i could let myself in
• the fact that he didn't play video games
• we could get all nerdy and talk architecture and design together

THINGS I DIDNT LOVE:

• how much he drank (almost every night)
• his taste in music (for the most part) post-rock blah.
• how he wouldn't dance, not even with me in the living room
• how he refused to wear a costume for anything, esp halloween
• his shoe fetish
• his irresponsibility with money, how he would buy so many things he didnt need (see above - a million pairs of shoess or a another new bike or something)
• how fucked up and hurt and damaged he was from his divorce
• how he was afraid of getting hurt again and couldn't say 'i love you'
• how he would work himself to the bone and mentally exhaust himself and stress himself out like crazy
• which was yet another another sign of his addictive personality (+ the compulsive sushi eating)
• how COLD he kept his house cause his heating bills were so high (plus the place was already old and drafty)
• how he wouldn't shower with me cause his shower was too small (kinda was, but not the point) or in mine because he didnt want to be in the cold while i was under the water (also probably true, but also not the point)
• how he never had any food in his fridge except for maybe edamame or hummus and so he never cooked anything for me except for a bowl of grapenuts (ok, that was kind of endearing)
• how he would wake up so GD early
• how he never really thought to call me beautiful or sexy or hot, unless i said it first
• how he lived 2.5 hours away
• how he would drive late at night when i knew he was tired
• how he could never stop analyzing everything and just be happy
• how nothing he did was ever good enough for himself
• how at one point before we were official he was kind of seeing another girl at the same time as me, although he told me about her when he decided to break it off cause he chose me
• how he kissed some random girl at a party in detroit
• how he got mad when i hosted a male couchsurfer (but i liked how easily i talked him down)
• how much he would hang out with angela
• the fact that he was a serial monogomist - always in a relationship - he was a co-dependant type of person
• how he would fall asleep or get drunk and forget to call and i would worry like crazy
• he owned a gun
• he would do stupid reckless stuff while snowboarding and hurt himself
• that he broke up with me (i'm okay with it now, it definitely wouldn't have ever worked out for various reasons)

we're still friends though, i hope he stops being so hard on himself.