Crucial elements:

• An aviary
  • for raptor/wild bird rehabilitation
• porch swing
• tree swing, too
• Warm, low-lit, worn, cavelike loved textured, homey, antique-feeling as opposed to blazing bright, sterile, white/blank/grey flat surfaces, wide-open exposed spaces and 'zen' modern style. (i.e. More like a cozy fireplace and less like a knife blade)
• Very private, hidden away from prying eyes. Most/all of it will be somehow out of sight from passers by.
• Defensible. :) You know, just in case.
• "More books than I know what to do with"
• "Large, comfy armchairs where I can curl up and read "
• "Somewhere [hopefully lots of places] where I can see the stars"
• "A perpetual sense of warmth and nostalgia" (these four I borrowed after happening upon someone else's similar & magnificent list)
• christmas lights, cozy, low ceilings, tall trees
  
  encircled with christmas lights, purple lights to shine on the walls, a courtyard, a fountain.
• Enveloped in nature, bursting & fluttering with life.

inhabitants

• Goats (for milk & friendship)
• Lemurs?
• Llamas?
• awesome cat(s)--preferably black cats, because it could double as an adoption/rescue for black cats.
• Intelligent & cool dog(s) from the pound (probably resembling a husky, border collie, australian shepherd, australian cattle dog, german shepherd--but if it is a purebred, s/he will be a rescue dog from a specialized adoption group).
• Two awesome horses, for riding/transportation (if it proves to be cost-efficient when the numbers are added up, which I think it will be)
• Roaming geese & peachicks that we've raised (peachicks are allowed indoors & on the hard floors).
• Pet fox(es)?
• Whoever else, animalwise, needs a place to stay
• Raise musk oxen (1 bull & a bunch of ladies) & sell their qiviut & give them an awesome home (if we live in a cold enough environment).
• Raise chickens for eggs.
• Raise Scottish blackface and/or angora sheep for wool.
• Raise goats or a dairy cow for dairy products.

location

• Washington, Oregon, Montana, Colorado or northern Arizona, California, Canada, or elsewhere outside the US
• probably near some friends, family and/or kids. And probably a reliable buddy (a la "Alfred") to help with things when we're away. Although we could be countries away from everyone, for all I care, and that would be okay, too.

possessions, decorations

• Minimal, but significant
• Books and books and books...
• antique, ornate/otherworldly exotic items acquired on travels
• aside from that--only as much as we need: i.e. not too many dishes, etc.
• Small spoons & silverware
• Low lights & natural light--keep the house from being bright. Make it like a cozy lair, with low lamps, lanterns, candle light & natural light (sky lights?).
• Delicious incense burning.
• Tables/chairs with art (to look at & enjoy while you eat):
  • comic book pages
  • movie scenes
  • videogames
• Fiber-optic chandelier.
• A wall-length saltwater aquarium filled with sharks (catfish, little jellyfish, coral, shrimp and snails), sectioned off internally by compatible species. Dark, deep-water species in the basement wall.
• Terrariums full of self-contained ecosystems (shrimp, etc.)
• Torch hanging from wall sconces in the basement, which will be primarily black, but with phosphorescent constellations painted on the ceiling.
• Paper lanterns...somewhere--but only in one room.
• Candles
• No boring flat white wood-and-paint walls:
  • Walls made out of fire!
  • Walls made out of waterfalls!
  • Salt-water aquarium walls full of sharks!
  • Flower/plant-box walls!
  • Luminescent intricate mechanical steel spinning gears kaleidoscope flowers wall!
• peacock plumes in a golden/copper urn
• pillbox statuette stashes to hide secrets in.
• LED shower light.
• installation art at its finest, baby
• Our art, sculptures & pottery inside & out.
• Low-maintenance floors. Perhaps even floors we can flood to clean.
• Colored lights in the upstairs window curtains
• mellow like Emma's apartment in "Blink." With candlelight and dim lamps and huge blinded windows for the rain to pour and rage and bead against in the cold blue light of foggy Chicago mornings.

autonomy

• Rain-harvest canals & solar distillers
• Fireplace
• Gas/potbelly stove
• Tesla coils.
• Solar panels.
• Recycling
• Wind energy.
• Compost!
• Close to lots of water----something for the sycamores, cottonwoods & willows to be grateful for.
• Well water, less pipes to choke with thirsty roots...? Who knows? we'll figure something out.
• What about toilets & showers? Let's figure this out...
• Do dishes by hand. as few machines as possible
• Washing machine?
• Line dry.
• Cut our own firewood. Grow more trees.
• Collect and use rain water?
• Supplement heating system with solar water panels.
• Supplement hot water with solar water panels.
• Raise bees to help pollination and for honey. (Honey is supposedly the only organic food substance that will not spoil.)
• Learn how to spin wool into yarn for making clothes.
• Build our own furniture.
• Conserve electricity whenever possible.
• Get a sharpener & sharpen our own tools.
• with home made organic glycerine soap, yo! Especially lavender & chamomile. And we can sell it at the farmers market, too, with our goat milk & goat cheese & eggs, etc. And maybe we'll even travel to folk/arts/crafts/bluegrass festivals & sell it there, too.
• Build a pond and raise fish for food. (see 'outside')
• Use solar panels to supplement energy needs.
• Buy & set up a welder. Learn advanced use & maintenance/care of a welder.
• Use a generator for emergency and supplemental power.
• Bake own bread. Make own tortillas.
• Run a small business from home.
• Barter goods and services with neighbors?
• Use goats/sheep instead of a gas or electric mower, if that were ever an issue.
• Teach our kids this stuff. They can incorporate gardening and livestock care into their education.
• But it's STILL going to have flushing toilets, come hell or, especially, high water.

Kitchen

• potbelly stove
• eclectic one-of-a-kind thrift store & yardsale mugs with character in the cupboards.

Bathrooms

• will have a colored glass & mirror mosaic wall (a la Solar Culture) featuring the sun & moon around the titanic, canopied roman bath.

Bedrooms

• Bedroom a la Howl's Moving Castle's steampunk wizard bedroom
• Glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. Particularly in the kids' room(s).
• One's gonna have a canopy bed.

Outside

• Metal windmill trees in the front yard, spinning statues in the howling wind a la Twister.
• Mural on the outside walls.
• Maybe a hive to keep honeybees.
• An appaloosa or black mustang named "Sultana" & plenty of room for her to run in
• Somewhere, a door in an otherwise mundane brick/whathaveyou wall will be painted a dramatic green, blue or red.
• All things overgrown & ivy covered, a nesting ground for crickets & frogs to sing at night.
• Tube lights, christmas lights wound up in the trees.
• A koi pond (or a 'coy pond', however you like it...)
• Windchimes
• Hummingbird feeders & other bird feeders.
• (see 'security')

Security

• A tall fence/wall around the house/property, with a solid iron gate, and an intimidating wolf beast on the other side. Preferably, the dogs resemble Cerberus or Anubis or Benicio del Torro.
• A jacuzzi mote filled with caimans (they like the heat).
• A Mickleresque lockdown button.
• Plastic pink flamingo barricade around perimeter who are rewired with the robotic guts of old Halloween decorations to cackle when the motion detectors are triggered. They also have security cameras hidden in their eyes, so you can always keep an eye out for trespassers on monitors in the cellar.
• Electric fence.

Attic

• Windows of the attic through which the stars may be viewed, and up a spiral staircase, it will lead you through the stained glass skylight and a regular skylight, and onto the roof, where there is an "upper attic" observatory, with telescopes.
• Coffee table in the attic, under the regular skylight. Great for playing cards.
• Pillows, rug(s)/blanket(s), paper lanterns from our travels.

Basement

• Pottery wheel & table, with an underground tunnel to the kiln, independent of the house for insulation/cooling purposes--there will be a well-insulated door on the passageway to improve insulation.
• Jewelsmithing room.
• Weapons collection (aka arsenal)
• Canning room (for preservation of our farmed produce in the winter), coffees, dried herbs, teas and tinctures in cellar pantry; self-sufficient. Reference books for blending teas for good health.
• Monitors a la Batcave (see 'security'). Security system control room (ha!)--where one can monitor the property perimeter for trespassers, etc. :D
• pool table and a bar, good speakers and CD player.
• A recording studio?

Roof

• Somewhere that isn't the tin roof for the rain, there will be a green plant roof for ecofriendliness
• See stars from rooftop--ladder from the attic goes up
• some tin roofs for rain

greenhouse & garden(s)

• Mulch garden with local organic mulch.
• Use home-made compost and free manure to enrich garden's soil.
• Grow heirloom organic vegetables and save the seeds for next year's planting.
• Grow potatoes and save the fingerlings for next years planting.
• Use square foot gardening techniques to grow lots of vegetables in small places.
• Build a greenhouse to extend growing season.
• Build a root cellar to store harvest.
• Start a small orchard for a variety of fruits.
• Use chicken manure (composted) to help fertilize the garden.
• Preserve vegetables by canning and/or sun drying them.
• Brush up on how to preserve food by canning.
• Grow herbs for cooking and medicinal purposes.
• Use edible wild plants to supplement diet.
• Use containers to grow vegetables in small places.
• Grow grapes for preserves or raisins.
• Grow grains to feed our own livestock.
• Grow alfalfa to return nitrogen to the soil.
• Have maples trees & make syrup as a sugar substitute.

plants

• Multi-level (from basement to second story) mini-courtyard atrium
  • with carnivorous plants
  • and a compatible tree
  • encapsulated in a wide glass/barred cylinder lit by a skylight
  • perhaps with butterflies, birds, geckos, and/or praying mantises inside (if there are non-carnivorous plants like rafflesia, green jade flowers, or tacca chantrieri)
  • one or two green tree anacondas
  • accessible to water (a kiddy pool for the anaconda (s).
• Herb & veggie garden .
• Trees! .
  • A Good Flower Guide

process/construction layout notes

• Balcony upstairs.
• Sunroom/courtyard.
• Library/Study
• Secret passages and hidden rooms, trapdoors, nooks & crannies.
• A blacksmith shop
• Greenhouse
• An animal rehabilitation clinic, and room to keep & care for injured raptors, especially.
• 1 guesthouses?
• an indoor swing?
• unbreakably thick one-way windows so no one and nothing can see inside
• At least one window seat
• With a dog/cat run, fenced in on all sides, for the cats to play without getting eaten by coyotes or anything.
• Locked secret garden with a swing. A la "The Secret Garden." This must include an ancient Venusian fountain.
• A porch with a big yard, acres and acres of property to preserve the land. Or it's deep in the woods where no one can find it.
• An aviary, and another aviary just for hummingbirds & butterflies, full of bright sugary plants.
• Lockable pet doors.
• Dig or drive our own well (make sure the water is tested before using for drinking).
• Hanging lights.
• Studio: red, ivory and black. Murals on the walls.
• Red/black/ivory lace curtains. Black satin sheets.
• maybe one room of Pink/coral/white/gold…silk and satin, leather, lace…like a temple of venus…with a fountain.

process/construction details

• We will build it ourselves & it will be totally off the grid & self-sufficient.
• Double-pane windows in the house to keep it warm in the winter, and then blind them in the summer.
• Plenty of natural light, but no big scary windows for people to look in on from outside--either have one-way windows or skylights or some such thing...
• Take legal measures to ensure the preservation of our home as much as possible, in case it may ever be in jeopardy--for the sake of the animals, find a way to have it preserved as a wildlife refuge or something.

possibilities

• Without the internet (maybe)--but full of LOTS AND LOTS of books
• Within some miles of a cafe that has the internet, and also a town with a very comprehensive library
• I'm gonna make a private blog about it to be kept around until years down the line for our kids & kids' kids to look back upon--taking pictures of everyone there and different things, and collections & adventures, photos & stories gallore, all written down to be remembered by.
• A Fiery Fountain, An Outdoor Shower, a waterfall that spills over into the pool, ambient outdoor lighting
• It wouldn't hurt if entering each room was akin to stepping into a glorious new world.

additionally

• Other excellent additional elements suggested by my muskmelon half.