- chew on my nails
- grip onto the end of my shirt
- cover my eyes with my right hand and slide it down my face
- find something to lean on and press on it like it's my source of energy
- restricted to only rely on inanimate objects/things
- think about numbers and grades all the time
- believe that I'll never be enough
- think I'm pathetic because no matter how hard I try I still suck and I can't top myself because I'm not truly smart like the others.
- believe that I'll always only be second best 9/10 6/7 5/6 because I'm not smart enough to be 10/10 7/7 6/6
- be afraid that I won't be able to do well in the future
- suspect that people around me thinks I'm stupid and dumb
- allow the identity of academic scholar to pressure stress onto me and let it negatively affect me
- lose to the desire of being successful and gaining big achievements
- be numb and insensitive, in other words can't step into others' shoes until reflected upon.
- be scared that I'll just be average, cliche, typical
- I'm turning into a bad person.
jun 5 2011 ∞
jun 6 2011 +
jun 6 2011 +