on death awareness, passage of time and grief

• walking each other home by mirabai bush and ram dass
• the year of magical thinking by joan didion
• death over dinner
• crying in h mart by michelle zauner
• do not go gentle into that good night by dylan thomas
• the tibetan book of living and dying by sogyal rinpoche
• poof, a poem by amy gerstler
• bach cello suites by yo-yo ma
• kitchen by banana yoshimoto
• chopin's étude opus 10 no. 3 in e major "tristesse"
• myth of meaning by aniela jaffé
• skeleton tree album by nick cave & the bad seeds
• i watched you disappear by anya krugovoy silver
• the midnight gospel: ep 8 mouse of silver, where young clancy joins his terminally-ill mother on an emotional journey through birth, life and death
• 'night mother (1986) by tom moore
• automat, painting by edward hopper (personally makes me think of silent grieving and grief creeping up in the most random time of day)
• cry heart, but never break: a children's book by glenn ringtved and illustrated by charlotte pardi. a reminder that the profound sadness of loss is to be allowed rather than resisted, who would yearn for day if there was no night?
• my love, don't cross that river (2014) by jin mo-young
• classes with morbid anatomy especially:
  • the art of aging, memento mori: the art of contemplating death to live a better life, a starry afterlife: night sky explorations of death and resurrection
• the art of composting
• mishima (closing) by philip glass and the kronos quartet
• what does death smell like?
• darwin's worms: on life stories and death stories by adam phillips
• mourning and melancholia by sigmund freud
• death warmed over: funeral food, rituals and customs around the world by lisa rogak
• hold my heart, a tincture blend by ms. tea botanica to support with expanding emotional capacity diminished by shock, trauma, pain and burnout. in these times of endless grief, turning to nature is always
• everywhere, still: a children's book by m. h. clark and illustrated by claire sahara lemp when someone you care about isn't here anymore, your love for them continues. what do you do with that love when that someone isn't here to give it to?
• kid mai death awareness cafe in thailand, a cafe that invites you to contemplate life and death
• smoke gets in your eyes by caitlin doughty
• every day, a good day (2018) by tatsushi omori
• ophelia, painting by john everett millais
• being mortal by atul gawande
• stop this train by john mayer for anticipatory grief crying music
• ikiru (1952) by akira kurosawa
• becoming nobody (2019) by jamie catto
• death-inspired scents like alkemia's memoriam (an olfactory ode to love and loss. heirloom roses, memories wrapped in woodsmoke, a scattering of ashes), bpal's mourning lace (a contemplation of death, fragile vanilla blossom with polished oak, bitter clove, frankincense, myrrh, and green cognac) and jazz funeral (bittersweet bay rum, bourbon, and a host of funeral flowers with a touch of graveyard dirt, magnolia and spanish moss) and death and floral's i wasn't meant to make it to thirty (tiny blue powdery pills and true blue pansies in a blue ceramic vase) also, what is it about this rising need to make the scent of death and grief tangible? to commemorate (or romanticize) the dead this way?
• a grief observed by c.s. lewis
• ram dass, going home (2017) a documentary by derek peck
• instructions on not giving up
• wecroack, an app inspired by a bhutanese folk saying to be a happy person, one must contemplate death five times daily
• life in death by rebecca louise law
• wintering: the power of rest and retreat in difficult times by katherine may
• the year of miracles by ella risbridger
• the art of dying well, a jungian perspective on death and dying
• the other side of sadness by george a. bonanno
• advice for future corpses by sallie tisdale
• a crow looked at me album by mount eerie
• grief, smell and the olfactory air of a person
• under the whispering door by t.j. klune
• box of rain, harvest moon and wish you were here classics for healing through feeling and coming back into the body
• either/or album by elliott smith
• leaves with you
• the haunting of hill house by mike flanagan
• the wounded deer, painting by frida kahlo
• twin peaks by david lynch
• herbs for grief and heart health: rose, hawthorne, motherwort, linden, oat and mimosa
• also the nervines: chamomile, lemon balm, valerian, st. john's wort
• waking life (2001) by richard linklater
• for what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? -- khalil gibran
• an on being podcast on navigating loss without closure
• amour (2012) by michael haneke
• if all the world were...: a children's book by joseph coelho and illustrated by allison colpoys, a message that our loved ones live on in our memories
• enough for me, a poem by palestinian poet fadwa tuqan
• grief relief tincture by alchemist david winston
• i have promises to keep and miles to go before i sleep
• still walking (2008) by hirokazu kore-eda
• do not stand at my grave and weep, a poem by mary elizabeth frye