person (m/f) is absolutely tired of their life. nothing vaguely interesting ever happens to them. their friends all have wacky and cool stories to tell, but they just go home after school each day and peruse through reddit. one day, they end up stumbling upon a page to hire a personal kidnapper. being a dumbo teenager, they decide why the heck not and purchase a kidnapper. years down the line, kidnapper forgotten, person is now a fully grown adult, adulting. out with friends and bullshitting around, watch something in the news (maybe?) and some celebrity is talking abt what it's like to be stalked. person & co thinks that celebrity is over exaggerating some shit bc it seems fake af. so, quick af google search leads them to website where they find neat stalker comapny. hire a stalker. well, stalker guy gets a ping and is like "aw damn i gotta do this shit" and heads out to stalk person in a week or two idk. well, mr. handy dandy kidnapper also appears out of the blue bc HENLO IT'S BEEN YEARS and somethingsomethingplotstuff while in the midst of kidnapping person, they encounter stalker dude. they both stop, look at each other, and stalker dude snaps a pic before trying to run away. rest tba ig IDK

• kidnapper dude =
• stalker dude =
• person =