the "no deleting entries" rule is fucking me over. oh well. i've come up with a plan where i dial my girlfriend's number from my dad's phone before shift starts, force them to talk, and then we will both come home as if nothing happened. i don't want to make one person happy by making one person sad. life would be sooo much better if i wasn't a people pleaser. this is killing me. if they talk then my dad won't threaten me or her and if it goes well maybe i'll see her without having to devise a scheme to feel her presence for ten seconds. i'm tired. i want my girlfriend. :( vaaaaar i miss you. :( i'm so tired. :(