January 25 - I will never have roommates I don't know very well ever again!

Month of February - We may never find a place to live. We may have to ship Andy to the mainland. I'm so scared.

March 14 - We found a place! We can keep our dog too!

March 26 - I think I may have ruined my relationship this time. Why do I ALWAYS overreact and lash out at everything. We both deserve space and time if we need it. His timing really is just horrible. When he needs space, its always when I seem to need to be close.

March 27 - I am exhausted! We're finally moved in, mostly, and I'm not moving again, hopefully, for a very long time!

March 28 - I hate being broke and packing/unpacking. Will my life get better soon?

March 29 - I've discovered my perfect meal aside from almost any kind of fried rice. Whole wheat pita bread, roasted garlic hummus, crunchy baby carrots and creamy spinach dip. Yum!

March 30 - I hate feeling so disconnected from the person I love most. He seems to resent me most of the time, or at least that's the way I feel. I'm only writing this here because I know he won't read it.

March 31 - I did it again; lashed out at him again. I can't seem to control myself. I guess this is what comes of letting anger build up inside. I hate that I feel he's trapped here with me, he deserves to be free and I... well I deserve to be alone.

April 2 - Why can't we go back to the beginning? Start over. Clean slate.

April 5 - I really just want all of these woes to go away. To stop all these tears and sleepless nights.

April 8 - It was written in anger and frustration but he told his mother he no longer loves me. He told me he was just really angry and lost but I can't make myself believe it.

April 9 - I'm 100% committed to making this work. If he's willing to have faith, I'm all for it too. I've never been more confident in myself in all my life. I can do this; we can do this.

May 3 - Life is going fine, so much happier than before. Went to watch some of my love's soccer match, it really looked intense. Left the match early and went to the swap meet with Athena before she jets off to PI for damn near a month :) super fun but I need to stop getting so much sun! Really should clean the apt but its a lazy kind of Sunday afternoon.