- I admire your infinite style and artistic ability. I am also jealous of it, and in a sense, threatened. We're both from the same city and we're both brown girls but you just seem so much cooler than me and your work gets published in our school publications and mine doesn't. I know that means very little. But I'm still the insecure person I was when I was sixteen (sometimes).
- I will always have so much love for you. We are two people from very different backgrounds, and I've learned so much from you. You have a permanent place in my heart. That being said, I also worry a lot about you. I worry about how you will be able to cope with two more years of college, when earlier this past semester you could barely make it out of bed. You don't want to be a burden and you don't want to "bother" people, but sometimes it's more than necessary. Your self-deprecation also pisses me off. I know self-confidence is hard to find, but, if you could stop seeking everyone's approval for two seconds...
- This is funny because I don't really know you. I wanted to get to know you, at first. And then we had class together. And then you struck me as a bitch. But, you're probably not? You are another cool girl with literary finesse that makes me insecure about my abilities. I also was convinced that your ex-boyfriend was into me for a brief period of time.
- We were good friends before we started dating. I came across an old facebook message thread of a conversation with us and three other friends, and it was really funny! We had such good laughs together, and we could relate a lot, both being from Chicago, both being people of color with foreign parents, both being not-rich -- all of those are considerably small niches within a small liberal arts college. For the most part I've moved on, especially since you had hurt me deeply. But a miniscule part of me misses the friendship we had last summer. Most of the time, seeing you provokes small sentiments of annoyance, and I'm not quite sure as to why.
- You will never know how much I am constantly seeking your approval. I am unsure whether or not you know how beautiful you truly are, in all the ways imaginable. You are someone who continually inspires me. Your looks, your elegance, your taste, your grace. I've missed you so much since you've been gone, and I feel as though part of me wants a monopoly on our friendship. Part of me doesn't want to share you, I don't want to you meet cooler people and lose interest in me as a person. This is a stupid way to think, and I know my fears will never come true. Regardless, I will be elated when I can finally embrace you in tightly, for the first time in almost a year.
- I didn't want to write about you three months ago, but after spending three months apart I've had time to reflect upon you and reflect upon us. It goes without saying that you are someone with genuinely good intentions. You have an earnestness that is both boyish and endearing. I am not serious about us. I like spending time with you and being intimate in more ways than one with you, but you are not boyfriend material for me. Sometimes I think I might be too good for you. Sometimes I imagine your parents are racist. I haven't told mine about you, because you are not worth mentioning to them. Despite of all these things, I think I still want to have sex with you because my horniness is unyielding and it's nice to be with someone who finds you sexy. And I always feel sexy with you, so that is a definite plus.
jun 3 2013 ∞
jul 28 2015 +